Husband likes women with big boobs but isn't supportive of me getting a boob job (wives, girlfriend)

[Deja Vu Again]

I am 40 years old and things well.... are going a bit south. I have been thinking for the past 5 years or so that at some point down the road I would like to have a boob job. Now, I have not had children so I don't have "saggy" boobs but I have NEVER been fond of their shape. I don't want HUGE boobs or anything like that. It wouldn't look good on me but maybe go one size up mostly to fix their shape. I am currently a B cup.

I have been married for 3 years now. My husband isn't a "gauker" (staring at other women) which is nice but I do get the impression he likes boobs that are larger than mine. I asked him what size boobs he preferred about 6 months into our relationship. He said "rather large"... I left it at that.

He will make small comments here and there about womens boobs. He doesn't say things like "OMG, LOOK AT THOSE KNOCKERS!" but he will say something like "she looks like she is going to fall over with her boobs" It's his way of sort of "noticing" without sounding like a complete pig.

There is this mattress commercial on TV where the woman has large boobs and is complaining that her back hurts but that her new mattress has helped and she sleeps better. Every time the commercial comes on he will say to the TV, "it's your boobs that are giving you a bad back" and then chuckles, looks at me and says "right?"

So the commercial comes on the other day and he says the same exact thing, to which I said "well, hopefully you won't say that when I get my boob job" It's my way of prepping him for what is coming one day. He knows I am only going up one size.

I said "you won't mind since you like big boobs right?" He says "just because I see a Bentley going down the street doesn't mean I necessarily want one in my driveway" This is his analogy for boobs?!?!

Then he starts raising his voice and saying "well, we don't have the money for that right now" (we are currently renovating plus he is cheap by nature) but I told him it was a personal choice and that *I* would pay for it once I go back to work. In general he started discouraging me and saying that "I was being high maintenance" and that *HE* would like to do some some stuff too like getting hair restoration (he did this once but wants to do it again) to which I said "go for it" He has this "yeah but what about me syndrome" every time I bring up something for myself.

My question is, why the Bentley analogy? Why when it comes to me getting a boob job he isn't supportive but he prefers bigger boobs?

What if the table were turned and I was using the analogy about HIS penis? How would that make him feel?

I must say, it doesn't make me feel sexy. My husband isn't one for complements either but all this makes me feel a bit inadequate.

Where is the support? Why is it ok for other women but he discourages me for my own personal choices.

Please don't say "maybe it's because he loves you just the way you are"

That's not the point and if he truly likes bigger boobs, wouldn't he benefit from me getting a boob job?

Also, just for the record, he isn't the jealous type (at least outwardly)

Thanks for any input.

[SVTLightning]

I'm not getting into all of that, but what was wrong with his Bentley analogy?

I kind of agree with him. Sure a bentley is nice and luxurious but I wouldn't want one in my drive either. Too much cost, too much to maintain when my ford truck in the drive is cheaper and more fun to drive.

he might feel the same about a boob job, it costs too much and isn't as much fun as what he has now.

[ChessieMom]

Honestly? I think he'd love it. But, he also knows that it would make you that much more attractive to other men. And that part, he has a hard time with. He can't tell you that...and he won't.

So don't push it in his face so much. Give him some time to think about it. Maybe start wearing some pushup bras with low-cut tops and see his reaction. I don't think any of us want to see our husbands or wives undergo surgery...it's simply human nature. I don't see why you would expect him to behave any differently, really.

[cdubs3201]

Surgery is never something to take lightly. Doctors in general fail to make patients fully aware of the risks and after-effects of a surgery. You're never going to be 100% the same afterwards, not to mention the risk of complications or infection. I just don't see the reason to go under the knife for cosmetic reasons, why put yourself in line with those risks unless you have to? Surgery is no joke.

[gwynedd1]

Hi Deja Vu Again,

You are better off worrying about staying at a healthy weight. I certainly notice them, but my wife is not big breasted either. Most men don't complain about their wife's boobs. What they do complain about is expanding waistlines. Forget surgery and eat a salad(to stay at a healthy weight).

I just saw the ex-wife of a co-worker. Even though she initiated the divorce, I saw why. She became fat. He stopped paying attention, and then they divorced.

I have not seen this with breast size.

[OngletNYC]

Maybe he thinks fake boobs are often unattractive and he doesn't want you to alter your body for something so shallow. He probably is happy to leave the big breasts for porn and fantasies. 95% of women don't look as "good" as porn girls. I never hear about women getting lipo to measure up... why get the boobs to measure up?

I think you should just accept the fact that he loves you for who you are, as you are. Why complicate something so simple?

[bobman]

Originally Posted by Deja Vu Again

I do get the impression he likes boobs that are larger than mine.

The key words in your post.
I do get the impression
YOU get the impression. He may not feel like that. You may be projecting.

Originally Posted by Deja Vu Again

My question is, why the Bentley analogy?

because he probably feels like that.
My girlfriend is DROP DEAD gorgeous. I'm a lucky guy, I probably punched above my weight there !
We're totally crazy about each other, and I love her with all my heart.
However, that won't stop my eye being turned by someone I see while i'm out. I'll never act on it, but I still appreciate the female form
Reading between the lines, you are suffering from low self esteem, and are not going to believe him anyway.
See my earlier point about projecting.

Originally Posted by Deja Vu Again

Why when it comes to me getting a boob job he isn't supportive but he prefers bigger boobs?

I do get the impression


My parents have been married for 40+ years.
Every morning, my mom used to make his sandwiches for work. she got the impression he liked cheese, so, every day, for 40 years, he gets cheese sandwiches.

Reality is, he thinks it's ok, but would kill for a bit of ham.
She won't buy ham, because she is under the impression cheese is his favourite, and buys it automatically at the shops.

getting the impression is very dangerous, especially if you're wrong.
Cheese sandwiches are a trivial matter. Boob jobs are not.

By all means, do it if you want it, but don't do it because you think he wants to. Your impression might be mistaken.
Again, with the projecting word.

[Coolhand68]

He just doesn't want other guys checking out your boobs and making remarks like "She's going to fall over with them big ole boobs". I think it's more about his insecurity over what he perceives will be some newfound "appreciation" by other men.

[virgode]

My take... I wouldn't buy the Bentley analogy.

[WhyShouldIWorry]

Women need to think of this before they marry the boob (lover).