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My husband and I use to work full time until he lost his job, we had to move and then I had to quit my job. Since then, I have sacrificed getting a job and stayed home for the past year to renovate our entire home. I am the contractor.
My husband in the past couple of years has stopped doing EVERYTHING. What I mean by that, is he works and that's it. I do grocery shopping, laundry, cooking, cleaning, errands of any kind, doctors appts, cleaning the cat box, as well as cleaning up after him. You name it, I do it. If he makes a sandwich, I clean it up. Get the picture?
I plan on heading back to work when the renovations are done.
So, since I have never been in a traditional role type relationship, is this normal?
Don't listen to the weird, rabid advice you will get here. If you have a concern, talk to your husband about it NOW before it is escalated to the point you can't easily discuss real-life issues. Tell him your concerns and ask him for feedback.
It's as simple as that.
Nobody here has the answer for you, and its way too easy for you to gravitate towards what you want to hear.
It doesn't relinquish the man from helping out in the house, no it doesn't.
Although I do have to say that it depends on how much a man works, if he works 60-70 hours a week, than maybe he is just too tired, physically and emotionally. However, if he only works 40 hours a week, he can still help out a little bit, even if it is just hanging his clothes away and cleaning up after his own self.
well i personally would like to be a stay at home spouse and i wouldn't mind doing most of the things that you mention. but here are my exceptions. if he makes a sandwich, he cleans up after himself and that goes for any time he makes a mess I would want him to help with the cooking since i'm not the best cook and besides, it's fun spending time together in the kitchen and i would want him to help with the clean up after meals too some times, just because. and even though i would be home and could do a lot of things, i would be working on my artwork so i would have a cleaning person come in about once every two weeks for any cleaning i didn't get to in a perfect world, i wouldn't mind being a stay at home spouse
No dear, to the extent of expecting you to always clean up after him, that's called lazy. His parents should have taught him that, and if it's a new development I'd suggest a chat with him about it. I don't buy being too tired to clean up a sandwich mess, he had the energy to make it and eat it too.
Don't listen to the weird, rabid advice you will get here. If you have a concern, talk to your husband about it NOW before it is escalated to the point you can't easily discuss real-life issues. Tell him your concerns and ask him for feedback.
It's as simple as that.
Nobody here has the answer for you, and its way too easy for you to gravitate towards what you want to hear.
Actually, there is nothing I want to hear per say, I really don't know if this is normal or not. I worked my entire life and was in relationships but everything was shared. My ex-husband was a great cook, did his own laundry and cleaned up after himself so this is the first time I have come across this.
I don't talk to my husband on a lot of topics because its hard for him to have an adult conversation without it escalating or him getting defensive. I don't like to upset the apple cart if I don't need to....
My husband and I use to work full time until he lost his job, we had to move and then I had to quit my job. Since then, I have sacrificed getting a job and stayed home for the past year to renovate our entire home. I am the contractor.
My husband in the past couple of years has stopped doing EVERYTHING. What I mean by that, is he works and that's it. I do grocery shopping, laundry, cooking, cleaning, errands of any kind, doctors appts, cleaning the cat box, as well as cleaning up after him. You name it, I do it. If he makes a sandwich, I clean it up. Get the picture?
I plan on heading back to work when the renovations are done.
So, since I have never been in a traditional role type relationship, is this normal?
Hi Deja Vu Again,
Unless you have children, you have it pretty easy. Anyone who thinks house duty takes more than 40 hours a week is either lying, badly organized, or obsessive compulsive.
If it involves children, then you could certainly use some help.
Actually, there is nothing I want to hear per say, I really don't know if this is normal or not. I worked my entire life and was in relationships but everything was shared. My ex-husband was a great cook, did his own laundry and cleaned up after himself so this is the first time I have come across this.
I don't talk to my husband on a lot of topics because its hard for him to have an adult conversation without it escalating or him getting defensive. I don't like to upset the apple cart if I don't need to....
You need to learn how to effectively communicate before this ends in divorce in 9 more months.
If you have no kids then you are living an absolute dream life. I would love to have a wife who worked 40-50 hours a week to provide for both of us, whilst I do ALL the household chores including shopping and ALL DIY stuff needed to be done. No problems. I would do it with a smile on my face.
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I would want him to help with the cooking since i'm not the best cook and besides, it's fun spending time together in the kitchen and i would want him to help with the clean up after meals too some times, just because. and even though i would be home and could do a lot of things, i would be working on my artwork so i would have a cleaning person come in about once every two weeks for any cleaning i didn't get to 
