Online Dating Profile: Lie about my age? (long-term, women, younger)

[OngletNYC]

So I'm thinking about giving a few online sites a shot again, but this time around I will be FORTY.

Let's face it, everyone assumes that a 40 year old is a fat hag - hell I'm often told around here that I need to join a gym and lose weight, without a person even knowing what I look like! As a result, I think a lot of people exclude 40+.

I am not a big fan of lying. I don't want to seem like I am ashamed of my age either. I can pass for younger thanks to my lack of wrinkles (a benefit of dark skin) but I'm not deluded enough to think I look like I'm in my 20s. Even without wrinkles, I still have the larger 35-45 y.o. head that nobody escapes.

I know of a few people who have circumvented this by listed their age as 35, then going on to tell the truth in the body of their profile. Good idea or not? It seems shifty to me, but they say that A. Lots of people lie, both men and women and B. shame on them for not fully reading your profile if they feel duped.

So? What is the general consensus?

And for the record, the men I want to date already have children and are typically divorced. My personal preference would be men aged 40 to 45.

[teatime]

I really don't see how shaving 5 years off your stated age will make any difference, except perhaps to attract someone who has age hangups. Do you really want to attract that sort of person?

[Thursday007]

Lowering your age is going to yeild you younger men, who may not fit the criteria you are looking for. Forty isn't fatal and there are plenty of men who don't want the hassel of a woman under that age. Plus, yeah, I'd feel duped because if you are seeking a long term relationship with someone then you've started it off in the foundation of a lie already which isn't a good start. It will come out eventually and that could easily translate to 'what else is she lying about?" Long term it could damage your trustworthiness. If you are including a photo then let the man decide if you are attractive to him or not.

[seeniorita]

Originally Posted by Onglet39

So I'm thinking about giving a few online sites a shot again, but this time around I will be FORTY.

Let's face it, everyone assumes that a 40 year old is a fat hag - hell I'm often told around here that I need to join a gym and lose weight, without a person even knowing what I look like! As a result, I think a lot of people exclude 40+.

I am not a big fan of lying. I don't want to seem like I am ashamed of my age either. I can pass for younger thanks to my lack of wrinkles (a benefit of dark skin) but I'm not deluded enough to think I look like I'm in my 20s. Even without wrinkles, I still have the larger 35-45 y.o. head that nobody escapes.

I know of a few people who have circumvented this by listed their age as 35, then going on to tell the truth in the body of their profile. Good idea or not? It seems shifty to me, but they say that A. Lots of people lie, both men and women and B. shame on them for not fully reading your profile if they feel duped.

So? What is the general consensus?

And for the record, the men I want to date already have children and are typically divorced.

Do you have to put an age?

[OngletNYC]

Originally Posted by seeniorita

Do you have to put an age?

I don't understand your question - would you mind rephrasing it?

[MissLucky]

Depends. If what you're looking for is just quick hookups, then yes, but what if you find something long-term? Are going to confess or continue the lie?

Seems like a very unnecessary move that can cause some damage later on.

[Coolhand68]

Question, do you plan on including a photo of yourself in your profile? If they see what they like it won't matter what your age is, they'll be interested.

[gwynedd1]

Originally Posted by teatime

I really don't see how shaving 5 years off your stated age will make any difference, except perhaps to attract someone who has age hangups. Do you really want to attract that sort of person?

Hi teatime,

The problem is its just a simple query. A man is going to often just put in an age range he thinks he wants. I would think I would be more likely to find someone suitable at a younger range. Its not really a hang up.

[OngletNYC]

Originally Posted by Thursday007

Lowering your age is going to yeild you younger men, who may not fit the criteria you are looking for. Forty isn't fatal and there are plenty of men who don't want the hassel of a woman under that age. Plus, yeah, I'd feel duped because if you are seeking a long term relationship with someone then you've started it off in the foundation of a lie already which isn't a good start. It will come out eventually and that could easily translate to 'what else is she lying about?" Long term it could damage your trustworthiness. If you are including a photo then let the man decide if you are attractive to him or not.

Originally Posted by MissLucky

Depends. If what you're looking for is just quick hookups, then yes, but what if you find something long-term? Are going to confess or continue the lie?

Seems like a very unnecessary move that can cause some damage later on.

I think you both missed the point about putting my real age in my profile. The age reduction would occur in the general stats.

[gwynedd1]

Originally Posted by Coolhand68

Question, do you plan on including a photo of yourself in your profile? If they see what they like it won't matter what your age is, they'll be interested.

Hi Coolhand68,

She may not show up in the results.