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When people start down this route it's best to be armed with the proper knowledge ahead of time so you can respond properly. Rare thought that a man does it to a woman, but if genders were reversed and he'd said that to police, you'd be in jail right now.
So I met someone on line 4 months ago and immediately we established a sexual relationship. He came over only for that purpose.
Never, never, never invite someone to your home (let alone into your bed) who you don't know. It's a very dangerous delusion to assume that you "know" someone just by chatting online with them. You were lucky the first time around not to have ended up a cold statistic and I can only begin to hope that you've learned a lesson.
Block him to the fullest extent, change whatever access you've posted online so that he can't contact you again - and make sure to ask your neighbors to let you know if they see him around your place. You've put yourself into a very dangerous situation - PLEASE don't do anything like that again.
Sometimes a joke gets carried too far, and often it may never land if you aren't familiar with one another.
I won't give you any judgmental lectures on WHEN you should have sex with someone, that's your call, and the timeline is different for everyone. Plenty of people have had one night stands with no regrets, I'm sure they didn't know an awful lot about their partner that night. However, I am with the others who say you should at least get to know someone better before inviting them into your home. If things took a turn for the worst, he now has your address.
I'm NOT going to talk to you about not having a booty call - some of us need it and NSA sex can be some of the best. You had what sounds to me like a close call and you kept your wits about you. The best advice you've gotten so far is to not invite someone into your home without knowing them a little better.
MY advice, which is out in left field for most people and probably will sound quite shocking to you is this:
Find a swing party and get your NSA sex that way. Not that everyone is vetted, but there are others around, even if you're in a 1 on 1 in a private room, and there is safety in that. Also, it's not your home. Plus, generally it's a first name basis so there's quite a bit of anonymity. If you'd like help in finding a NASCA swing club/house party in your area or to ask me more questions, feel free to DM me.
Are you so hard up that you must stoop to inviting strangers into your home to service you? It's just so very sad.
You could have been murdered, and you still could be, since the guy sounds weird and he knows where you live.
Tell me what you all think of this: So I met someone on line 4 months ago and immediately we established a sexual relationship. He came over only for that purpose. Then he stopped calling when he said he would so I just threw out his number. Four months later, he calls and we get together last night....to hook up again upon mutual agreement. He drives to my place, 1 hour away from where he lives. So after we had our little rendevous, we were lying there and he says: "I feel used and I feel disgusted. You raped me." I looked at him to figure out if he were playing or not, so I ignore it. He says it again, only now he says: "I'm feeling molested, you raped me." Kiddingly, I say, "what's wrong with that?". He continued to say the same things, sounding more and more freaked out. I began to feel freaked out and unsafe, so I said it would be a good idea for him to leave. He didn't he just laid there and continued, I got dressed, he continued on his tirade. Increasingly, I became more and more offended and unsafe so I got his clothes threw them at him, and in a very loud and forceful way I told him to get out. Then he said to calm down and said I needed to get a sense of humor. Then he said I was way to serious and that he was just kidding. I told him to leave but he wouldn't and tried to embrace me and get-on again. I told him he was offensive and an a.h. Wasn't that totally out of line?
OMG! He was completely out of line and when you got dressed, you should have called the police. I'm glad you're okay.
And as for the EXTREMELY insensitve remarks about a booty call: You are an adult and if that's you choose to do, that's what you chose to do. And by NO means does this give that guy or any other guy the right to make you feel uncomfortable and unsafe. Esp in your own home.
Look at the chain of events. You played a role in it as well.
The others are right. This could have turned out way worse.
Ummm, maybe I'm alone on this, or the only guy who's commented so far, but the OP was not in the wrong in any way at all. He was being weird, and once she realized it she forced him out, no big deal.
And, well, I don't know, I'm pretty sure that guys do really stupid things FAR worse than this to women they HAVE BEEN DATING FOR A LONG TIME. The fact this woman has hooked up with this guy for sexual purposes is IRRELEVANT. Husbands of 10 years cheat on their wives do you say "well you should've known this would happen, you married him, what do you expect?" It makes no sense. Last I checked it's her right, well within the confines of the law, to find a consistent sexual partner if she so pleases. Who are you to judge?
As for the OP: It sucks what happened, some guys are messed up, at least you realized it and did the right thing and threw him out. Good luck with the next guy, there's a lot of good guys out there, don't be discouraged by the losers from the past, and don't carry the baggage with you on the next date. Good luck!
Tell me what you all think of this: So I met someone on line 4 months ago and immediately we established a sexual relationship. He came over only for that purpose. Then he stopped calling when he said he would so I just threw out his number. Four months later, he calls and we get together last night....to hook up again upon mutual agreement. He drives to my place, 1 hour away from where he lives. So after we had our little rendevous, we were lying there and he says: "I feel used and I feel disgusted. You raped me." I looked at him to figure out if he were playing or not, so I ignore it. He says it again, only now he says: "I'm feeling molested, you raped me." Kiddingly, I say, "what's wrong with that?". He continued to say the same things, sounding more and more freaked out. I began to feel freaked out and unsafe, so I said it would be a good idea for him to leave. He didn't he just laid there and continued, I got dressed, he continued on his tirade. Increasingly, I became more and more offended and unsafe so I got his clothes threw them at him, and in a very loud and forceful way I told him to get out. Then he said to calm down and said I needed to get a sense of humor. Then he said I was way to serious and that he was just kidding. I told him to leave but he wouldn't and tried to embrace me and get-on again. I told him he was offensive and an a.h. Wasn't that totally out of line?
ROTFLMBO!!!!!!
This is the funniest thing I have read in months!!! Thank you!!!!
"You raped me."
"GET OUT!!"
"See you next week?"
"O.k."
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