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Old 04-04-2010, 06:28 PM
 
48 posts, read 73,031 times
Reputation: 28

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What's up CD. With the friend zone problem, I haven't encountered it yet but I have a feeling that I will sometime in my life, perhaps soon.

If a girl rejected me because she sees me too much as a friend and feels that a relationship would ruin our friendship, I'd tell her (and our friendship) to shove it. In this case saying no would also ruin our friendship, and most of the time only the girl benefits from it when a guy is placed in the friend zone.

I know this seems like a douchebag move, especially me since I'm considered the nice guy type, but sometimes you have to make a statement. I really hate acting like a jerk, but being placed in the friend zone is something I take as an insult and disrespectful.

And btw, this applies to girls rejecting me if the friend zone reason is the only reason. I've been rejected by female friends for reasons other than the friend zone, and I've remained friends with them. But if being friends is the only reason for rejection, I can't be friends with them anymore.

Is this a good way to handle rejection when the only reason is because you were placed in the "friend zone"?
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Old 04-04-2010, 06:36 PM
 
Location: lala land
1,581 posts, read 2,054,734 times
Reputation: 1062
Another case of men misunderstanding women , sigh.

The women is not rejecting you because you're her friend, the women is rejecting you because she is not attracted to you, but she doesn't want to be mean and say it bluntly!

Think about it, when you think of a woman as just a friend and you have no sexual attraction to her, why is that? Is it because you're holding yourself back, or is it because it just isn't there? More than likely its the latter. The same logic goes for women. When we are not sexually attracted to a guy, we think of him as a potential friend. But when the sexual chemistry is there - we think of him as a potential lover.

Don't take it as a sign of disrespect, its nothing personal. Its just the way it is.
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Old 04-04-2010, 06:37 PM
 
Location: Leaving fabulous Las Vegas, Nevada
1,670 posts, read 3,495,811 times
Reputation: 1559
If a girl isn't sexually attracted to you but wants to be a real friend, not someone who is looking to take advantage of her, it's an insensitive and cruel action. Plus you lose a friend who might introduce you to the right one. You also never know when that feeling of friendship might deepen.

It also sounds as if you are looking for someone to be FWB not have a relationship.
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Old 04-04-2010, 06:55 PM
 
48 posts, read 73,031 times
Reputation: 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by AllAboutEve View Post
The women is not rejecting you because you're her friend, the women is rejecting you because she is not attracted to you, but she doesn't want to be mean and say it bluntly!
Did you read the whole post? I've been rejected by female friends who just simply weren't attracted to me that way and had no problem with it, and we remained friends. They were straight up and honest that they didn't like me the way I liked them. I don't see how saying that straight up is mean or offensive.

I have seen personally some cases where women in my life have rejected men because they were friends and felt the friendship would be destroyed.

And no, I don't take this stuff personally. Life's too short to dwell on stuff like this. I just wanna know how to deal with it when it comes.
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Old 04-04-2010, 06:58 PM
 
Location: lala land
1,581 posts, read 2,054,734 times
Reputation: 1062
Quote:
Originally Posted by HotStove View Post
Did you read the whole post? I've been rejected by female friends who just simply weren't attracted to me that way and had no problem with it, and we remained friends. They were straight up and honest that they didn't like me the way I liked them. I don't see how saying that straight up is mean or offensive.

I have seen personally some cases where women in my life have rejected men because they were friends and felt the friendship would be destroyed.

And no, I don't take this stuff personally. Life's too short to dwell on stuff like this. I just wanna know how to deal with it when it comes.
It is not the easiest thing to do to tell someone you're not attracted to them. I have a guy friend who has tried before to ask me out - I tell him that I just think of him as a friend. It is direct, but I wouldn't want to say anymore because I know it would hurt him.
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Old 04-04-2010, 08:57 PM
 
Location: NYC
7,373 posts, read 7,457,510 times
Reputation: 10082
Well there's becoming friends, and being put into the friend zone. Two different things.

Becoming friends = a friendship of equals. This is fine.

Put in the friend zone = the cat has a new mouse to toy with for a while. You are right, tell her to shove it!

I haven't given it much thought, but the first thing that comes to mind is if she is hugging you while rejecting you, you are getting slotted into the friend zone. Or if your hand is held, your back is stroked etc.
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Old 04-04-2010, 09:10 PM
 
12,660 posts, read 8,483,709 times
Reputation: 4743
Two girls walk up to you and want you to take their picture.


The friend response:

If you want to be friends, take the camera and take a nice picture of them. They will briefly be thankful that there is such a large supply of supplicant manlings.

The anti-friend zone response:

Agree to take a picture. Take camera and point it at yourself at arms length and take a picture. Suggest one of the other girls take a picture of you and the hot one.

Digital camera cleavage option:

Take the digital camera and zoom in on one of the girl's cleavage and take the picture. Give them the camera and enjoy.


Get the picture on how to stay out of the friend zone?
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Old 04-04-2010, 09:43 PM
 
10,470 posts, read 7,585,980 times
Reputation: 15519
Quote:
Originally Posted by gwynedd1 View Post
Two girls walk up to you and want you to take their picture.


The friend response:

If you want to be friends, take the camera and take a nice picture of them. They will briefly be thankful that there is such a large supply of supplicant manlings.

The anti-friend zone response:

Agree to take a picture. Take camera and point it at yourself at arms length and take a picture. Suggest one of the other girls take a picture of you and the hot one.

Digital camera cleavage option:

Take the digital camera and zoom in on one of the girl's cleavage and take the picture. Give them the camera and enjoy.


Get the picture on how to stay out of the friend zone?
Yeah, be an ******* and no one will want to be your friend. lol.

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Old 04-04-2010, 09:43 PM
 
48 posts, read 73,031 times
Reputation: 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by Onglet39 View Post
Well there's becoming friends, and being put into the friend zone. Two different things.

Becoming friends = a friendship of equals. This is fine.

Put in the friend zone = the cat has a new mouse to toy with for a while. You are right, tell her to shove it!

I haven't given it much thought, but the first thing that comes to mind is if she is hugging you while rejecting you, you are getting slotted into the friend zone. Or if your hand is held, your back is stroked etc.
Thank you, that's what I was trying to say. If a girl simply rejects me because she's just simply not attracted to me, it's ok and I'm able to remain friends with them. But if I'm rejected due to being placed in the friend zone and becoming that "toy", then I'll tell her to shove it because that's not a true friendship.
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Old 04-05-2010, 01:56 AM
 
Location: Homeless
1,203 posts, read 1,105,200 times
Reputation: 510
Quote:
Originally Posted by HotStove View Post
What's up CD. With the friend zone problem, I haven't encountered it yet but I have a feeling that I will sometime in my life, perhaps soon.

If a girl rejected me because she sees me too much as a friend and feels that a relationship would ruin our friendship, I'd tell her (and our friendship) to shove it. In this case saying no would also ruin our friendship, and most of the time only the girl benefits from it when a guy is placed in the friend zone.

I know this seems like a douchebag move, especially me since I'm considered the nice guy type, but sometimes you have to make a statement. I really hate acting like a jerk, but being placed in the friend zone is something I take as an insult and disrespectful.

And btw, this applies to girls rejecting me if the friend zone reason is the only reason. I've been rejected by female friends for reasons other than the friend zone, and I've remained friends with them. But if being friends is the only reason for rejection, I can't be friends with them anymore.

Is this a good way to handle rejection when the only reason is because you were placed in the "friend zone"?
After getting the gist of your message I see nothing wrong with your actions.
It just seems as that is her way of 'letting you down' easily.
And its understandable that you would rather not associate.

When ladies give me the 'friend zone' speech, I just decline.
I have no wish to spend time with a person who I am attracted to but who does not feel mutually.
Thats like me going to the Rolls Royce dealership to window shop on a weekly basis. Waste of time.

And I have never put any women in the friend zone.
Of the very few who approached me for anything more than a 'hookup' I just told them I was not interested.
Some of them suggested friendship, but since I rarely get on the phone and go out anymore, it would be moot.
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