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wow..I'm surprised more women haven't said this....it definitely wasn't about the clothes.
you know...sometimes when I have stuff to do...not that I mind doing it...but when the husband is sitting, relaxing while I'm doing it...it just sometimes hits a nerve. I hate cleaning the house with anyone in it while they are relaxing too. Not that I think they should help.....just don't WATCH!
Honestly, I get that from time to time whenever I prep up dinner for friends and what not. I'm male, by the way.
They just stand there watching me. Jeez, I know I'm better than them at cooking (just slightly...), but at least ask if they could lend a help to show me that they care!! >.<;;
Which is what I think the whole entire issue is all about.
The wife was just irked that the husband didn't offer consolation or help when she was feeling a bit used and unappreciated. This really had nothing to do with clothes.
So communication is the key. The wife shouldn't be using these jedi mind things because we all can't read minds excluding a selective few. And the husband should show a bit more affection or appreciation when wife does things.
A little positive reinforcing comment goes a long way
Yesterday i got home and ate dinner, i asked my [s/o wife, sorry need to clarify before virgode sts that im a liar] if she wanted to watch a movie. She was like "yes put it on, ill be going back and forth putting away clothes and watching it, i was like ok cool. So then i see her taking some clothes up stairs and when she comes back, she was in a bad mood? I was like whats wrong, she was like your the mose inconsiderate person i know, you see me carrying the heavy clothes and dont help me!!!!! I was like you should have told me you need help, she was like i shouldnt have to tell you, its common sence!!!!! So after that we argued all night, she got upset because i told her im not a mind reader, that if she needed help, she should have told me and i would have been more than glad to help her! So now shes on this whole kick that im inconsiderate, when every morning i pick up the house and leave it nice and tidy for when she comes home.
I am like this with my husband too. I don`t point out what needs to be done because I figure he has a set of eyes, and common sense.
Yesterday i got home and ate dinner, i asked my [s/o wife, sorry need to clarify before virgode sts that im a liar] if she wanted to watch a movie. She was like "yes put it on, ill be going back and forth putting away clothes and watching it, i was like ok cool. So then i see her taking some clothes up stairs and when she comes back, she was in a bad mood? I was like whats wrong, she was like your the mose inconsiderate person i know, you see me carrying the heavy clothes and dont help me!!!!! I was like you should have told me you need help, she was like i shouldnt have to tell you, its common sence!!!!! So after that we argued all night, she got upset because i told her im not a mind reader, that if she needed help, she should have told me and i would have been more than glad to help her! So now shes on this whole kick that im inconsiderate, when every morning i pick up the house and leave it nice and tidy for when she comes home.
LEVOW, First Id like to say you must be very very strong!
Yankeegirl made an excellent point. You saw your wife was going back and forth with the laundry, did you actually need her to tell you "help me put this away then we can sit down together and watch the movie"? Somethings are very obvious if you have at least one eye, and an adult should not have to be asked over and over to do the obvious. The I didnt do the dishes right, so now I dont do them anymore. Come on, we all know that trick. My kids use to try to pull that one on me to get out of doing anything.
That said I still have to to point out when the trash can is full and have regular refresher courses on how the laundry hamper works, raise the lid, put the dirty clothes IN the basket, close the lid. Perhaps I need to make a video.
Yesterday i got home and ate dinner, i asked my [s/o wife, sorry need to clarify before virgode sts that im a liar] if she wanted to watch a movie. She was like "yes put it on, ill be going back and forth putting away clothes and watching it, i was like ok cool. So then i see her taking some clothes up stairs and when she comes back, she was in a bad mood? I was like whats wrong, she was like your the mose inconsiderate person i know, you see me carrying the heavy clothes and dont help me!!!!! I was like you should have told me you need help, she was like i shouldnt have to tell you, its common sence!!!!! So after that we argued all night, she got upset because i told her im not a mind reader, that if she needed help, she should have told me and i would have been more than glad to help her! So now shes on this whole kick that im inconsiderate, when every morning i pick up the house and leave it nice and tidy for when she comes home.
Men and Women are DIFFERENT. Seriously, women just act differently, they read into body language, tone, and other intangibles. Guys on the other hand respond better to direct communication, they need someone to spell it out for them. This is why men and women claim the other species to be "crazy" or "messed up". We're just different so it's hard to communicate and understand each other.
Another example for this is when a girl goes out with a guy 5 times, realizes she's not into him so she doesn't tell him, she ignores him, or she tells him she's busy each time he asks her out. Well a guy thinks she's still in the game because "she's talking to me, and she says she's just busy" where a girl will think he's crazy because "I haven't gone out with him in weeks and I'm blowing him off with the busy excuse every time, why doesn't he get it that I'm not interested??"
Men and Women are Different, get used to it, it will never change. Just do your best to communicate.
She may have something else about you that's bothering her, but she doesn't want to fight about THAT, instead she's trying to create another heated argument about something else to let her disgust or negative feelings out. I'd ask her if something else is wrong, because it might be.
Yesterday i got home and ate dinner, i asked my [s/o wife, sorry need to clarify before virgode sts that im a liar] if she wanted to watch a movie. She was like "yes put it on, ill be going back and forth putting away clothes and watching it, i was like ok cool. So then i see her taking some clothes up stairs and when she comes back, she was in a bad mood? I was like whats wrong, she was like your the mose inconsiderate person i know, you see me carrying the heavy clothes and dont help me!!!!! I was like you should have told me you need help, she was like i shouldnt have to tell you, its common sence!!!!! So after that we argued all night, she got upset because i told her im not a mind reader, that if she needed help, she should have told me and i would have been more than glad to help her! So now shes on this whole kick that im inconsiderate, when every morning i pick up the house and leave it nice and tidy for when she comes home.
You got it ALL wrong!! I'm surprised no one said this so far but here goes....
When you offered to watch a move and she said "I'll be be going back and forth putting away clothes and watching it" and you said "cool".....that's where you went wrong. YOU should have said "Baby, leave the clothes, it can wait. I want us to watch the movie together." She would have given you the biggest smile because it would have shown her that you wanted to spend time with her and doing household chores were not nearly as important as that.
Do I need to give a class or something??
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