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I was about to make a similar comment. This is not a stab at MT; I think she's a cool girl. I've spoken to her via PM and she's nice.
But in honesty, at that age, it's "more understandable" to think less of the consequences. Been there done that.
SH, this isn't about mango. She's alright. It's about the adults around her who're encouraging her
What are these folks thinking? It's pretty appalling
I'm 30 and not that much of an adult to advise people, but when I come across a young person who's itching for a one night stand, the first thing I do is knock his/her head back to senses.
I will not be sending out FB-ripped cropped pictures of him, but you guys can ask SierraAZ if you want confirmation. She's a witness.
About the whole FWB thing. . . sigh, let me try to verbalize the thoughts going on in my head.
First of all, I'm not into the whole FWB idea and I'm 99% sure this guy isn't either, although I haven't and am not planning on asking him. He's just not that type of guy and, honestly, I'm not that type of girl. Not into one night stands either.
He is a good guy. He isn't an airhead, he isn't a jerk, and he isn't trying to be Tucker Max (Google him if you don't know). He will make many, many girls very happy and I mean that in a completely nonsexual way. He's totally the guy you bring home to the family and adults love him. But - there's always a catch - he's just not my type. We're simply not compatible in life. We think differently, see things differently, and want different things in life. For example, I'm the type that craves adventure and travel and am constantly suffering from a bit of wanderlust. I want to go see and experience everything I possibly can. He's the type that grew up in a small town, is very comfortable and happy there, and will stay in a small town and raise a family. There's nothing wrong with either of those - just different. He's the ultimate good Southern boy, which is the antithesis of everything I desire in a guy.
I'm going to be very blunt and shallow and admit that if it wasn't for his finely toned physique, I would not be interested in him. There's nothing else about him that would catch my eye. BUT - he does have an amazing body - my perfect body ideal - and it just. . . well, it drives me crazy. He is the perfect example of Mr. Right Now - not Mr. Right (at least for me anyways).
I think I might date him for a little while, but I know that there's nothing in the future. There just can't be, unless one of us has a complete 180. Then again, I'm not seeking a husband right now.
As for him, I'll simply tell him that I'm not looking for anything too serious, especially as summer is almost here and I'm going to practically be abroad for two months.
This is just one of those situations where it really is hormones over mind. I don't experience lust very often (my hormones are very finicky), but when I do, it hits hard. I'm trying to navigate this minefield with as much caution as possible so no one ends up hurt.
I will not be sending out FB-ripped cropped pictures of him, but you guys can ask SierraAZ if you want confirmation. She's a witness.
About the whole FWB thing. . . sigh, let me try to verbalize the thoughts going on in my head.
First of all, I'm not into the whole FWB idea and I'm 99% sure this guy isn't either, although I haven't and am not planning on asking him. He's just not that type of guy and, honestly, I'm not that type of girl. Not into one night stands either.
He is a good guy. He isn't an airhead, he isn't a jerk, and he isn't trying to be Tucker Max (Google him if you don't know). He will make many, many girls very happy and I mean that in a completely nonsexual way. He's totally the guy you bring home to the family and adults love him. But - there's always a catch - he's just not my type. We're simply not compatible in life. We think differently, see things differently, and want different things in life. For example, I'm the type that craves adventure and travel and am constantly suffering from a bit of wanderlust. I want to go see and experience everything I possibly can. He's the type that grew up in a small town, is very comfortable and happy there, and will stay in a small town and raise a family. There's nothing wrong with either of those - just different. He's the ultimate good Southern boy, which is the antithesis of everything I desire in a guy.
I'm going to be very blunt and shallow and admit that if it wasn't for his finely toned physique, I would not be interested in him. There's nothing else about him that would catch my eye. BUT - he does have an amazing body - my perfect body ideal - and it just. . . well, it drives me crazy. He is the perfect example of Mr. Right Now - not Mr. Right (at least for me anyways).
I think I might date him for a little while, but I know that there's nothing in the future. There just can't be, unless one of us has a complete 180. Then again, I'm not seeking a husband right now.
As for him, I'll simply tell him that I'm not looking for anything too serious, especially as summer is almost here and I'm going to practically be abroad for two months.
This is just one of those situations where it really is hormones over mind. I don't experience lust very often (my hormones are very finicky), but when I do, it hits hard. I'm trying to navigate this minefield with as much caution as possible so no one ends up hurt.
Mango Tango,
Props to you for being honest w/ yourself (and with us here). Props to you as well for being honest to him, at least based on this post.
I totally hear what you're saying. Sometimes we can't help whom we like or find attractive. One of my pioneer adventures in seeking to sate unbridled, raw lust was precisely with a small-town girl with a very narrow worldview and outlook. As I look back, I realized we had absolutely nothing in common. We didn't like the same foods; we communicated differently; etc. But she was smoking hot; and, truth be told, she was an amazing lover.
As for you - you're in your early 20s and you just said you're an explorer. That's great - that's the mentality you should have especially at your age because the time will come when regardless of how much you want to see and to get to know the world, circumstances (career, time, school, and perhaps money) won't let you. I also say this as I myself realize I should've been more like that in my 20s, and am in some ways playing catch-up.
I'm sure you'll do the right thing. You are definitely a person who thinks things through before acting. Many people far older than you aren't like that, much to their great detriment.
good for you. I didnt have a one night stand until about a month and a half ago.... I am still regretting it, as I developed feelings pretty fast, after about a week and a half, lol....we just have too much in common, now we are both confused and well, just not the best way to start a relationship, each wondering if the other is a player etc.... I am 37, and it is something I will never waist myself on again.... I have already hurt us both, and hope it can be repaired.
Unless one of them puts some emotional attachment into it which would make the breakup very messy.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sprawling_Homeowner
Yep. Many folks who think they can do the FWB think sooner or later realize they get jealous when their sex buddy goes steady.
I guess there's just something quite tricky about male and female gonads coming in contact that generates emotions.
I think she gets that based on this post she made a while back in a different thread.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mango tango
Say what??
I know a lot of girls who always act like they have a point to prove. I can play guys the same way they play girls. I can be a bada$$ too. I can have casual sex and tons of hookups without getting attached or hurt. I can be just like a guy.
Sure, maybe some girls can, but I bet those girls know exactly what they're getting themselves into before hand and don't hold onto any expectations. You can't just act like you don't care in order to prove to all the guys that you don't care. You have to genuinely not give a Moderator cut: snip about anything past the sweaty, writhing minutes you spent with that person. Besides, regardless of whether anyone wants to admit it or not, girls and guys are different. We are not the same and we never will be the same.
SH, this isn't about mango. She's alright. It's about the adults around her who're encouraging her
What are these folks thinking? It's pretty appalling
I'm 30 and not that much of an adult to advise people, but when I come across a young person who's itching for a one night stand, the first thing I do is knock his/her head back to senses.
good for you. I didnt have a one night stand until about a month and a half ago.... I am still regretting it, as I developed feelings pretty fast, after about a week and a half, lol....we just have too much in common, now we are both confused and well, just not the best way to start a relationship, each wondering if the other is a player etc.... I am 37, and it is something I will never waist myself on again.... I have already hurt us both, and hope it can be repaired.
Hi misswee,
The hardest thing I ever did was give up sex after I realized it made me change the way I thought about people. I realized it made me think they were much better people than they were. So what was my choice? Exquisite pleasure or my soul?
After hearing about my friends crabs, accidental pregnancies, rushed marriages, I have always felt vindicated for choosing my soul.
I will not be sending out FB-ripped cropped pictures of him, but you guys can ask SierraAZ if you want confirmation. She's a witness.
About the whole FWB thing. . . sigh, let me try to verbalize the thoughts going on in my head.
First of all, I'm not into the whole FWB idea and I'm 99% sure this guy isn't either, although I haven't and am not planning on asking him. He's just not that type of guy and, honestly, I'm not that type of girl. Not into one night stands either.
He is a good guy. He isn't an airhead, he isn't a jerk, and he isn't trying to be Tucker Max (Google him if you don't know). He will make many, many girls very happy and I mean that in a completely nonsexual way. He's totally the guy you bring home to the family and adults love him. But - there's always a catch - he's just not my type. We're simply not compatible in life. We think differently, see things differently, and want different things in life. For example, I'm the type that craves adventure and travel and am constantly suffering from a bit of wanderlust. I want to go see and experience everything I possibly can. He's the type that grew up in a small town, is very comfortable and happy there, and will stay in a small town and raise a family. There's nothing wrong with either of those - just different. He's the ultimate good Southern boy, which is the antithesis of everything I desire in a guy.
I'm going to be very blunt and shallow and admit that if it wasn't for his finely toned physique, I would not be interested in him. There's nothing else about him that would catch my eye. BUT - he does have an amazing body - my perfect body ideal - and it just. . . well, it drives me crazy. He is the perfect example of Mr. Right Now - not Mr. Right (at least for me anyways).
I think I might date him for a little while, but I know that there's nothing in the future. There just can't be, unless one of us has a complete 180. Then again, I'm not seeking a husband right now.
As for him, I'll simply tell him that I'm not looking for anything too serious, especially as summer is almost here and I'm going to practically be abroad for two months.
This is just one of those situations where it really is hormones over mind. I don't experience lust very often (my hormones are very finicky), but when I do, it hits hard. I'm trying to navigate this minefield with as much caution as possible so no one ends up hurt.
Hi mango tango,
If you really like this guy unselfishly, why not just guide him to someone else? You are also in a much worse condition because it sure does not look like a fling like attitude to me. Intimacy with your obvious affection for him will only make it worse on both of you. Your bodies will start trying to bond the two of you. You already know the reason why.
There are those times when you meet someone and it quickly dawns on you that you will likely have nothing in common with this person. It's obvious before you've even had a long conversation with the person. After you've had that long conversation, you're thoughts are confirmed. You want A; he/she wants B. We're talking practically complete opposites.
However, the one thing that keeps you interested in and around this person is that you are insanely attracted to this person's body. It's simply a work of art and you know that if this person started to become a bit flabby, all attraction would evacuate faster than a building on fire. But it's not flabby now. It's. . . sigh.
Yes, this is such textbook definition of lust. It never ceases to amaze me how strong hormones can be sometimes. Part of me wants to give in, but I also don't want to create a victim in the process.
Well, I was never lusting after someone just because of their body, but I can understand where you are coming from.
I would just go for it if I were you. Life is too short.
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