Bringing up past relationships discussion (boyfriend, marry, girl, love)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I think past relationships can be a very good indicator of a person's character. The problem is, a lot of people are going to paint their ex in a bad light rather than admit that the failed relationship was their fault. For example, when I asked my ex-fiance why he got divorced, he basically said that his ex made bad decisions, that they fought all the time, and that she had no ambition. Hmmmm, truth was he cheated on her and left her for another woman. Funny how the truth didn't come out until he and I were already in a committed relationship and then of course he convinced me that he had changed since then
So, discussing past relationships can be helpful, but only if everyone is really honest about what happened previously and has learned from past mistakes.
Well none of this thread matters, because we didn't really talk about it anyway. I just got back from the date now, and I guess this is just me venting but: I have no idea what the **** is going on with this girl. I mean, I can tell she's interested, she calls me, texts me, willing to go out with me now 4 times, kisses me after each date, but it's like she won't get past that.
Maybe I'm just messed up because I've been in other effed up relationships, but usually women try to pry all kinds of information from you, like personal info, like past dating, relationships, feelings about stuff, what you're looking for, how I feel about them, stuff like that. This girl doesn't ask ANY OF THAT ****. Honestly, she was very shy at first, and I could tell she gets a little nervous around me, and if I let her, she would just ramble on and on about her stuff about work, friends, her family, and she really doesn't ever ask me anything. She hasn't tried to pry into me ONE BIT....is this the TWILIGHT ZONE OR SOMETHING??
I mean, honestly, I've read freaking books about how to read when a girl isn't interested, but she is doing things that SCREAMS high interest, yet it doesn't sound like she wants to know anything about me. I'm used to having to be on my guard, but from this girl nothing? Is she being careful? Is she taking it super slow or something? I mean I don't care that all I've gotten after each date is a kiss, that's fine, I'm cool with that because I like her, but even women are extremely impatient by now and at least want to know what direction things are going in. Seriously, WTF is going on? Am I just retarded? Maybe a little drunk? Someone PLEASE shed the light...
cdubs,
Geez, dude, CHILL! I don't ask my dates all sorts of questions! I share a bit about me and then they share a bit about themselves. I don't like asking a bunch of questions about them because I'd feel like I'm giving them the third-degree! I prefer that they just tell me what they want, when they want.
I think you're starting to over-analyze. Just let it be. You can't have a "timetable" and a bunch of expectations. That's really not fair to your dates.
cdubs,
Geez, dude, CHILL! I don't ask my dates all sorts of questions! I share a bit about me and then they share a bit about themselves. I don't like asking a bunch of questions about them because I'd feel like I'm giving them the third-degree! I prefer that they just tell me what they want, when they want.
I think you're starting to over-analyze. Just let it be. You can't have a "timetable" and a bunch of expectations. That's really not fair to your dates.
I guess I'm just caught off guard a little, maybe I don't know how this is supposed to work. I guess we've been doing the share a little bit about each other thing for 2 weeks now, and usually women try to keep me or cut me loose by now. I just don't deal well with the gray area, thought maybe I'd have a better idea by now, but whatever, I'll just take it date by date. I just feel like is there something I should be doing? is it up to me to initiate seriousness? How does THAT work?
yeah dude just take it easy and dont worry about it too much. things will happen if they are suposed to happen. in the meantime just have fun. one thing ive learned from dating is that everyone is different, not everyone is gonna follow the same rules or go by whatever books. not all girls are perfect socially either. it might hit her next date she hasnt asked about you much and she might throw a few questions out there.
youve been dating 2 weeks? wouldnt worry about breaching serious topics just yet. again have some fun.
I guess I'm just caught off guard a little, maybe I don't know how this is supposed to work. I guess we've been doing the share a little bit about each other thing for 2 weeks now, and usually women try to keep me or cut me loose by now. I just don't deal well with the gray area, thought maybe I'd have a better idea by now, but whatever, I'll just take it date by date. I just feel like is there something I should be doing? is it up to me to initiate seriousness? How does THAT work?
It's only been 2 weeks. You shouldn't even be thinking of "initiating seriousness." Goodness gracious! Just relax and enjoy the ride, wherever it ends up. If you don't chill, then you might start creeping her out with all of this tension!
I think the girl likes you, just that she doesn't feel the need to rush things after just 2 weeks (why? lets say if you're "the one" for her, then she has the rest of her life with you). I barely develop feelings for most men by a month's time so just be patient. As a woman, I don't know what kind of woman gives the "where is this going?" question after 2 weeks, maybe after about a month, but not normally earlier, but I think most importantly it depends on how things feel they're going and then you define it that way (if that makes sense, lol).
That, and I'm 23, my girlfriends and I talk about the "past relationships" convo with new potential relationships. They think I'm crazy when I say the past is irrelevant as long as you know what kind of mate they have been before you and the kind of mate they can be with you after what they've learned. So far they're winning that debate since they have relationships and I don't, but ultimately, I know I'm going to have something that feels more real when it does happen because I'm doing what's right for me, not what other's think I should do.
I think most of these posters are older and I always take advice from my elders regarding love and dating, especially those still happily married. Listen to them!
bottom line, do what you feel right and be patient with yourself and these women.
Well none of this thread matters, because we didn't really talk about it anyway. I just got back from the date now, and I guess this is just me venting but: I have no idea what the **** is going on with this girl. I mean, I can tell she's interested, she calls me, texts me, willing to go out with me now 4 times, kisses me after each date, but it's like she won't get past that.
Maybe I'm just messed up because I've been in other effed up relationships, but usually women try to pry all kinds of information from you, like personal info, like past dating, relationships, feelings about stuff, what you're looking for, how I feel about them, stuff like that. This girl doesn't ask ANY OF THAT ****. Honestly, she was very shy at first, and I could tell she gets a little nervous around me, and if I let her, she would just ramble on and on about her stuff about work, friends, her family, and she really doesn't ever ask me anything. She hasn't tried to pry into me ONE BIT....is this the TWILIGHT ZONE OR SOMETHING??
I mean, honestly, I've read freaking books about how to read when a girl isn't interested, but she is doing things that SCREAMS high interest, yet it doesn't sound like she wants to know anything about me. I'm used to having to be on my guard, but from this girl nothing? Is she being careful? Is she taking it super slow or something? I mean I don't care that all I've gotten after each date is a kiss, that's fine, I'm cool with that because I like her, but even women are extremely impatient by now and at least want to know what direction things are going in. Seriously, WTF is going on? Am I just retarded? Maybe a little drunk? Someone PLEASE shed the light...
I think you just found somebody that likes you for you, and could care less about all the other BS/past. She sounds like she's just enjoying you and the moment.
I think you sound lucky. Enjoy it.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
