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I have been married for a year and a half but the marriage has been over for months. He said he was never attracted to me nor was ever in love with me. (Yeah I know, why the f did he marry me, right? ) We haven't been intimate in a year...
I let that go already. I am over it. He never deserved me.
I met a guy last year whom I've been getting closer and closer to. We met through work and we have never done anything. Go out or kiss or have sex. We mostly just talk, for hours on end.
We have really good chemistry and he's a good guy who happens to have his sh*t together ( unlike my soon to be ex ). He said he likes me and wants to go out with me. I feel the same way.
I don't want to rush into anything, I want us to be friends for a while and build a strong friendship before we do anything else. However, I am VERY interested in him and I am afraid to fall in love with him, mostly because of what I went through with the ex.
Is it taking time in between relationships always a rule? What if you meet someone amazing whom you can see yourself spending lots of time with? Should you go for it or walk away from it and focus on other things?
I have been married for a year and a half but the marriage has been over for months. He said he was never attracted to me nor was ever in love with me. (Yeah I know, why the f did he marry me, right? ) We haven't been intimate in a year...
I let that go already. I am over it. He never deserved me.
I met a guy last year whom I've been getting closer and closer to. We met through work and we have never done anything. Go out or kiss or have sex. We mostly just talk, for hours on end.
We have really good chemistry and he's a good guy who happens to have his sh*t together ( unlike my soon to be ex ). He said he likes me and wants to go out with me. I feel the same way.
I don't want to rush into anything, I want us to be friends for a while and build a strong friendship before we do anything else. However, I am VERY interested in him and I am afraid to fall in love with him, mostly because of what I went through with the ex.
Is it taking time in between relationships always a rule? What if you meet someone amazing whom you can see yourself spending lots of time with? Should you go for it or walk away from it and focus on other things?
Any input would be appreciated!
I will only date someone that has completely washed their hands from a ex from now on. I don't want to have them build feelings for me while still having them for him. You are the new guy and it is too easy for the ex with more time under his belt to BS his way back to her. I will never do that again.
I have been married for a year and a half but the marriage has been over for months. He said he was never attracted to me nor was ever in love with me. (Yeah I know, why the f did he marry me, right? ) We haven't been intimate in a year...
I let that go already. I am over it. He never deserved me.
I met a guy last year whom I've been getting closer and closer to. We met through work and we have never done anything. Go out or kiss or have sex. We mostly just talk, for hours on end.
We have really good chemistry and he's a good guy who happens to have his sh*t together ( unlike my soon to be ex ). He said he likes me and wants to go out with me. I feel the same way.
I don't want to rush into anything, I want us to be friends for a while and build a strong friendship before we do anything else. However, I am VERY interested in him and I am afraid to fall in love with him, mostly because of what I went through with the ex.
Is it taking time in between relationships always a rule? What if you meet someone amazing whom you can see yourself spending lots of time with? Should you go for it or walk away from it and focus on other things?
Any input would be appreciated!
First of all, what a fool**. You are clearly very attractive.
I would say that it is always a great idea to build a solid friendship before physical stuff. Only you can answer how long you need. Me, though, I took several years off.
Everybody heals at their own pace, when the time is right for you to move on, you will know it.
Hope this helps.
**He's only saying that to bother you. Don't let it. Maybe one day he'll grow up.
I have been married for a year and a half but the marriage has been over for months. He said he was never attracted to me nor was ever in love with me. (Yeah I know, why the f did he marry me, right? ) We haven't been intimate in a year...
I let that go already. I am over it. He never deserved me.
I met a guy last year whom I've been getting closer and closer to. We met through work and we have never done anything. Go out or kiss or have sex. We mostly just talk, for hours on end.
We have really good chemistry and he's a good guy who happens to have his sh*t together ( unlike my soon to be ex ). He said he likes me and wants to go out with me. I feel the same way.
I don't want to rush into anything, I want us to be friends for a while and build a strong friendship before we do anything else. However, I am VERY interested in him and I am afraid to fall in love with him, mostly because of what I went through with the ex.
Is it taking time in between relationships always a rule? What if you meet someone amazing whom you can see yourself spending lots of time with? Should you go for it or walk away from it and focus on other things?
Any input would be appreciated!
imho,your ex sounded like he was completely fubar. He didn't treat you like the wonderful, precious, sensitive gal you are. I call such types as he, pond scum...
With Mr. new niceguy, take your time. Your heart is fragile from the ordeal you've gone thru. Make sure he is really your nice guy.
It's a situational thing. While it sounds like you are over your ex, the feelings associated with life changes may still be there.
If you want to see what happens with the new guy, and he knows a little about your situation, go for it - just don't rush it.
Sound advice. ^^^^
And if he asks you about it, tell him what you've said here about wanting to be friends for a while and build a strong friendship before you do anything else, but that you are indeed very interested in him. A good man will understand that and work with you on it if he feels the same way.
Kickassarmychic, I think u have the right idea. Getting out of a marriage is a major deal. I think it is okay to have friends and hang out, but u should give yourself every opportunity to heal. Coming back emotionally after a divorce is a process. However only u can determine when the time is right to seal the deal in another relationship. Hang in there
I have been married for a year and a half but the marriage has been over for months. He said he was never attracted to me nor was ever in love with me. (Yeah I know, why the f did he marry me, right? ) We haven't been intimate in a year...
I'm confused. You're using the present tense so are you still married, not divorced? Still living under the same roof?
"Is (it) taking time in between relationships always a rule? What if you meet someone amazing whom you can see yourself spending lots of time with? Should you go for it or walk away from it and focus on other things?"
Any bad relationship takes its toll on one emotionally and you need time to adjust and find yourself before embarking on something new. If you're still married then first you need to extricate yourself from the marriage. Your vulnerability is high, your self-esteem is low (you might think, "I let that go already. I am over it. He never deserved me. " but you're wrong.
I'm not presuming that this new prospect isn't good for you but until you clean up the mess that you're presently in and then take the time to learn to enjoy your own company, you're not a good candidate for an intimate relationship. I've been in your shoes and made several mistakes before I finally "got it". A couple of years of internal healing is worth far more than jumping into something new replete with the baggage, and a couple of years is nothing compared to the lifetime ahead which will hopefully encompass many, many years.
Is it taking time in between relationships always a rule?
No, I don't think you have to take time between relationships. BUT -- and this is a big BUT -- you definitely should NOT rush into marriage (or even living together) with this new guy.
Get your own place and live your own life. Have a relationship with your new guy -- have great sex, spend time with him, etc.
But give it time -- at least one year -- before you take the new relationship to the next level.
Think of it like letting bread dough to rise with yeast -- mix the ingredients together, yes. But then give it plenty of time to rise.
Is it taking time in between relationships always a rule?
No, I don't think you have to take time between relationships. BUT -- and this is a big BUT -- you definitely should NOT rush into marriage (or even living together) with this new guy.
Get your own place and live your own life. Have a relationship with your new guy -- have great sex, spend time with him, etc.
But give it time -- at least one year -- before you take the new relationship to the next level beyond just boyfriend/girlfriend. This is probably going be very hard, because he will likely push for more, and you -- having been in a more in-depth relationship -- will find a living together/marriage arrangement more comfortable. Holding back will seem like you're riding a bike with training wheels after being free from them for years. But you should not do it -- keep things as boyfriend/girlfriend for a good amount of time.
Think of it like letting bread dough to rise with yeast -- mix the ingredients together, yes. But then give it plenty of time to rise.
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) We haven't been intimate in a year...
