New husband hates my children (man, young, spouse, social)
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She doesn`t have to choose between her kids and her husband.
This should not be a *choice* that this woman has to make.
It sounds like her kids are taking advantage of her, and she needs to take control.
This man does NOT hate the children (Adults). He married a woman and not the Adult children who think he should support them. There is a difference.
I married a woman with two small kids girl 4 and boy 2...and raised them until they were Legally Adults. This was my responsibility that I assumed.
The OP husband was not asked to raise/support his wifes Adult children, That came along after a newer home was purchased.
Seems to me that the wifes children are free loaders and unable to stand on their own two feet.
The poor guy is against the wall...wanting to save his marriage while having a headache thrown on his shoulders. He does not HATE them but just does not want to deal with them. (big difference)
This man does NOT hate the children (Adults). He married a woman and not the Adult children who think he should support them. There is a difference.
I married a woman with two small kids girl 4 and boy 2...and raised them until they were Legally Adults. This was my responsibility that I assumed.
The OP husband was not asked to raise/support his wifes Adult children, That came along after a newer home was purchased.
Seems to me that the wifes children are free loaders and unable to stand on their own two feet.
The poor guy is against the wall...wanting to save his marriage while having a headache thrown on his shoulders. He does not HATE them but just does not want to deal with them. (big difference)
Steve
I would agree
Not to mention, he's already stepped up to be helpful by taking the grandchildren in, only to have aspersions cast about his character by the daughter. Burn me once, shame on you. Burn me twice, shame on me!
I think your kids are the problem. If your daughter was that concerned that your husband would molest her kids, they shouldn't be at your home. Period. Sounds like she needs to get her act together as well as the others.
Your husband should also understand that this is also YOUR home and these are your children. I think an apology to the both of you is in order, and some boundaries need to be set, but your husband should not just decide your kids are banned from your home without any input from or consideration for you. That is completely unacceptable.
Let them all have it and show them you actually have a say.
Kicking the children out doesn't mean chosing the husband, it means making sure they have to learn to fend for themselves. when they understand this they'll bounce back around and if hubby is still around they might have learned to respect him too...
Kicking the children out doesn't mean chosing the husband, it means making sure they have to learn to fend for themselves. when they understand this they'll bounce back around and if hubby is still around they might have learned to respect him too...
But it's important to note, they are far from "children" - they are all adult age, with the youngest being 26!
They are a little late to be learning some of these lessons, but better late than never
oh no no no....why is it that because the kids are adults everyone is telling you to kick your kids out and stick with your husband??
if they were younger you would not say that.
your kids will always be YOURS. he is just someone that came into your life. your kids are the ones who will take care of you one way or another when you grow older. you cannot forsake your children for a mate who is not their parent--no matter what the age!
That's why he doesn't like them. Besides the fact that they're irresponsible, they are interfering in his relationship because his wife puts them over him.
If her daughter decided she didn't like him, and ACCUSED him of touching her kids--who should she believe? If one of those kids took $40 out of his wallet, and they denied it, who would she believe? You can't always put your kids above your partner.
oh no no no....why is it that because the kids are adults everyone is telling you to kick your kids out and stick with your husband??
if they were younger you would not say that.
your kids will always be YOURS. he is just someone that came into your life. your kids are the ones who will take care of you one way or another when you grow older. you cannot forsake your children for a mate who is not their parent--no matter what the age!
While I don't agree with how the hubby is handling things, there is nothing, so far, that suggests that these kids will be the ones taking care of her when she is old and grey. That being just a possibility, and even if it was a certainty, it is no reason to enable them. Not enabling them is not forsaking them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TKramar
That's why he doesn't like them. Besides the fact that they're irresponsible, they are interfering in his relationship because his wife puts them over him.
I saw nothing in her post that indicated she put her kids before him.
^She takes them in and tends to their problems, instead of expecting them to take care of their own problems. They are ADULTS--it's time to sink or swim!
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