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Old 04-13-2010, 01:51 PM
 
Location: Texas
8,062 posts, read 15,849,139 times
Reputation: 3677

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Hey gang,
I need a variety of opinions on this one because I'm on the fence as to what to think/do. I tend to be laid-back about dating, maybe TOO laid-back, I dunno.

Here's the deal: I'm talking with a couple of guys via an online dating site. I've noticed that the men in my age group prefer to talk and email for a longer period of time than younger folks seem to do. That's not a problem. I think it does help us feel comfortable and get to know each other well before the meet-up. Also, most men my age have had some bad relationships and tend to be a bit cautious. I get that, too.

So, I've been communicating with one in particular for about six weeks now. We have a lot in common, talk easily and effortlessly, and I really think that it's time to meet up. When we talked late last week, I said that and he agreed. He said he'd like to have dinner with me this week and we would arrange it. He had some family stuff over the weekend but it's now Tuesday and I haven't heard from him. I don't know what to think!

The signs are that he's into me. He remembers our conversations, asks about things that are important to me, and we talk about our families. It's nothing to spend over an hour on the phone. He's also indicated that he's told his friends about me.

As I said, I'm pretty calm and laid-back but I think that it's come to the point where this either needs to progress or end. I'm not looking for a phone pal or pen pal. And even though I'm communicating with other men, this man and I have the most in common so I'd really like to see where it's going and, if it's going nowhere, then I need to know that, too.

I'm really confused as to why I haven't heard from him. He said this was a light week for him at work. (He does have a high-powered career.) Yes, something could have come up but a one or two sentence email wouldn't take any time at all. I'm thinking that if I haven't heard from him by tonight then I may need to address it head-on. Or should I hold off a bit, stop communicating, and see if something happens or it dies off?
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Old 04-13-2010, 01:55 PM
 
Location: Fort Worth, Texas
3,391 posts, read 4,084,666 times
Reputation: 2016
Maybe he planned on getting with you mid-week or even Thursday to set the date for Friday? I'd give it a day or two more. Also, you said "we would arrange it" so maybe he's looking for a call or email from you. Although I do have to say that if it were me I would have contacted you early in the week to set the date. Dunno, he may be just the shy type or a procrastinator. If he's a procrastinator, RUN, don't walk RUN! My wife is a procrastinator and it bugs me to no end.
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Old 04-13-2010, 01:57 PM
 
Location: Back in the gym...Yo Adrian!
9,371 posts, read 17,460,760 times
Reputation: 18346
Just drop him a note asking if you are still on for dinner this week. You'd like to know so you can plan accordingly or make other plans.
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Old 04-13-2010, 01:57 PM
 
10,543 posts, read 11,666,596 times
Reputation: 2797
It's still early in the week. I wouldn't take the step of an ultimatum yet.
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Old 04-13-2010, 01:58 PM
 
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,506 posts, read 17,285,896 times
Reputation: 9335
If he didn't get back to me I don't think I could pursue it any further--not even for an answer as to why. That he didn't is answer enough for me. I could no more ask him why or what's next than I could chase a stranger down whom I had a brief conversation with and ask him what's next with us. Hope that came out right.
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Old 04-13-2010, 01:59 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,837 posts, read 77,014,308 times
Reputation: 22814
Quote:
Originally Posted by teatime View Post
Or should I hold off a bit, stop communicating, and see if something happens or it dies off?
I would. A few days will not make or break anything. Just leave the ball in his court.
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Old 04-13-2010, 01:59 PM
 
8,415 posts, read 34,271,734 times
Reputation: 6195
I never did that waiting around for what he thinks thing. I always found that to be a waste of time. Don't play games. State your place and what you want. Its not an ultimatum to say what you want and ask if that is where he is at. I would not stop talking to him though just because he won't get involved on an intense level. Thats kinda crappy.
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Old 04-13-2010, 02:02 PM
 
Location: NYC
7,371 posts, read 12,293,156 times
Reputation: 10279
The case would be closed in my mind. Should he resurface later and ask me out for real, I might go if I weren't interested in someone else. But as it stands now, the way I am reading your post is that he asked to take you to dinner sometime this week. It's up to him to make it happen, and if he hasn't so far, his interests are elsewhere.
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Old 04-13-2010, 02:03 PM
 
11,672 posts, read 13,844,076 times
Reputation: 19019
Quote:
Originally Posted by Coolhand68 View Post
Just drop him a note asking if you are still on for dinner this week. You'd like to know so you can plan accordingly or make other plans.
I think this is the best way. Not too harsh, but a good reminder that he did agree to dinner. If you don't hear from him soon after, I would drop it.
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Old 04-13-2010, 02:03 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,837 posts, read 77,014,308 times
Reputation: 22814
For Pete's sake, she's talking about A FEW days!
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