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I love my room mate's cat, but I'm not "in love" with him. Parents love their children, but they're not "in love" with them (hopefully). The "in love" denotes a romantic interest, and the simple "love somebody" is agape love.
I love my room mate's cat, but I'm not "in love" with him. Parents love their children, but they're not "in love" with them (hopefully). The "in love" denotes a romantic interest, and the simple "love somebody" is agape love.
You get it, That omits you from the "some men" category.
The actual chemical process of falling in love lasts for only a few years.
Estimates vary, but they reckon it's about 2-3 years, on average.
Your brain triggers the release of hormones which work on your body in a very similar way to that of ecstasy/MDMA.
Once this initial attraction has worn off, it could be argued that you are no longer "in love" with this person, but, instead, just "love" them, in more of a platonic way. This love will, realistically, be not much different than it would with a family member, a child, or a pet, for example. The only difference is that these illustrated examples bond in different ways.
It's actually a normal transitional part of a relationship, from early days, to long term, but, ironically, it's also been the cause of many breakups, because after the initial euphoria, it's hard to duplicate the "highs" in a normal day to day relationship.
Scientists are currently investigating whether it's possible to become chemically addicted to the process of falling in love, and, there are many theories that it is linked to infidelity, because the cheater can't get it in their normal relationship, they make it happen outside it.
Since these stages happen in regular stages, they also coincide with the regular stages of relationship difficulties.
The 3 year power struggle, the 7 year itch, and so on, and so on.
The actual chemical process of falling in love lasts for only a few years.
Estimates vary, but they reckon it's about 2-3 years, on average.
Your brain triggers the release of hormones which work on your body in a very similar way to that of ecstasy/MDMA.
Once this initial attraction has worn off, it could be argued that you are no longer "in love" with this person, but, instead, just "love" them, in more of a platonic way. This love will, realistically, be not much different than it would with a family member, a child, or a pet, for example. The only difference is that these illustrated examples bond in different ways.
It's actually a normal transitional part of a relationship, from early days, to long term, but, ironically, it's also been the cause of many breakups, because after the initial euphoria, it's hard to duplicate the "highs" in a normal day to day relationship.
Scientists are currently investigating whether it's possible to become chemically addicted to the process of falling in love, and, there are many theories that it is linked to infidelity, because the cheater can't get it in their normal relationship, they make it happen outside it.
Since these stages happen in regular stages, they also coincide with the regular stages of relationship difficulties.
The 3 year power struggle, the 7 year itch, and so on, and so on.
Interesting and based on my experience I agree with most of this.
The actual chemical process of falling in love lasts for only a few years.
Estimates vary, but they reckon it's about 2-3 years, on average.
Your brain triggers the release of hormones which work on your body in a very similar way to that of ecstasy/MDMA.
Once this initial attraction has worn off, it could be argued that you are no longer "in love" with this person, but, instead, just "love" them, in more of a platonic way. This love will, realistically, be not much different than it would with a family member, a child, or a pet, for example. The only difference is that these illustrated examples bond in different ways.
It's actually a normal transitional part of a relationship, from early days, to long term, but, ironically, it's also been the cause of many breakups, because after the initial euphoria, it's hard to duplicate the "highs" in a normal day to day relationship.
Scientists are currently investigating whether it's possible to become chemically addicted to the process of falling in love, and, there are many theories that it is linked to infidelity, because the cheater can't get it in their normal relationship, they make it happen outside it.
Since these stages happen in regular stages, they also coincide with the regular stages of relationship difficulties.
The 3 year power struggle, the 7 year itch, and so on, and so on.
The relationship I used as my example in this thread did not deteriorate due to sex or the loss of euphoria or dashed expectations. I'm not in my 20's, I own my own home, have my own job - so I wasn't looking for someone to 'take care of me' and be my hero and I knew this person for about 20 years.
However, I do not disagree with what you have posted. It's one of the leading causes of divorces and I even posted a thread about this very thing not to long ago regarding an Author, Elizabeth Gilbert, and her findings in a book she wrote called 'Committed." I think this section of her interview with CNN does support what you've presented:
CNN: So you dedicated yourself to study marriage. What surprised you the most about your research?
Gilbert: If you look at the history of marriage, anytime you see a conservative culture of arranged marriage being replaced by a more liberal culture of romantic marriage ... you will see divorce rates start to rise immediately.
It turns out that love is a very fragile notion upon which to base a very important and complicated institution. I think most people throughout history would look at the way we choose our marriages today and just think, my God, these people took huge risks. They risk their future, financial stability, property and their heirs on something as fragile and delicate as romantic affection.
It's not that that necessarily means that I advocate a return to arranged marriage, it just helps put in perspective why contemporary western marital arrangements can become so chaotic.
She continues on and discusses that women, primarily, are conditioned for a 'wedding' and not a 'marriage' and therefore feel shortchanged several years into the marriage when their romantic expectations are dashed. She stresses many people do not look at what it will be like 20 to 30 years down the road when it comes to marriage and therefore fall disappointed.
She is also honest in that women, more than men, feel this loss of grand romantic expectation the most.
You realize these are men responding with the arguments, I don't want to sound like I'm making broad statements, some men have a limited idea about love and don't believe men and women can be friends after a break up. The possiblity that you can love some one of the opposite sex, without sexual feelings is beyond the pale. So, to them, remaining friends would be some sort of cruel act, it couldn't possibly be a mutual friendship of caring.
Oh, I'm well aware what I'm dealing with here and you'd be suprised that it isn't just men who think this way. There was a thread someone started recently about men and women friendships and the biggest naysayers in it were women.
Oh, I'm well aware what I'm dealing with here and you'd be suprised that it isn't just men who think this way. There was a thread someone started recently about men and women friendships and the biggest naysayers in it were women.
Your other post is really interesting:
She is also honest in that women, more than men, feel this loss of grand romantic expectation the most.
If this is true, I'm wondering if women are more likely to say;
"I love you but I'm not in love with you" to end a relationship or marriage.
And if it true that men think about sex every three minutes , he would be the one to have difficulty remaining just friends?
She is also honest in that women, more than men, feel this loss of grand romantic expectation the most.
If this is true, I'm wondering if women are more likely to say;
"I love you but I'm not in love with you" to end a relationship or marriage.
And if it true that men think about sex every three minutes , he would be the one to have difficulty remaining just friends?
Just my random thoughts.
Could be. But I'll be the first to tell you I do not have friendships or contact with all my exes and some were nasty fall outs. Not all of them ended gracefully and I've heard my fair shair of 'I don't love you,' coming from men as well. Sometimes I've even laughed at this, "I don't love you," (to myself) because no one ever mentioned the word love to begin with. Sometimes it is said just to be hurtful and spiteful. I wish I could say as you get older the bs like this diminishes, but it doesn't.
.
And if it true that men think about sex every three minutes.
Ah the old infamous line. Most of us have too much going on to be thinking about it that often. However if doing something with sexual connotations whatever that may be, contact with a attractive woman, dreaming when asleep, a racey book or movie. Then that line is more on the mark.
The "in love" denotes a romantic interest, and the simple "love somebody" is agape love.
Interrupting:
Agape is spiritual love, divine love. Philos is love for family and friends.
"In love" is eros.
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