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I'm Asian and I'm a feminist. I'm not family oriented at all ( I moved out at age 18 and have been independent and on my own since then. I also barely have any contact with my family) . I actually don't ever want to get married and I don't want and don't like children.
I ENJOYED being the breadwinner in my past relationship and when I lived with my ex bf a few years ago I considered MYSELF the head of household. I don't like a man paying for me, I actually find it patronizing and offensive.
I don't ever want to get married but if I was, I would NEVER be the type to sacrifice a career or job for a family or children.
ALL of my aunts (I have 4 of them) are university graduated and career women and are NOT the type to cook and clean and wait on their husband WHATSOEVER and they DON'T.
My grandmother, who never even spoke English, used to tell all my aunts (when they were younger) and also tell ME (when I was a child) to NEVER EVER depend on a man for anything and that getting a good education and a very high paying job (such as becoming a doctor etc) was extremely important and to not ever even THINK about men until you were done with school, for men will not respect you unless you have a degree and are their equal. I think she believed that because she herself was not educated and my grandfather always looked down on her so she insisted and required that all her daughters HAD to finish university and never EVER rely on a man.
I'm not family oriented at all. I'm also not submissive but the angry "dominant" type. I think I enjoy being in charge and being a breadwinner and paying for things. I'm also not sweet and submissive. I'm pretty much a biatch.
I'm just tired of white guys thinking Asians are sweet etc cause I'm NOT sweet! I don't take crap from anyone and I would NEVER be a housewife. I would never "look after a man" and "cook for him" and all that crap.
I believe that all bills between a man and wife or bf and gf should be split 50/50 down to the penny, even on dates! I actually don't mind paying either. Chores should be done 50/50. If you have money get a maid. Screw that crap about women "looking after the house" and all that.
I really am a feminist. Don't assume I'm nice and sweet just because I'm Asian, I'm a lot more of a feminist and possibly more dominant and NON TRADITIONAL than the average caucasian woman.
I don't even like a man holding the door for me. I open my own doors. I like to be the one in charge and I like being the shot caller. If I had a bf or husband I would not let him make all the major decisions, it would have to be 50/50 but I don't mind being in charge either.
i dont know what "a good wife" is.
but i do know that many foolish men mistake good oriental manners for weakness and submissive behavior. big mistake.
I always hear guys saying how they love Asian women because they are so family oriented and would sacrifice for their families and are more loving etc.
I wouldn't sacrifice for my family at all, I don't even want one whatsoever! I am not "loving" and "sweet and gentle". I am competitive and I love "beating" and "winning" men and excelling, whether it may be beating a guy at a game or earning more money than a man. I like it when I "win" against a guy.
I'm not loving either. I'm probably one of the most coldest, unsociable people you will ever meet, despite my demure appearance.
i dont know what "a good wife" is.
but i do know that many foolish men mistake good oriental manners for weakness and submissive behavior. big mistake.
I don't have good "oriental" manners either, whatever that means. Screw that being respectful crap and being quiet and "speak only when you are spoken to". That's a bunch of bull.
I don't have traditional manners. If you like at me the wrong way or mess me with me, you are gonna get it.
I actually don't ever want to get married and I don't want and don't like children.
That's perfectly fine, it's your life and you should live it how you want to!
I don't like a man paying for me, I actually find it patronizing and offensive.
It's fine that you want to pay your fair share, but I think there might be some issues with finding it offensive.. I am happy and thankful if a friend says he'll pay for the pizza or something.. I've offered to pay and did pay for friends before .. as well as for ladies I was on dates with. Would you find it offensive if a lady friend of yours offered to pick up the tab? Guys don't offer to pay b.c they don't think you can't afford it or think they are better people, they do it out of generosity and tradition.
I don't ever want to get married but if I was, I would NEVER be the type to sacrifice a career or job for a family or children.
This sentence disturbs me deeply. People who think their career is more important than their own child are some of the most selfish people alive. I also feel deeply sorry for people like that. It's like no one ever told them that they can't bring their awards, job satisfaction, and money with them when they pass on. It will only take a boss a few seconds to fire you and forget you, but a husband and kids will never have someone else as important as you in their lives.
My grandmother, who never even spoke English, used to tell all my aunts (when they were younger) and also tell ME (when I was a child) to NEVER EVER depend on a man for anything and that getting a good education and a very high paying job (such as becoming a doctor etc) was extremely important and to not ever even THINK about men until you were done with school, for men will not respect you unless you have a degree and are their equal. I think she believed that because she herself was not educated and my grandfather always looked down on her so she insisted and required that all her daughters HAD to finish university and never EVER rely on a man.
Just b.c your grandmother's husband didn't respect her, doesn't mean there isn't millions of other husbands that respect their wives and treat them as equals even though they make less money than them or nothing at all.
I'm not family oriented at all. I'm also not submissive but the angry "dominant" type. I think I enjoy being in charge and being a breadwinner and paying for things. I'm also not sweet and submissive. I'm pretty much a biatch.
Again, live your life how you want, but if you bring a child into this world someday, I hope you put the kid's needs first instead of your own wants.
I NEVER WANT TO HAVE KIDS EVER, because I know that if you have kids you DO have to put them first and that's not a sacrifice I am ever willing to make. I am turning 32 soon and I know I do not ever want to have them. What I meant was that I do not want to sacrifice my current life due to kids and therefore I will never have them. I don't have any maternal instincts whatsoever. I KNOW that the right thing to do is to put your kids first if you have kids. That is why I don't EVER plan on having any. Do you get it?? I don't plan on being a "wife" because I don't ever want to get married. I AM NOT TRADITIONAL.
What makes you think a woman should sacrifice her career for a child if she has none? Why shouldn't the father sacrifice? I think men can be stay at home dad's too.
And NO, I don't like a female friend paying for me either. I have too much pride to accept money from anyone, male or female.
And personally I don't LIKE tradition. I am not traditional. I don't like traditional values. Some traditions should be abolished. I do not LIKE a man paying for me. It irks me and irritates me and I find it patronizing. Like I said, I am modern and a feminist. Even if a person's intentions are good, I hate the thought of someone paying for me. I just hate it. Taking turns is ok, back and forth.
Count me as another Asian female who never wanted to have children or a traditional Asian marriage, one which involved being a stay at home mom and waiting on her in-laws hand and foot.
Maybe it's a backlash against traditional Asian households where the sons are treated better than the daughters, or the daughters are unwanted and seen as a burden. Or how with mainland China's one child per family rule, female babies were abandoned at orphanages for adoption to Americans, or even drowned at birth... whatever the reasons, we are in America now and we don't have to live like that.
Not wanting to have children is also recognizing that our planet has 6 billion human beings on it already and doesn't need any babies from us. And it's also us wanting to be more than baby factories and desiring a more productive, satisfying and better quality of life.
Not wanting to get married is being an independent woman that knows that I am a complete human being, and that I don't need a husband to complete me or my purpose in life. Not having a marriage and kids, is having the time to have a full social life and close friends of all ages that will be around me into old age. And actually, many women (and we live longer than men on average of seven years more) languish alone in old age ignored by their children and grandchildren. In this day and age, many family members end up moving away from each other due to job opportunities, not many live all their lives and die in the places they were born and raised in.
And the divorce rate in the US is 50% so it doesn't seem like a goal worth pursuing or wasting personal energy chasing it.
Lastly, marriage is only important if the couple is planning to have children together or make a joint real estate purchase. And I heard that first from my own mother.
I dont like picking up the check for them either....or holding the door, or cooking, or fixing their car, or house,
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