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So today is my 45th birthday, big deal. my life is not what I had hoped it would be. I have no real friends, I lost contact with friends over the years because I've been a stay at home FOREVER mom and that doesn't seem to be changing anytime soon. I was so wrapped up in family and kids that I didn't bother to keep any friendships going.
My cousin talked me into going on facebook, that is not the best thing I have not seen or talked to anyone from high school since high school, its more depressing to read about how great their lives are and how much thay have, looking at all their pictures is fun , yet I get the "what happened to my life" blaaahs.
I have 6 kids, my oldest is 28 and my youngest is 4, it is so overwhelming. We have also moved 4 times in the past 6 years and it is really stressful. We move within the same school district so the kids school has never changed.
Why are we moving all the time?
We had a bankruptcy do to a job loss, had to sell the house,we lived in that house for 12 years. then we moved to a rental house for 6 months, bought a house on a contract for deed, which the owner scammed us, lived there 2 and a half years, moved to a rental house for 2 years and made some wonderful friends in the neighborhood, people we talked to everyday, our kids played together and now that we are not in that neighborhood anymore they wont even answer our phone calls, we moved to a bigger house a few miles away. The owner of the house would not renew our lease because he had a relative who was going through a divorce and needed a place to live. Unfortunately, our next door neighbor new the tenant from before, and the neighborhood was best buds with him right away.
We feel like we were erased and replaced.
Our credit is in bad shape so we have to still rent, and we have to go where we can rent a decent house, its still in one the kids area, I drive the other one to school so they stay in there school area.
Be careful what you wish for, we wanted a bigger house with more backyard privacy, we have a bigger house that bacs up to the woods and a vacant house to the back corner of us, a retired couple you never see next to us, a single older man on the other side a retired and aging people all around us, no kids for my kids to play with at all. We are all just a bit sad.
With renting there is no guarentee how long you can stay, when we did the CD, 5 years ago we thought we would be their forever, now we are on the move, all the time. I just want something permanent, I never hang up pictures or unpack alot of things because I never know how long we are staying.
I do not want to move again, but I am looking for a house close to our old neighborhood so the kids will be by their school chums. I feel bad for them.
I know I'm rambleing, no need for anyone to reply, just venting and putting it out there.
Thank you for sharing your story..it sounds like you have had a streak of bad luck.. It also sounds like you really care about your kids and the children around for them to have for playmates!
Think positive...and don`t give up! Happy belated birthday, and enjoy your life.
i'm sorry life is hard for you now. i think it's best, for your own wellbeing, to think of the good things and be grateful for what you have.
i think another thing is to plan, and plan how to mitigate your problems.
i'll offer an example. i don't think i have a good reputation in this forum, since i sometimes post off threads. but thinking about things recently has made me think. to improve job-wise, try and be consistent, since i know on my day i can perform and perform very well. to improve friend-wise, be more engaging and happy. to improve relationship-wise, be wiser and be more worldly. this ties in to the previous point about friends. these are the main points in my life now that i would like to improve, and if i could i would be a lot happier.
I don't think making long-term plans makes sense though. anything is possible in life, and nothing is certain. one event can make a long-term plan fall to dust, in literally an instant. plans should IMO always be short-term. Today, one may decide to go shopping. tomorrow, it could be to set a deadline at work. the next day, it could be to complete a project at work. the day after that it could be to meet one's girlfriend after work, etc.
I fully feel for you. But I often think problem-solving can limit the poor feelings, and make one feel more content.
Hang in there, things will get better. Happy Birthday, even if it is a day late.
I can tell you really love your kids, and sometimes "the powers that be..... see, and reward" .
I think you need to stop comparing your life to other people's lifes. Not everybody's life is perfect or even necessarily better. And on facebook everybody exaggerates their life to make it appear as though they have fun.
Look at what you have not what you don't have. You have a loving family and a fiancee who loves you. That is so unique, not everybody has that luxury of strong love.
I think you should move closer to your fiance. There are plenty of travel options for your son and his father so it will only take a bit of organising for them to see eachother. I think if your more closer to your fiance you will have more support to help with the stress your going threw.
Unstability is a terrible feeling, i have been threw that so many times. I suggest saving on a consistant basis, even if its something small, just as long as its regular and you dont spend it. That savings will help you achieve some of the financial problems that you may be having.
Thank you for all the kind words and birthday wishes.
It seems when people hit their mid 40"s we tend to reflect.....a bit too much.
Hence, the mid life crisis.
Things are sure to get better, I HOPE.
Thank you for all the kind words and birthday wishes.
It seems when people hit their mid 40"s we tend to reflect.....a bit too much.
Hence, the mid life crisis.
Things are sure to get better, I HOPE.
just look at it all this way.....it can always be worse
Thank you for all the kind words and birthday wishes.
It seems when people hit their mid 40"s we tend to reflect.....a bit too much.
Hence, the mid life crisis.
Things are sure to get better, I HOPE.
I love the phrase "Bloom where you're planted"...I know it can't solve everything for you, but it can help...just remember, for your children, that home really is where the heart is...help them create memories that relate to your family instead of the particular home you are in...and remember, we all have a different journey...do not compare yourself to others, and don't think for a minute that most everyone else's life has turned out like we planned it ... that's rare! Sometimes we can only stand, and give thanks for where we are right now, and trust that things will get better. I hope you are feeling better by now...vent any time you need to here...you are (mostly anyway) among friends!
I think you need to stop comparing your life to other people's lifes. Not everybody's life is perfect or even necessarily better. And on facebook everybody exaggerates their life to make it appear as though they have fun.
Look at what you have not what you don't have. You have a loving family and a fiancee who loves you. That is so unique, not everybody has that luxury of strong love.
I think you should move closer to your fiance. There are plenty of travel options for your son and his father so it will only take a bit of organising for them to see eachother. I think if your more closer to your fiance you will have more support to help with the stress your going threw.
Unstability is a terrible feeling, i have been threw that so many times. I suggest saving on a consistant basis, even if its something small, just as long as its regular and you dont spend it. That savings will help you achieve some of the financial problems that you may be having.
Obviously I'm missing something here - or not? I hope if I'm a 64 year old ga-ga that a good friend will shoot me. I think Brenda has a problem as she seems to be responding to this post in another dimension.
Anyway, lifeislike, it's not all doom and gloom, it's just all about life and the way that it is. Life doesn't always go as you want or hope but as long as you can maintain a good sense of humor and roll with the punches then you can - as many, many do - roll with the punches and laugh about it. Don't allow your gloom and doom to affect your children.
You brought them into this world and you thus have an obligation to them. They need optimism to succeed whereas negativism in any way, shape or form will tear them down and either leave them on the streets or hanging at dead-end jobs. The dead-end jobs won't pay, they'll find other areas to make a living which are illegal. I wish you all the very best.
You could be living in a simple hut in the bush but strive to make things better for your kids. Up to you, sweetheart. Good luck!
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It also sounds like you really care about your kids and the children around for them to have for playmates!
