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Old 04-24-2010, 06:08 PM
 
25,947 posts, read 25,365,295 times
Reputation: 26653

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Quote:
Originally Posted by SeaOfGrass View Post
Caution: This has some vulgar language.


YouTube - Bill Burr 5 Minute stand-up.
Now this is some funny stuff - the parachutes OMG!!! LOL
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Old 04-24-2010, 06:30 PM
 
Location: So Cal
13,675 posts, read 9,778,725 times
Reputation: 11578
Quote:
Originally Posted by robee70 View Post
http://static.pyzam.com/img/funnypics/7/pyzamwanted.jpg

Yes... I know my humor's in the gutter today
You and Thursday both.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Thursday007 View Post
Now this is some funny stuff - the parachutes OMG!!! LOL
Hehe. I was hoping people would check out some of his other stuff. He's one of those comedians where almost every moment of their set is great, no "filler" stuff. He's one of our favorites.
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Old 04-24-2010, 06:40 PM
 
Location: On the dark side of the Moon
9,932 posts, read 11,673,967 times
Reputation: 9112
That was hilarious!!!

You want to go to Brunch? Want to go to Brunch on Sunday?
Great idea!
Why would you want to sleep in on a Sunday when you could go pay 52 dollars for eggs!
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Old 04-24-2010, 06:46 PM
 
Location: South FL
9,444 posts, read 14,739,143 times
Reputation: 8005
How are women and tornadoes alike?
They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they leave
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Old 04-24-2010, 06:47 PM
 
Location: South FL
9,444 posts, read 14,739,143 times
Reputation: 8005
Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast. ~Woody Allen


Don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone I love. ~Woody Allen
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Old 04-24-2010, 07:22 PM
 
Location: South FL
9,444 posts, read 14,739,143 times
Reputation: 8005
While making love, he says:
- Darling, let's do 68!
- 68??? What's that?
- You do it to me and I'll owe you one
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Old 04-24-2010, 07:25 PM
 
Location: South FL
9,444 posts, read 14,739,143 times
Reputation: 8005
A husband walks into the bedroom holding two aspirin and a glass of water. His wife asks, "What's that for?"

"It's for your headache."

"I don't have a headache."

He replies, "Gotcha
!"
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Old 04-24-2010, 07:25 PM
 
Location: So Cal
13,675 posts, read 9,778,725 times
Reputation: 11578
Quote:
Originally Posted by saucywench View Post
That was hilarious!!!

You want to go to Brunch? Want to go to Brunch on Sunday?
Great idea!
Why would you want to sleep in on a Sunday when you could go pay 52 dollars for eggs!
"Is that PESTO?! Is that PESTO in your omelette? Oh, it's ASPARAGUS! It's asparagus, everyone..."

As a woman, I have to agree with most of what he says. I like the "cherry picking" thing, too. "That's yucky. That's icky." Twists pigtails in her hair, "I'm just a girl..." LOL...

Quote:
Originally Posted by max's mama View Post
How are women and tornadoes alike?
They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they leave
LOL! Wait a minute... Just kidding.
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Old 04-24-2010, 07:32 PM
 
530 posts, read 651,019 times
Reputation: 432
A husband and wife decide they need a code word for sex so as to not corrupt thier young children so they decide on the code word "washing machine"
Later that evening the husband lovingly wraps his arms around his wife and gently whispers washing machine in her ear in his most sensual voice. His wife replies: I am tired and it is a small load anyway do it by hand!
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Old 04-24-2010, 07:47 PM
 
Location: Bradenton, Florida
27,236 posts, read 39,605,925 times
Reputation: 10890
Why is it that the only times people use the word commitment they're either talking about a relationship or a mental case?
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