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Old 04-19-2010, 12:04 PM
 
Location: NYC
2,171 posts, read 2,645,399 times
Reputation: 986
Quote:
Originally Posted by LaoTzuMindFu View Post
Again, I think a lot of it has to do with their friends and family and the TYPE that they are. I would NEVER EVER date the "yo yo yo", "Ya'll fenda", "I be .....", "Ya'll going over to Nece' and nem's house?", "Its yo birfday" or "You so molded" type black women. But I will date the Halle Berry, Naomi Campbell, Stacy Dash and Leona Lewis types. The ghetto type chicks are out, but again, that isnt because of their race its because of the type of people they are.

I dated a couple of black chicks in my adult life (well, I was technically still in my teens) and they were really cool. One was actually an immigrant who was half asian who moved here from Asia when she was about 20, the other was born and raise in South Central Los Angeles, but was far far far from the ghetto type I described above.
Good grief!!! There are lots of women who fall in between the ghetto chick and the actress types.

Maybe step onto a college campus???

I am a college instructor and I consider my black female students to be top notch and a fabulous catch for any man.

 
Old 04-19-2010, 12:07 PM
 
Location: SoCal - Sherman Oaks & Woodland Hills
12,980 posts, read 17,974,431 times
Reputation: 10491
Quote:
Originally Posted by queensgrl View Post
Good grief!!! There are lots of women who fall in between the ghetto chick and the actress types.

Maybe step onto a college campus???
I did that up at a little school in Palo Alto we like to call "The Farm".

Of course there werent any "Flavor Of Love" type ghetto black chicks there. But there were lots of really nice ones who had no problems dating men of any race.
 
Old 04-19-2010, 12:15 PM
 
Location: NYC
2,171 posts, read 2,645,399 times
Reputation: 986
^
Stanford ... OK, so you know what I'm talking about. Thank you for your comment. It would be helpful to hear more comments like yours. Maybe they'll help people to look beyond the stereotypes.
 
Old 04-19-2010, 12:34 PM
 
Location: Wherever women are
19,023 posts, read 13,533,234 times
Reputation: 11309
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shysister View Post
She's already saying that if his family isn't accepting of her she's not going to continue the relationship because it will not be a happy relationship if he has to go against his family in order to be with her. She's also concerned about having children with him. She doesn't care but she's seen first hand how children from interracial couples are treated so she has mixed feelings about that as well.

The Asian guy is a American born Asian but that still doesn't mean his family will accept her.
She's better off ending this relationship. It's good she's thinking sensibly. But she needs to find out if the family will accept. Who knows, they might and all's well that ends well.
 
Old 04-19-2010, 12:48 PM
 
Location: Wherever women are
19,023 posts, read 13,533,234 times
Reputation: 11309
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucario View Post
I don't think honesty is the right word here.......
It sure is honesty. You can't expect every society to indulge in political correctness and the average paranoia of the white guy that he fears being called a racist if he truly expresses his opinions. People religiously avoid words to not offend someone else. I last learned it's becoming offensive even to refer to black people as black people. They say "colored" or go in hunt for all sorts of PC terms. In my world, white is white, black is black. Noone cares or fears if they will get accused of racism. It also is boldness. If people want to call me half-untouchable (which I am), trust me, they will, like a finely lubricated mouth spouting out divisive rhetoric.

But I've had it both. My mother's side is of original Aryan origin. These are folks who descended directly from Vedic times, well versed in Sanskrit and have one million rules about races, castes and cleanliness

My friends are brahmins and ayyengars, and their parents frankly will admit any given day they still admitted me into their houses coz of my aryan half. But this was way back in the 80s when I was growing up in the hotbed of casteism in Southern India.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucario View Post
And it says a lot about you that you find this shyt just hunky dory...........
I don't like it. But then I don't protest either. I'm just indifferent, chuckle about it and let go. I can't change them and have no intention to. However, I have made my feelings public when the others happen to be those I know personally and socialize a lot. And I always get the "so what, these people don't understand hindi, sanskrit or tamil anyway"

At the very basis, American society is much better today. The white folks have gone a long way to repair their past. But it's not gonna happen in the rest of the world. The East has always been glued to its ways and it's part of their heritage. America on the other hand has no heritage or history, it's built on immigrants, so there is a chance people can revisit customs and change.
 
Old 04-19-2010, 01:12 PM
 
Location: Wherever women are
19,023 posts, read 13,533,234 times
Reputation: 11309
Quote:
Originally Posted by queensgrl View Post

Which is why when people say, "it's 2010, why is it such a big deal for black women to date interracially?" that they clearly don't understand how the type of racism described above would deter a black woman from dating non-black men.

Having been there, I can say how troubling it was to not feel loved and accepted by my bf's family and some of his friends.

Despite the fact that I presented as an attractive, educated and kind person from a good family, being black canceled all of that out. So when my dad made a gesture to introduce himself to his dad, and his dad said, I have nothing to say ... my dad was equally rejected and (understandably) became sour on the whole relationship and things were strained thereafter.

Yeah, its 2010 but this kind of stuff still goes on. I HOPE that people will one day be able to remove their BLINDERS about RACE and be able to see the PERSON. Stop allowing the media to define what someone is. We are all individuals (geez).
That's unfortunate. I'm sorry

But was your spouse a white person or an Asian?

Also, Asia is huge, we can't use one brush and paint all of Asia at once. The Koreans, Vietnamese, Cambodians, Burmese and the like are more likely to be very accepting of everything.

But when it comes to civilizations with an extensive heritage like India, China, Japan and the Middle Eastern states like Iran or Saudi, that's where trouble kicks in. Many would even know how Osama bin laden's deputy referred to Obama in his call to muslims across the middle east. He had the nerve to use the n-word on an elected world leader, and it's no surprise this man hails from Egypt, another society with rigid ideologies when it comes to darker skinned folks.

And Asians differentiate among themselves too. I went to Dubai and while scouting around I was referred to as a Third Country national (TCN) or just dhimmi (that also has a religious undertone to it)

It may be 2010, but tradition is still tradition. The reason the US is changing and becoming more progressive is that America does not have any cultural or traditional fabric. It was built by immigrants.
 
Old 04-19-2010, 04:42 PM
 
10,433 posts, read 6,990,008 times
Reputation: 15436
I don't really get why people think interracial couples are so different. It's two people, perhaps from different backgrounds, who managed to find some common ground to stand on.

Sure there are cultural differences, but you work through them - just like anything else. Thinking that same-race couples have it easier is just plain ignorance.

The difficulty level of a relationship is often based on the individuals involved. You can make it easier if you so choose.
 
Old 04-19-2010, 05:02 PM
 
Location: Back in the gym...Yo Adrian!
8,858 posts, read 10,706,279 times
Reputation: 16366
Never had any issues, dated Latin, Black, Asian, Native American, and my experiences were no different than girls I dated of my own race.
 
Old 04-19-2010, 05:04 PM
 
Location: SoCal - Sherman Oaks & Woodland Hills
12,980 posts, read 17,974,431 times
Reputation: 10491
Quote:
Originally Posted by Coolhand68 View Post
Never had any issues, dated Latin, Black, Asian, Native American, and my experiences were no different than girls I dated of my own race.
Thats pretty much how things went for me as well.
 
Old 04-19-2010, 05:37 PM
 
Location: NYC
2,171 posts, read 2,645,399 times
Reputation: 986
In response to the questions from Antlered Chamataka:That's unfortunate. I'm sorry

But was your spouse a white person or an Asian?

I am a black American. My boyfriend of four years was a
white American.

Also, Asia is huge, we can't use one brush and paint all of Asia at once. The Koreans, Vietnamese, Cambodians, Burmese and the like are more likely to be very accepting of everything.

Interesting. I have a former co-worker who is 1/2 Chinese and 1/2 Vietnamese whose mother would tell her to stay out of the sun to avoid looking Cambodian!!!

But when it comes to civilizations with an extensive heritage like India, China, Japan and the Middle Eastern states like Iran or Saudi, that's where trouble kicks in. Many would even know how Osama bin laden's deputy referred to Obama in his call to muslims across the middle east. He had the nerve to use the n-word on an elected world leader, and it's no surprise this man hails from Egypt, another society with rigid ideologies when it comes to darker skinned folks.

This goes back to my earlier comment about people's perceptions of black people. How is it that groups of people halfway around the world who don't know one black American snap to judgment about us? President Obama is as polished and intelligent as any other American politician. What gives?

And Asians differentiate among themselves too. I went to Dubai and while scouting around I was referred to as a Third Country national (TCN) or just dhimmi (that also has a religious undertone to it)

It may be 2010, but tradition is still tradition. The reason the US is changing and becoming more progressive is that America does not have any cultural or traditional fabric. It was built by immigrants.
And a few slaves

Last edited by queensgrl; 04-19-2010 at 06:36 PM.. Reason: extra
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