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Old 04-19-2010, 10:56 AM
 
Location: San Diego
2,847 posts, read 6,064,421 times
Reputation: 1955

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Ok so my girlfriend and I broke up last week. We were togther for about 18 months. Things were well for about the first year. Our living situations when we first met both sucked and it made sense for both of us to move it together. I wasn't really use to having a girl at home all the time. She caught me looking at porn a few times which is a massive issue she has. I told I'd stop but I didn't so she called me a liar and thats when things kinda went south. I ended up getting my own place a year into the relationship and she moved in with me but we were fighting alot. So about 3 months ago, we decided it would be best if she moved out since we were fighting so much. We both have alot of stress finanically and jobwise, hers is alot worse than mine but I feel like we caused each other more stress than help each other. The last month or so, she has been very distant and pretty much rude. She said thats how I use to be which is true but I asked her to at least make an efford to stop being rude but she said shes not going too right now. So, I told her we should break up since I'm not happy. Its been about a week now and I'm kinda thinking I'm being selfish. She has been through alot; family passing, getting sued, and job issues.

We have been extremely civil with each other when we do communicate but we do not talk or text nearly as much since last week. She still needs to pick up some stuff at my place. I feel like I should put more of an effort since she did put up with me when I was going thru alot in the beginning of the relationship. She wanted me to make a long term commitment about a year into it and I couldn't do it then but I can now. I just feel like I should try harder but I'm not sure if I should or if its too late.

Help? If I am rambling, sorry and let me know if I need to clarify anything!
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Old 04-19-2010, 11:01 AM
 
Location: Whiteville Tennessee
8,262 posts, read 15,709,531 times
Reputation: 9992
Sounds to me like this is a good time for both of you to work on getting your lives in order. Finances, communication skills, etc. Worry about getting back together when you both have more positives to bring to the relationship.
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Old 04-19-2010, 11:02 AM
 
Location: Tennessee
16,227 posts, read 21,596,901 times
Reputation: 23990
It sounds to me like there still may be something there, that the two of you could work on, but you are both going to have to work, it cannot be one or the other.
Have you tried to sit her down and tell her how you feel? If not, then maybe its time that you did. It could be your last chance to save this relationship. It could be sort of like a new beginning.
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Old 04-19-2010, 11:50 AM
 
28,906 posts, read 44,217,924 times
Reputation: 45703
To me, the fact that you two are always arguing says everything I need to know. A nice clean break is called for.
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Old 04-19-2010, 12:49 PM
 
Location: Way up high
14,062 posts, read 19,685,144 times
Reputation: 14269
Take a break and see how it goes. You can't force anything
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Old 04-19-2010, 12:51 PM
 
Location: NW Indiana
38,793 posts, read 13,957,354 times
Reputation: 97509
Communication, communication, communication. I agree that you should sit down with her and tell her how you feel. Tell her what you've told your C-D audience. And really listen to what she has to say as well. If there are no sparks of understanding, then perhaps it is time to go your separate ways. It sounds as though you each need to work on getting your life in order. I agree with Capt. Dan, that you should maybe wait until you both have more positives to bring to the table.

I think a lot depends on your age as well. If you are very young, then perhaps you both need to spread your wings for a while and date some other people before thinking about committing to each other. Just a thought.

Good luck to you.
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Old 04-19-2010, 12:53 PM
 
Location: Wherever women are
19,022 posts, read 24,140,685 times
Reputation: 11309
Any guy who gets caught watching porn is dumb
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Old 04-19-2010, 01:16 PM
 
Location: The cupboard under the sink
3,862 posts, read 7,053,273 times
Reputation: 7387
Unless he's lucky to have a decent girlfriend and can say "wow, check this out hon !!"

Quote:
Originally Posted by Antlered Chamataka View Post
Any guy who gets caught watching porn is dumb
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Old 04-19-2010, 01:48 PM
 
Location: NW Indiana
38,793 posts, read 13,957,354 times
Reputation: 97509
Quote:
Originally Posted by bobman View Post
Unless he's lucky to have a decent girlfriend and can say "wow, check this out hon !!"
What he said ^ ! Not all women have a problem with this.
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Old 04-19-2010, 01:49 PM
 
Location: Wherever women are
19,022 posts, read 24,140,685 times
Reputation: 11309
But, jokes apart, guys who are clueless about hiding porn and manipulating their computers are seriously illiterate and do not deserve to operate one.

If the computer had a couple of eyes, it would cry for a better user
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