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Location: formerly Gillette, WY now Sacramento, CA
203 posts, read 712,571 times
Reputation: 93
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I agree with having prenups especially if one spouse is well established in their business, investments, or older with children.
In my profession, men/women can get screwed without prenups. You will have to pay the spouse half of the value of your practice even if they never step foot in there.
I don't think that people want prenups because they know they will skip out on you ( not saying that doesn't happen ) but more to protect what they have before the spouse came. The spouse should not be entitled to what you had before you married and if presented with an obviously one-sided agreement have the piece of mind to negotiate a better deal.
I didn't have a prenup when I got married because my husband and I had nothing of real value outside a couple houses when we got married, but if we were to get divorce and remarry other people I would consider it.
I find that hard to believe. If you have the business savvy to make bucketloads of money then you certainly have the smarts to figure out who is a golddigger. Surely men can judge a character.
Not if they're thinking with their little head. If she's pretty enough, they'll buy anything.
UHHH! Then how does it happen so often? Listen I"m only trying to protect what I earned before the marriage that's all no grand scheme not trying to take from anyone.
I understand that.
When you decide to marry you are choosing someone for more than their looks, you are choosing them because they reflect your values and they have integrity.
When my first husband and I divorced we both took what we had prior to the marriage, split the rest and decided we would behave like adults and share custody of our children. We didn't need a pre-nup because we both had the same views on these things.
I know you can't predict whether a divorce will go badly or not unfortunately and I do think that if you have substantial investment that it is prudent to cover your own butt, but it's sad that people who once loved one another stoop to such greed and meanness.
This is precisely what I am wanting. I'm not wanting the prenup to take anything away from the marriage, I want it to protect what I have earned before I come into the marriage. AS far as I"m concerned everything obtained during the marriage is or should be evenly split.
So again, I would present the idea in this manner. You'd like to draft a prenup to cover both you. Each retains ownership and liability (you don't want all her bills) we come into the marriage with and everything acquired during the marriage is split 50-50." Honestly, I don't see that as unfair or illogical at all.
Or you just get married and divorced in a no-fault state like California and it's 50/50 down the middle no matter what the reason is. Take a musician for example. He divorces his wife she gets nothing from the albums he produced prior to marriage but during the marriage she would collect royalities for the rest of her life off the songs generated during their marriage. Take Bob Dylan for example, his first wife got royalities for their community property which included the song "Like A Rolling Stone." Everytime it is played in concert, sold on a CD or download or put in a commercial she still, after all these years, gets royalities based on their divorce.
I'm not married nor am I currently involved. But I began to wonder how to go about asking my future Ms.Ryan that she will need to sign a prenuptial.
I've heard over the years the pros and cons to the subject and realized it is something I will definitely have to get done before tying the knot.
Problem is I have no idea how to go about approaching this w/ her. How do I respond to her questions/queries?
I know many women would say well your damning the Marriage before it begins, but in my eyes it simply protecting both of us in the event it were to take place.
Also read the comments. Two lawyers chimed in with their thoughts and several of us have already posted our past history on how to go about broaching the subject.
UHHH! Then how does it happen so often? Listen I"m only trying to protect what I earned before the marriage that's all no grand scheme not trying to take from anyone.
Then don't make what you bring into the marriage a marrital asset. Don't mix money. Keep what you bring into the marriage in a separate account and don't deposit a dime to it during the marriage. Open new, joint accounts when you're married. Check with a lawyer but I believe anything you come into a marriage with that is never put in both names isn't a marital asset.
When you decide to marry you are choosing someone for more than their looks, you are choosing them because they reflect your values and they have integrity.
When my first husband and I divorced we both took what we had prior to the marriage, split the rest and decided we would behave like adults and share custody of our children. We didn't need a pre-nup because we both had the same views on these things.
I know you can't predict whether a divorce will go badly or not unfortunately and I do think that if you have substantial investment that it is prudent to cover your own butt, but it's sad that people who once loved one another stoop to such greed and meanness.
I'm willing to bet u never thought you'd end up Divorced either did you?
But fact is your marriage failed as so many do and there is no way anyone can see if it's coming or not, the only thing we can do is try to make the process a lot more tolerable, and affordable.
In most cases it's the Atty's that drag these things out which ultimately cost the couples a heck of a lot more money in the long run.
What you and your husband did should be the example, but we know better than that now don't we? If everyone could do what you guys did or at least agree to it at the start of the marriage then we would never need Atty's and things would bode a lot better for everyone involved especially the children.
Then don't make what you bring into the marriage a marrital asset. Don't mix money. Keep what you bring into the marriage in a separate account and don't deposit a dime to it during the marriage. Open new, joint accounts when you're married. Check with a lawyer but I believe anything you come into a marriage with that is never put in both names isn't a marital asset.
No not the case. When dealing w/ larger sums of money if it's not spelled out before hand even if it's kept separately the ex can make a case that since you didn't separate your finances in writing that you intended for all your assets to be joined at marriage etc. Also unless otherwise spelled out that way I'd be paying money to defend my money.
What I don't want to do and I'm not sure of is divulging to an Atty the dollar amt of what I'm trying to protect. I don't see why the Dollar amt would matter, I do know one Atty I spoke to was so darn interested in how much I had that I quickly walked out the door, cause I new he was going to base what he was going to charge me off the amt of money he felt he was protecting for me, and that is just not right in my book.
If I have $5 or $5million the paper work should cost the same.
I guess this is why Lawyers are considered one of the most hated and least respected careers in the U.S.
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