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I've been in a relationship for 2.8 years now. He moved in with me about a year ago. Things were going great between us until 3 months after he moved in he lost his good paying job. He did not get unemployment. So I took over his car, insurance, and credit card payments. I took on two more part time jobs in addition to my full time teaching job. I never saw him looking for work. I'd come home and he had not showered or he would go to the gym, he was on facebook. Nothing was done in the house. I finally had it about 3 months into this so I spoke to him and we agreed we would share the cleaning responsibilities. I do bathrooms, laundry and vacuum and he cleans the kitchen, trash and the tile. I did my chores but he did not. I would come home and be asked what was for dinner when he was home the whole day. We started fighting more. He never wanted to do anything with my family or friends. He would complain that I would not hang out with him and watch TV when all I wanted to do was go to bed. I would get annoyed when he would ask for money to go catch a movie since we were on a budget now to make all the payments and I had no money to spend on myself even though i was working 60+ hrs. a week. I don;t know if I should have been annoyed at him for that but I was. We would fight over the electricity bill $400 for the summer since it was running all the time. Then it was the $140 heating bill. We fight over money all the time. I would give him job leads and he would not do anything. I finally got him a job, 6 months later, with me working Saturdays, and twice during the week. Then he gets mad at me because I wont call the company to ask when he is starting ,I had already started working, how is that my responsibility. I got mad and we got into a huge fight. Then i get him a start date after asking several times, I feel like I'm annoying the manager. He says great I'm glad you came through for me thought you didn't care. Was i right to be pissed off at that comment? We haven't had sex in forever. Since he lost his job maybe 5 times. Last time was in Feb. He doesn't kiss me, just hugs. Uses the excuse that he hasn't brushed his teeth. I try to start things and he pushes me away. I cry all the time. I feel likes its over. I feel horrible. I never thought I would be in a relationship were there is no intimacy. We don't sleep in the same bed anymore. He used the excuse that I snore. Didn't bother him before. So I got so mad that after three months I moved all his clothes to the other bedroom. He still showers in the master bath. He says he loves me. I don't know what to do. He's always mad at me and I'm only home from 8pm till I go to bed and from 6am when I get to 8 am when I go to work. He looks at me with this look of disgust. I don't know what to do. This is stressing me out to much. Any advise would be helpful. And no I don't think he is cheating, he has no money to go anywhere. He was married before wife cheated on him. Yes after one year of our relationship he went out to lunch with a girl he meet on myspace, I saw a message from her on his account. He said he just wanted to meet he. Boy am I stupid.
He's just using you! He tells you he loves you so he can continue manipulating you. Don't beleive a word he says. Kick him out. You guys are not even married, you shouldn't have to pay his way in life. He won't have sex with you cause he's probably gay or something. Get rid of him if you want to find a better man.
From a mans poing of view it seems he's enjoying life at your expense and has no intention what so ever of finding a new job while you are paying the bills and giving him free rent.
You no longer have a boyfreind, you have a squatter living in your house, and getting him out could be difficult.
This dirt bag cares NOTHING about you.
He has found a gullable Sugar Momma to take care of him and he treats you like a person with no other purpose in life than to beckon to his every need and let him sit around on his butt and never have to put forth any effort to be a real man.
And he damn sure aint one and probably never will be.
Kick his worthless arse out and forget him. This kind of male is a waste of oxygen and all he will ever do is take and never give.
And yes, I am a male that is typing this. But I am also a man.
He will never work a job for 30 years and retire from that job. He won't raise kids or be married to the same woman for decades or own a home for them to comfortably live in.
I've done these things and accepted the responsiblility of taking care of family with hard work and doing the most I can for the ones I love.
That is what a man does. You are living with a leech. A sponge.
And if you continue to do so then yes, like you said, you are stupid.
Don't worry about hurting his feelings. You can't hurt the feelings of someome who has no feelings for others.
Get rid of him and move on to a better life and don't let any man use you for a door mat again.
BTW, there are still some good men in this world. Don't judge all men by this scumbag.
Save what? The only thing you should be saving is yourself.... your self-respect, dignity and your hard-earned money.
Like others have said he is a user, get rid of him.
PS - He won't let you (aka free-ride) get rid of him that easily and you'll suddenly find him romancing you, cleaning the house & whispering sweet-nothin's. Don't buy it, it will be short-lived, IMO.
I've been in a relationship for 2.8 years now. He moved in with me about a year ago. Things were going great between us until 3 months after he moved in he lost his good paying job. He did not get unemployment. So I took over his car, insurance, and credit card payments. I took on two more part time jobs in addition to my full time teaching job. I never saw him looking for work. I'd come home and he had not showered or he would go to the gym, he was on facebook. Nothing was done in the house. I finally had it about 3 months into this so I spoke to him and we agreed we would share the cleaning responsibilities. I do bathrooms, laundry and vacuum and he cleans the kitchen, trash and the tile. I did my chores but he did not. I would come home and be asked what was for dinner when he was home the whole day. We started fighting more. He never wanted to do anything with my family or friends. He would complain that I would not hang out with him and watch TV when all I wanted to do was go to bed. I would get annoyed when he would ask for money to go catch a movie since we were on a budget now to make all the payments and I had no money to spend on myself even though i was working 60+ hrs. a week. I don;t know if I should have been annoyed at him for that but I was. We would fight over the electricity bill $400 for the summer since it was running all the time. Then it was the $140 heating bill. We fight over money all the time. I would give him job leads and he would not do anything. I finally got him a job, 6 months later, with me working Saturdays, and twice during the week. Then he gets mad at me because I wont call the company to ask when he is starting ,I had already started working, how is that my responsibility. I got mad and we got into a huge fight. Then i get him a start date after asking several times, I feel like I'm annoying the manager. He says great I'm glad you came through for me thought you didn't care. Was i right to be pissed off at that comment? We haven't had sex in forever. Since he lost his job maybe 5 times. Last time was in Feb. He doesn't kiss me, just hugs. Uses the excuse that he hasn't brushed his teeth. I try to start things and he pushes me away. I cry all the time. I feel likes its over. I feel horrible. I never thought I would be in a relationship were there is no intimacy. We don't sleep in the same bed anymore. He used the excuse that I snore. Didn't bother him before. So I got so mad that after three months I moved all his clothes to the other bedroom. He still showers in the master bath. He says he loves me. I don't know what to do. He's always mad at me and I'm only home from 8pm till I go to bed and from 6am when I get to 8 am when I go to work. He looks at me with this look of disgust. I don't know what to do. This is stressing me out to much. Any advise would be helpful. And no I don't think he is cheating, he has no money to go anywhere. He was married before wife cheated on him. Yes after one year of our relationship he went out to lunch with a girl he meet on myspace, I saw a message from her on his account. He said he just wanted to meet he. Boy am I stupid.
Dump his a s s!!!!!! The guy is using you as a sugar momma. I'm a guy - I know what I'm talking about. I can't believe you stuck it out with him for 3 months.
Love to him = you cook, clean, bring home the bacon, get no sleep. In turn he rewards you with watching TV, surfs the net, talking to other chicks, spending your money, eating your food, and then gets verbal and non-verbal with you in a non-intimate way.
Sorry, but I'd throw him out the door.
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