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Wow a lot to think about. I thought you dated to see if you liked a person past the intitial attraction. I like him, maybe I moved faster than I was emotionally equipped to handle. Thinking it over I would have like to continue dating him and see where it went. So maybe I wasn't as honest with myself as I thought.
Constructive critizism well taken..........truly did not set out to be a "cougar" my kids are far to important to me to get a reputation............guess I will go back into my cave, safer there ......I get the "on my terms" but he implied he wanted the same........so I will assume that he got what he wanted and moved on........doesn't matter what he said his actions spoke for him. Thanks for putting me in my place
U won't be able to live life in your cave. Welcome to life in the single lane. It is a hard adjustment especially when u have other obligations. Just know this too shall pass. I think your have to be completely out of one relationship before u can make the best decision about another one. Give yourself and your children enough time to adjust to all the changes that have taken place in your life. When u r ready then u r in a much better position to evaluate men and weigh the pros and cons of getting involved. U r the one in control because u can see more clearly beyond emotions and hormones. Maybe the next time u will come across some guy who desires the things u desire. My heart goes out to u. Be strong
. . . . why would I assume he wanted to "bang" me for the shear fact I am a woman? I do have a brain, I was married/with the same man for 17 years so I have been out of the dating loop. Just came here for insight........
here's more insight. . . an attractive older woman can be quite a magnet to some guys almost as much so as an attractive younger woman. Freud likely could explain -- more than just variety involved. . . an older woman can be strangely comforting.
If you can honestly come to grips as to what you personally desire; a hot younger guy for some uncommitted laughs, giggles and whatever or a compatible guy for a long-term second run, it'd make dating easier. Problem is many of us have stages of wanting both. And regardless of what one chooses, it's always a let-down to feel suddenly undesired. You get many more chances though!
I am older and very married... So the question is what is the definition of a cougar?
The only kind I know of, have 4 feet and live in the wild.. They tend to be around 9 feet long and about 1/2 that is tail. I met one once on a neighbors enclosed porch, and hope that never happens again.
I sure hope nothing happens to my wife, since dating again would be very strange.
I am older and very married... So the question is what is the definition of a cougar?
The only kind I know of, have 4 feet and live in the wild.. They tend to be around 9 feet long and about 1/2 that is tail. I met one once on a neighbors enclosed porch, and hope that never happens again.
I sure hope nothing happens to my wife, since dating again would be very strange.
OMG.........lol.......thank you for making me laugh..........I had to get out of my marriage as it was destroying me but dating is very scary. Although I have only gone out with the one guy, I've been asked just turned them down, for various reasons. All I know is this guy broke through my barrier or wall I had up with a great smile and full of life attitude.
Its nice to hear you are happily married maybe I will get lucky some day in my next phase of life.......I really don't have a desire to be a "cougar" here is the definition from urbandictionary.com
An attractive woman in her 30's or 40's who is on the hunt once again. She may be found in the usual hunting grounds: nightclubs, bars, beaches, etc. She will not play the usual B.S. games that women in their early twenties participate in. End state, she will be going for the kill, just like you
I swore after the 1st I would neva' git hitched again, but it seems i was wrong.
A lot of this dating game has changed even since then. All the terms are strange to me like cougars, mouth breathers, and what ever else I hear.
I do know that these days finding a true and loyal mate is next to impossible.
I do some pretty unusual things, like be a living historian, that took to the life stlye a bit deeper maybe than I should. An example is I am fiercely independant, and have woodland living skills like starting a fire for cooking with nothing store bought. 2 sticks, see?
I make a lot of what I need and other mere wants. This covers clothing, tools and just pretty things to me that I want. An example there is if i want a new knife I will make it. I can't say I need a new knife because that comes under wants. I sold a mess of them too, so I guess I am good at it as an art form, besides being usefull.
My 2nd wife 'discovered' me doing these things at living history events. I guess I was tanned up , and about 1/2 naked so she got to check out the 'goods' from a distance. I wasn't advertizing any. So as it turned out she and I had a lot in common, before we knew one another.
I doubt I could get that lucky again if anything happened to her, so I treat her good, and am ready to go live on the backside of the Brooks Range in Alasaka, if something does. Modern man is a strange creature with really odd wants, and is very confused it seems to me as to what real needs are. Then again what in blue blazes do I know?
This is because I guess I wasn't born an accountant. $$$$ are not with in my grasp for needs. $$$ are a tool, but I like other tools better, the ones that solve needs.
I know I know action speaks louder than words, but why the words? I'm just curious? He just got out of a 5 year relationship me just out of a 17 year. He is younger and I never would have gone there but he really pursued. I made it clear I wasn't looking for anything serious I don't have time... 2 kids, a full time job and I'm in the middle of a nasty divorce, but......I didn't expect to be dropped. I was warned by a friend he wasn't looking for anything serious so I thought we were on the same page. I am attractive I know this because I have been asked out more lately than 17 years ago when I was single. I look a lot younger than I am, I am in good shape give or take 10 lbs. He is really good looking and can get any girl he wants, why me? I know there is no one else, he has been just living life so to speak playing sports and going out with friends.
So why would he say things to me like future talk? Was he that intent on getting some from me.......needless to say I am not that experienced so maybe it was a disappointment to him.
Any thoughts.......I really could use advise before I end up making the same mistake twice......Also he is the only guy I have gone out with since I left my husband 15 months ago.
You offered and he took, it's as simple as that. Don't blame him - takers need a giver.
That said, understand that you are still green to the dating world. You will have several stops and starts over time, go easy on yourself. It may take a few more years before you really feel good and well settled. It's ok, don't feel you should be able to snap your fingers and make sense of everything.
Ok I am older than 41 BTW............and my looks may expire like an old jar of mayo but what does that matter? He just left a 5 year relationship and I am POSITIVE he wasn't a cheater. That being said why would I assume he wanted to "bang" me for the shear fact I am a woman? I do have a brain, I was married/with the same man for 17 years so I have been out of the dating loop. Just came here for insight........
It's called taking a cheap shot under the guise of being helpful. As an over 30 female poster you will see this often on this board. Take it for exactly the meaningless hateration it is and brush it off your shoulder. As for the guy he could have a number of reasons for talking about tomorrow. Don't get excited about talk. I wouldn't start thinking about having a guy around regularly for at least 30-60 days. All the while keep dating others as well. That's an important part of keeping it casual. Your next meeting with this personn is not promised so have fun with lots of cool guys until you think you have found one you want around on the regular.
Last edited by Ticatica; 04-21-2010 at 01:38 PM..
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almost as much so as an attractive younger woman. Freud likely could explain -- more than just variety involved. . . an older woman can be strangely comforting.
