He didn't seem like a player..... (dating, women, single, husband)

[Etain2]

I know I know action speaks louder than words, but why the words? I'm just curious? He just got out of a 5 year relationship me just out of a 17 year. He is younger and I never would have gone there but he really pursued. I made it clear I wasn't looking for anything serious I don't have time... 2 kids, a full time job and I'm in the middle of a nasty divorce, but......I didn't expect to be dropped. I was warned by a friend he wasn't looking for anything serious so I thought we were on the same page. I am attractive I know this because I have been asked out more lately than 17 years ago when I was single. I look a lot younger than I am, I am in good shape give or take 10 lbs. He is really good looking and can get any girl he wants, why me? I know there is no one else, he has been just living life so to speak playing sports and going out with friends.
So why would he say things to me like future talk? Was he that intent on getting some from me.......needless to say I am not that experienced so maybe it was a disappointment to him.
Any thoughts.......I really could use advise before I end up making the same mistake twice......Also he is the only guy I have gone out with since I left my husband 15 months ago.

[Thursday007]

He didn't seem like a player.....

They never do.

[Mr.Cat]

The way I see it: He sees you, attractive, one kid, single. Only one thing on his mind. Guess what it is?

[JustJulia]

Originally Posted by Etain2

I know I know action speaks louder than words, but why the words? I'm just curious? He just got out of a 5 year relationship me just out of a 17 year. He is younger and I never would have gone there but he really pursued. I made it clear I wasn't looking for anything serious I don't have time... 2 kids, a full time job and I'm in the middle of a nasty divorce, but......I didn't expect to be dropped. I was warned by a friend he wasn't looking for anything serious so I thought we were on the same page. I am attractive I know this because I have been asked out more lately than 17 years ago when I was single. I look a lot younger than I am, I am in good shape give or take 10 lbs. He is really good looking and can get any girl he wants, why me? I know there is no one else, he has been just living life so to speak playing sports and going out with friends.
So why would he say things to me like future talk? Was he that intent on getting some from me.......needless to say I am not that experienced so maybe it was a disappointment to him.
Any thoughts.......I really could use advise before I end up making the same mistake twice......Also he is the only guy I have gone out with since I left my husband 15 months ago.

I don't understand. You weren't looking for anything serious, he wasn't looking for anything serious ... that is playing. What happened?

[Ep-]

why you? maybe he likes you :P

[SVTLightning]

Another reason men will never understand women lol

You didn't want anything serious, you heard he didn't want anything serious, then when it's over you think you got played? Really? What were you expecting?

[Etain2]

I thought "dating" someone is not getting serious....that is what I was expecting.........we could date, spend time together when possible..........That's what I meant.

[Nutz76]

Originally Posted by Etain2

I know I know action speaks louder than words, but why the words? I'm just curious? He just got out of a 5 year relationship me just out of a 17 year. He is younger and I never would have gone there but he really pursued. I made it clear I wasn't looking for anything serious I don't have time... 2 kids, a full time job and I'm in the middle of a nasty divorce, but......I didn't expect to be dropped. I was warned by a friend he wasn't looking for anything serious so I thought we were on the same page. I am attractive I know this because I have been asked out more lately than 17 years ago when I was single. I look a lot younger than I am, I am in good shape give or take 10 lbs. He is really good looking and can get any girl he wants, why me? I know there is no one else, he has been just living life so to speak playing sports and going out with friends.
So why would he say things to me like future talk? Was he that intent on getting some from me.......needless to say I am not that experienced so maybe it was a disappointment to him.
Any thoughts.......I really could use advise before I end up making the same mistake twice......Also he is the only guy I have gone out with since I left my husband 15 months ago.

For starters, why are you complaining? He didn't want anything serious, and neither did you. In the grand scheme of things you both got what you wanted. As for getting pumped & dumped, you can thank the "cougar" trend for this one. He saw an aging single mother up for no strings attached sex (by your own admission) and jumped at the opportunity. If anything you've just reinforced the perception of cougars as easy lays.

I've been warning women about this sort of thing, and it's going to get worse the more women embrace "cougardom", but nobody wanted to believe me.

[SVTLightning]

Originally Posted by Etain2

I thought "dating" someone is not getting serious....that is what I was expecting.........we could date, spend time together when possible..........That's what I meant.

So isnt that what happened? how were you played then if it wasnt serious?


So he got tired of the situation with you, or he did get serious with someone else.

Not everyone you date will want to date you only on your terms, or as long as you want. he moved on, it wasnt serious to begin with as per your own admission. No one was played in my opinion.

[Etain2]

Constructive critizism well taken..........truly did not set out to be a "cougar" my kids are far to important to me to get a reputation............guess I will go back into my cave, safer there ......I get the "on my terms" but he implied he wanted the same........so I will assume that he got what he wanted and moved on........doesn't matter what he said his actions spoke for him. Thanks for putting me in my place