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Old 04-26-2010, 10:07 PM
 
18,300 posts, read 17,669,066 times
Reputation: 18377

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Quote:
Originally Posted by revelated View Post
I swear, one day I'm going to do a study on this trend of selective reading that people do. I just don't understand it.

Let's try this again since you ignored it:



Now, do you see the bolded line?
I ignored nothing. It's crystal clear that you completely missed my point.
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Old 04-26-2010, 10:10 PM
 
2,139 posts, read 3,209,619 times
Reputation: 1478
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChessieMom View Post
I ignored nothing. It's crystal clear that you completely missed my point.
Your point was "I make the decisions and my men are ok with that".

Which is basically an understanding between the two of you - the exception that I noted. My original post was geared towards lazy bastids who just don't want to do anything to contribute and would rather leave it to their female.

No...I got the point. You just didn't read everything I wrote.
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Old 04-26-2010, 10:32 PM
 
18,300 posts, read 17,669,066 times
Reputation: 18377
Quote:
Originally Posted by revelated View Post
Your point was "I make the decisions and my men are ok with that".

Which is basically an understanding between the two of you - the exception that I noted. My original post was geared towards lazy bastids who just don't want to do anything to contribute and would rather leave it to their female.

No...I got the point. You just didn't read everything I wrote.
Nope. That was NOT my point. I was only commenting, specifically, on your two examples which made it sound like women, in general, don't have the knowledge to make those particular decisions. Maybe it was just the way it was worded and I misinterpreted your meaning. But those 2 things, specifically, are ALWAYS things that I wind up doing, in my relationships. That's why they struck me as funny...both very atypical in my world.
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Old 04-27-2010, 07:26 AM
 
Location: Amarillo, Tx
622 posts, read 720,953 times
Reputation: 650
I also think that one of the factors that comes into play here is options. Lets face not everyone is blessed with the same options. Some men/women just simply have more options than others. If your a guy that maybe doesnt have tons of women to chose from and you meet a great single mom then you should/would probably hang on to her if she is a special person to you.

Thats not to say that single mom are in some way second best they arent. You would probably find a great wife in one. They more than likely have been married before or at least in a long term relationship. They have made mistakes and may appreciate you just treating her well. That being said some guys have lots of options. They dont have to prey on single moms for sex. The can date women in a wide age range. So they can be a little more selective.

ANd I think that some of the guys on here are just trying to say that all things being equal they would greatly prefer to date childless women. Its not a personal attack on single moms like some on here are percieving it. Its not the women. Its their situation. It gets very old having to interact with someone that was married to your wife/gf for 10 years. I think as you age this probably becomes less of an issue. My parents age group doenst seem to mind it as much. But when your a younger guy its just not that cool. I know there are exceptions. I think that a lot of Beta type males are more likely to put up with that situation. But they still dont like it.
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Old 04-27-2010, 08:58 AM
 
Location: Homeless
1,203 posts, read 1,099,003 times
Reputation: 510
Quote:
Originally Posted by interscope2000 View Post
Sadly, I just exited one of these relationships, not because of my ex (well, not totally,) but because there is too much drama.

First, we will never understand what you are feeling about your child, nor will we ever feel the same about your seed.

Second, we don't want to deal with baby-mama or daddy drama - what that means is ever seeing, talking to or ever hearing their voice.

Thirdly, Why would ANYONE ever want to be second, third, etc.

Fourth, we know why you want to date us singles...for the reason listed above, so why not just stick to your own kind.

Fifth, we can't discipline or have a say in how much you spend on your ex/child, so what do you think is the great appeal about you...unless you are a model?

Sixth, if we ever married, you wad is blown on your previous kids, so?

Elighten me as to what the appeal is?

I imagine only single parent will respond will respond with "selffish" but that's not is, it's called doing it right the first time.
Nothing wrong with a single childless person not wanting to date people with kids.
Just a preference.

I would change the title to some.


i would date a single parent as long as we did not get too serious and as long as they did not want me to meet their child.

I actually do like children but do not want to raise any.
And kids do get attached sometimes.
My older nieces and nephews and cousins still remember and ask about a couple of my ex ladies to this day.
Not an easy conversation to have when a kid asks you why 'such and such' is not around.
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Old 04-27-2010, 09:03 AM
 
Location: Homeless
1,203 posts, read 1,099,003 times
Reputation: 510
Quote:
Originally Posted by bobman View Post
I'm not saying I won't date a single mom, but there are a few reasons why I would be likely not to get involved.
My g/f agrees, and says she probably wouldn't have got involved if my son had lived with me.

1. I don't like kids. I know I have a son, but that wasn't my choice, I was trapped by my ex. I've tried to make the most of it, but I'm not a natural parent. I wasn't ready, and, as such, probably could've been a better dad.

2 I like to go where I want, and do what I want, when I want. I can't be bothered arranging for sitters etc, I like to be impulsive. not have every trip require military planning. Yes, it's selfish, but I like to enjoy myself. Life is for living.

3. As the new guy, you always play second fiddle to the kids. As has been pointed out, parents have enough difficulty agreeing on things like discipline, how hard is it for a step-parent ? Look how many people on the "would you give your life" thread said they'd give their life for their kids, but not their spouse. That's not what I want from someone, especially if it's not my child.

4. I agree with the OP on some points. First, we will likely NEVER feel the same about your child. It's not ours, and our instincts tell us it's a threat to our genes. we will not have the same attachment.
And, you can't make us like them, if they're spoilt, they're spoilt. Just because they're your little precious, doesn't mean they're ours.

Maybe the single parents I've dated in the past were just bad examples, but they certainly seemed to have some sense of "entitlement".

Don't get me wrong, I'm not a single mom hater, things happen, and lives change, don't I just know that ! But, a lot of folks just don't want to get involved.

The same reasons I don't feel ready to have any more children of my own, are the same reasons why I don't want to get involved with someone whose kids live with them.
I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels like this, and these threads dealing with the issue show that.

It doesn't make me, or the others a bad person, as some seem to think, we like what we like, and that's it.
Bobman, if my DNA test would have turned out different, my post would have matched yours almost word for word.

i am a great uncle but I would seriously FAIL MISERABLY as a father.
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Old 04-28-2010, 09:40 AM
 
930 posts, read 1,547,363 times
Reputation: 963
Quote:
Originally Posted by nichirenx View Post
i would date a single parent as long as we did not get too serious and as long as they did not want me to meet their child.
FUNNY!!!!!!

So basically you would date that hot single mom who just wants a quick roll in the hay and then move on? Good luck finding that!

If she is hot, she is well aware of it by now, and she knows she has options. She will have losers who have no long term interest in her kids propositioning her all day long and twice on Sundays.

Unless she is stupid, she will disregard every one of those proposals and hold out for a single dad who is looking committment, family, and marriage.
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Old 04-28-2010, 03:50 PM
 
Location: Homeless
1,203 posts, read 1,099,003 times
Reputation: 510
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beena View Post
FUNNY!!!!!!

So basically you would date that hot single mom who just wants a quick roll in the hay and then move on? Good luck finding that!

If she is hot, she is well aware of it by now, and she knows she has options. She will have losers who have no long term interest in her kids propositioning her all day long and twice on Sundays.

Unless she is stupid, she will disregard every one of those proposals and hold out for a single dad who is looking committment, family, and marriage.

I never said she had to be hot.
I never said we had to had sex.
It is quite possible to date someone without having sex.
Especially since if I want to get laid I have female associates just for that purpose, we want to satisfy urges so we agree on booty calls.

My point was that I could enjoy spending time with a single mother participating in social activities as long as I did not have to meet her child.
If she is looking for something serious I would most likely decline sex because we are on two different levels.

I do not have kids. I do not want to raise any children.
I do like children. But there is not point in me connecting to her children when I am not planning on spending my life with her.

And Beena, make no mistake, I do know some hot single mothers I could 'score' with if I so chose.
I may be a promiscuous guy, but I do have self discipline and respect for women.
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Old 05-01-2010, 01:21 PM
 
7,532 posts, read 6,257,225 times
Reputation: 6678
Quote:
Originally Posted by aqua0 View Post
I remember when I once was online dating, and a guy said this to me:

"My 3 year old daughter is the number ONE woman in my life. So, where would you like to meet?"

There was no way I could ever compete with her, so I declined. To be a stepparent is a thankless task. It is not for everyone!

Most single parents will think that although not too many will put it out on the table like that.

I married a woman with a boy and I took him in like he was my own. We were pretty close. When we had #2 which was mine it was totally different. I still take care of my step-son but it is different. I have a deep connection with my son. Most of the time my wife would say things that would distant my step-son from me. I would reach out and he would retreat.

If I took time to do something with my son my wife would pipe up and say things like, "You don't do that with him! (step-son)"

Had I had a woman that would be upfront and say, "My son is #1 in my life." I would have not stayed in the relationship either. However, it's always going to be that way. If she has a dog you will be #3.

Rude awakening will be me leaving when my son is old enough to leave.
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Old 05-01-2010, 01:23 PM
 
7,532 posts, read 6,257,225 times
Reputation: 6678
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beena View Post
FUNNY!!!!!!

So basically you would date that hot single mom who just wants a quick roll in the hay and then move on? Good luck finding that!

If she is hot, she is well aware of it by now, and she knows she has options. She will have losers who have no long term interest in her kids propositioning her all day long and twice on Sundays.

Unless she is stupid, she will disregard every one of those proposals and hold out for a single dad who is looking committment, family, and marriage.
I think you can find this all day long...twice on Sundays.

Why? They are looking to hitch up sooner than later.

Enjoy the roll in the hay and leave before she finds you are not taking it much further than that.
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