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Old 07-11-2011, 03:22 PM
 
904 posts, read 734,353 times
Reputation: 484
Quote:
Originally Posted by Saberai View Post
What the hell is wrong with you? Does this bother you this much? Did I say that single parents are responsible than single people? Is your reading comprehension that jacked up?
No it doesn't. I just hate hearing how if you have kids, you're somehow more responsible.
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Old 07-11-2011, 03:26 PM
 
Location: Hawaii
1,589 posts, read 1,290,304 times
Reputation: 2103
Congratulations on your engagement, Checkered24!

How sad that the child's father truly doesn't want anything to do with her. Perhaps he'd be open to relinquishing his parental rights so you can adopt her. Have you discussed that?
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Old 07-11-2011, 03:28 PM
 
Location: Hawaii
1,589 posts, read 1,290,304 times
Reputation: 2103
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wolfpacker View Post
No it doesn't. I just hate hearing how if you have kids, you're somehow more responsible.

Well, parents have more responsibilities. I "got knocked up" at age 22 due to a failed IUD. At the time I wasn't financially stable, mature, or any more responsible than anyone else I knew at that age. But the experience forced me to grow up pretty quickly. I may not have been responsible at the time of conception but I like to think that I rose to the occasion.

Last edited by boodhabunny; 07-11-2011 at 03:48 PM..
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Old 07-11-2011, 03:36 PM
 
1,301 posts, read 1,450,308 times
Reputation: 1253
Having responsibilities and being responsible are two different things. Parents have responsibilities but not many of them are responsible, is that clear enough? I hope so from someone who thinks he's smarter because he's older than but reads things too fast. Just the words "having children" and "responsible" sets him off.

I'm not posting anymore due to my current status by my username.
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Old 07-11-2011, 03:55 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,851 posts, read 51,225,654 times
Reputation: 22714
Quote:
Originally Posted by Checkered24 View Post
I am engaged to a single parent of a 2 year old. I wouldn't have it any other way, and before I met them I really was of the mindset that I didn't want kids.
The child is very young and the other parent is not in the picture. That makes things a lot easier.
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Old 05-18-2012, 02:38 PM
 
14,756 posts, read 13,341,373 times
Reputation: 8071
Quote:
Originally Posted by drsmiley06 View Post
Exactly! Let's see if I can nail this one on the head with one shot. I put myself thru 6 years of military service, put myself thru 4 years of undergrad and another 4 years of graduate school, plus add another year for residency and you want me to date someone who's single with two kids with two different guys? Oh I'm loving life, now that I'm done with school and working and making a good living. I love seeing those women that didn't want anything to do with me before, yet now that I have a good job and make decent money I'm all of a sudden attractive to them, interesting isn't it? Where were you 10 years ago, oh that's right, you were still hanging out with those guys from high school, you know those guys right, the 'cool guys', the guys that every girl wanted to hang out with and drink beers all night down by the river. What happened sweetheat, guy knocked you up, and now he's no where to be found, doesn't have a job, doesn't pay child support and now you're stuck raising the kid(s) and you're not educated either, oh crap! And you think I want to do with custody weekends, having to do with your ex-boyfriend/lover/significant other or whatever they call it these days. I just sit back and laugh at some of these people.
This dude has a point. Look at all he's done, and then he's going to give it away??? The same receptionist I had lunch with talked about how her sister, with kids, married a doctor and she just gushed as she explained that the doctor put at least one of her kids through an Ivy League school. No, that was their daddy's job.

I would say the same for a woman who put herself through law school at Columbia or Berkeley and then burned the midnight oil at some sweatshop law firm for years to get somewhere. She's not going to want someone with kids. It's the admin. asst. with the "bad boy" boyfriend who coos "and he's got his kids this weekend," as if ejaculating and creating offspring makes him more virile. Women with professional school under their belt don't seem to land on single Dads, at least not their first time through.

As for your last bold(ed) sentence, some people, including women without much education and kids from others, as you describe, think they are on an "equal footing" as all other women because, once upon a time, they were "cool." That was once upon a time.

Last edited by robertpolyglot; 05-18-2012 at 02:50 PM..
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Old 08-19-2012, 12:00 AM
 
14,756 posts, read 13,341,373 times
Reputation: 8071
Default Single childless women balking at men who don't date single moms

I've had this happen to me. I was in a situation where I was seeing this attractive, educated woman who had no children. I did know that she had dated guys with children, so she was open to that, but none of them amounted to much. She was inquiring about my relationship status and opinions, and I told her "I hadn't dated single moms" and that this didn't interest me. Evidently, she was torqued and responded with an "Oh, realllllllyyyy." For that, and some other basic problems, that was our last date. (With FB now, thank God for that - whew).

I think the fact that her younger, and presumably materialistic, sister had her storybook Orange County CA marriage fall apart is why she held this opinion against me. She was projecting.

Don't you think that it was ludicrous that a CHILDLESS woman would hold this against a man who also had no children?
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Old 08-19-2012, 12:25 AM
 
Location: Pa
31,829 posts, read 17,059,411 times
Reputation: 16676
She was standing up for her sister, duh.
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Old 08-19-2012, 12:28 AM
 
2,387 posts, read 995,484 times
Reputation: 1729
She was torqued? Really? lol
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Old 08-19-2012, 12:42 AM
 
5,556 posts, read 2,832,285 times
Reputation: 12336
Nope. I understand where she's coming from. I'm a single, childless woman who is very open to dating men with children - and I once nearly became the stepmother to a young boy who I still love very dearly, even if his father and I didn't work out. If a guy told me "I don't want to date a woman with children" I would see him as not sharing my values.

In fact, I had a relationship a couple years ago with a guy who said he didn't date women with children because he didn't want to be stuck raising someone else's kid. I thought that was particularly repulsive because his sister was actually his half-sister, and they shared a mother. She's a wonderful person and was close to her very difficult nonbiological father (and her brother). I let this slide, but I was just shoving stuff under the rug - as time passed, it became clear that our values did not align in any way shape or form. He was very grudging with his love and emotions, very concerned with appearances and his image, all that kind of stuff. He's kind of a mess emotionally.

Now the funny part is that he actually did date a woman after me who has children (they are adorable). He's currently quite happily playing dad to them, but I fear it's because they are such an ego boost to him given that they adore him. But I'm well out of the situation and just hope that he doesn't pull the rug out from under those kids when they become less cute.
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