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I've been through a similar situation recently... my ex-wife didn't work a day the 5 years we were together, didn't really carry any house-hold chores to compensate and had no concept of the amount of money she spent out of my paycheck. I took too long for me to wise up, I thought it would change, but now I am single. Even though it can get lonely at times, I am now living my own life, and living for me and it is really nice to lose the drama and fights. I am so much better off now.
Find someone else who is a nice guy. There still are a few of us out there
I'm so glad I'm not married. Sorry, but that's just how I feel.
You never know when people change, and I'd rather have a live-in boyfriend than a husband. If he becomes a freeloader and non-contributor, it is easier to resolve things!
I hear you! But I've always wanted to be married and have children. Having children was worth any pain or disappointment that I have suffered! But if I didn't want kids, no need to get married (likewise, if I divorce, no 2nd marriage for me!!).
You need to remove this man from your life immediately. And do not give in to his pleas about not having a place to go, not having money, etc. He is doing the minimum he can do to keep you at the end of his rope and that is to say he loves you. It sounds like he has lost all physical attraction toward you, probably because he has lost his confidence in himself. Kicking him out is the best thing you can do for this freeloader.
And BTW, I was in a similar situation with a live-in BF who pretended to be going to work daily only to return home after I'd left for the day to play Playstation and do speed. I confronted him but it was too late for him to salvage his job. I accrued thousands in credit card debt because we couldn't afford groceries or to pay utilities. We split up and I itemized EVERYTHING I had spent money on because he was not contributing and sent him a bill with a threat to take him to small claims court if he didn't pay it. He paid it back over time.
Thank you all for all your advice. Yes all of you have said what in my head I have thought but pushed aside.Its bring me down and I got to get ride of him. That will be the hard part. I'm not married, he never made that commitment to me, why should I commit to him.
This happened to me - only I was married with 2 kids when things changed. I am still struggling with feeling like I am carrying the load in my family (after a 1 year layoff, my husband "works", but is very underpaid so he can play golf and basically be a lazy bum). My husband is a good dad, but his being a "good dad" doesn't do a damn thing for me. I am staying together for the sake of my kids. Don't make the same mistake - RUN FOR THE HILLS.
I'm so sorry to hear that. I am lucky not to have kids in this relationship. I will find the strength and kick his ass out. thank you
Thank you all for all your advice. Yes all of you have said what in my head I have thought but pushed aside.Its bring me down and I got to get ride of him. That will be the hard part. Im not married he never made that commitment to me why should I commit to me.
I think she may want to stick this out. He obviously has model good looks for anyone to take this much crap from a roomie. In a few years she may be living with an actor.
That's not a bad looking guy. Am I right?
No i think it may be afraid of failure. I just made up excuses to explain his behavior. And its funny because normally I don't give more than one chance to fix the situation but in this one I have given tons of chances.
I'm so glad I'm not married. Sorry, but that's just how I feel. This happened to a gal I know. Her husband got into an unfortunate work accident and was on workman's comp. Then he got addicted to prescription drugs. Then he didn't want to work again. Her savings were draining fast before she finally divorced him. I actually felt sorry for the guy, but she was the one who was having to deal with it so I can't really judge.
You never know when people change, and I'd rather have a live-in boyfriend than a husband. If he becomes a freeloader and non-contributor, it is easier to resolve things!
That's funny because that how I have always felt. i never want to get married so I thought live-in bf was the way to go. And here I thought I had found this great guy and opps lost his job and you see the real person. It's been my weakness that I have not kicked him out. I don't know why i was doing very well without him in my life before he came into it.
Well this is the latest. I got in a huge fight on Wed. night told him it was time for him to go. That i didn't need this toxicity in my life. He was fine I'll leave by morning bla bla bla. i got home Thursday night and house is clean, he wants to cuddle, like nothing happened. i say nope this is not going to happen. You need to leave get your stuff out. I leave tell him that when I get home I want his stuff and him gone. I come back he is sleeping in bed. What do I have to go. Get the sheriff to serve an eviction notice. I have to change the locks this weekend. But there is never anytime to do that he is always there.
Well this is the latest. I got in a huge fight on Wed. night told him it was time for him to go. That i didn't need this toxicity in my life. He was fine I'll leave by morning bla bla bla. i got home Thursday night and house is clean, he wants to cuddle, like nothing happened. i say nope this is not going to happen. You need to leave get your stuff out. I leave tell him that when I get home I want his stuff and him gone. I come back he is sleeping in bed. What do I have to go. Get the sheriff to serve an eviction notice. I have to change the locks this weekend. But there is never anytime to do that he is always there.
Do you have any brothers, uncles, cousins - other male friends, who you could enlist to come over and help him pack?? You basically need some backup. If there is really no one around to help you, time to call the Sheriff's department for advice and help
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