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Old 04-23-2010, 06:42 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
677 posts, read 890,818 times
Reputation: 608
Kudos to you for telling him to get out! I agree with lovesMountains - if you have any (ideally male, big and scary ) relatives or friends who can help you to kick him out, that should do the trick. If not, call the cops. Plain and simple. And definitely good idea to change the locks.

Keep us posted, I hope that this works out for you.
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Old 04-23-2010, 07:11 PM
 
Location: Pa
33,225 posts, read 19,156,859 times
Reputation: 17628
Lady get rid of him, and get yourself together. Then find a good man.....with a j - O - b.
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Old 04-24-2010, 02:09 AM
 
Location: Southern California
12,372 posts, read 9,112,022 times
Reputation: 8031
Quote:
Originally Posted by fifi32 View Post
I've been in a relationship for 2.8 years now. He moved in with me about a year ago. Things were going great between us until 3 months after he moved in he lost his good paying job. He did not get unemployment. So I took over his car, insurance, and credit card payments. I took on two more part time jobs in addition to my full time teaching job. I never saw him looking for work. I'd come home and he had not showered or he would go to the gym, he was on facebook. Nothing was done in the house. I finally had it about 3 months into this so I spoke to him and we agreed we would share the cleaning responsibilities. I do bathrooms, laundry and vacuum and he cleans the kitchen, trash and the tile. I did my chores but he did not. I would come home and be asked what was for dinner when he was home the whole day. We started fighting more. He never wanted to do anything with my family or friends. He would complain that I would not hang out with him and watch TV when all I wanted to do was go to bed. I would get annoyed when he would ask for money to go catch a movie since we were on a budget now to make all the payments and I had no money to spend on myself even though i was working 60+ hrs. a week. I don;t know if I should have been annoyed at him for that but I was. We would fight over the electricity bill $400 for the summer since it was running all the time. Then it was the $140 heating bill. We fight over money all the time. I would give him job leads and he would not do anything.

...
I stopped here because I have him figured out. He's a loser. Kick him to the curb. I have no tolerance for people like him and no self-respecting person should either.
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Old 04-24-2010, 06:57 AM
 
Location: Saudi Arabia
1,823 posts, read 1,024,296 times
Reputation: 744
Get a shot gun and shoot him right in the can ..he's one big A'hole anyway ..dump him in the sewer .
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Old 04-24-2010, 07:53 AM
 
Location: St Thomas, US Virgin Islands
21,791 posts, read 25,497,097 times
Reputation: 22426
Quote:
Originally Posted by fifi32 View Post
Well this is the latest. I got in a huge fight on Wed. night told him it was time for him to go. That i didn't need this toxicity in my life. He was fine I'll leave by morning bla bla bla. i got home Thursday night and house is clean, he wants to cuddle, like nothing happened. i say nope this is not going to happen. You need to leave get your stuff out. I leave tell him that when I get home I want his stuff and him gone. I come back he is sleeping in bed. What do I have to go. Get the sheriff to serve an eviction notice. I have to change the locks this weekend. But there is never anytime to do that he is always there.
Well, fifi, if he hadn't shown enough of his true colors before this episode he certainly has now. Are you in a rental place or do you own it? If a rental, is he on the lease? If he's not legally attached to the place you're on a much firmer footing.

I would get a couple of people to come over and have some boxes AND some new locks ready. Don't raise your voice, don't let your friends raise their voices, just tell him that he's to leave NOW. If he starts to create a stink, call the police and tell them you have a problem and would like assistance to remove him from the premises. If he doesn't take all his stuff, he can make arrangements to come and get the rest of it within a week, by appointment and with a police escort. You need him out NOW - even if you have to take some time off work to accomplish it - because when he understands that this is really serious he may just try and get back at you by trashing your belongings. My guess, though, is that he's a real sissy of a manipulator and calling his bluff will work. He's been all over you for so long now that it's going to be a big surprise.

Good for you for having had the courage to stand up for yourself. Go to it!
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Old 04-24-2010, 10:31 AM
 
5,108 posts, read 7,574,666 times
Reputation: 3456
what you describe is your own caretaking behavior
get thee to an Al-Anon meeting, where you will be able to reclaim your own dignity, happiness, and sanity. best wishes
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Old 04-24-2010, 10:35 AM
 
47,586 posts, read 34,622,304 times
Reputation: 21543
To the OP: Why wouldn't you want it to be over? Let the myspace gf have your bum, take him off your hands.
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Old 04-24-2010, 10:38 AM
 
47,586 posts, read 34,622,304 times
Reputation: 21543
Quote:
Originally Posted by fifi32 View Post
Thank you all for all your advice. Yes all of you have said what in my head I have thought but pushed aside.Its bring me down and I got to get ride of him. That will be the hard part. I'm not married, he never made that commitment to me, why should I commit to him.
If you really want to rescue some soul, go to the Humane Society and pick out a nice homeless dog or cat. They would make far better companionship and show more gratitude, at least the dog would.
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Old 04-24-2010, 10:38 AM
 
Location: St Thomas, US Virgin Islands
21,791 posts, read 25,497,097 times
Reputation: 22426
I guess the last two posters didn't read her latest post and saw that she had actually moved towards doing something practical about the situation?
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Old 04-24-2010, 11:11 AM
 
47,586 posts, read 34,622,304 times
Reputation: 21543
Quote:
Originally Posted by STT Resident View Post
I guess the last two posters didn't read her latest post and saw that she had actually moved towards doing something practical about the situation?
She didn't do anything practical yet. He's still there sleeping in her bed, being supported by her, eating her food.

I suspect he'll be in one of those cuddling moods real soon again and the sheriff won't be called yet, no locks will be changed yet.
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