Not sure if it's just exhaustion talking...

[UKUKUK]

How can you derive me not wanting children from wanting them but being afraid something will go wrong that will adversely effect my family's quality of life?

Do you lack basic reading comprehension?

Come on, internet psychologist, surely you went to grade school and can understand a simple sentence.

[Drover]

It's the "but" part. Plus the several other excuses you proffered a few minutes ago.

You asked for advice. I offered it. Take it or leave it. I'll sleep just fine either way.

[virgode]

This is going to be repetative of other posts.... I think you need to be very wise here.. What I can invision happening is that if you don't take precautions, she going to do what she wants and trap you.

You will repeat the same pattern as your parents, your walking around wounded, and I can understand completely how you feel towards them. Good Luck

The highlighted is whats referred to as a Freudianslip.

Originally Posted by UKUKUK

It's not that I wouldn't like to have kids, it's that I'm worried they will be too big of a chore and burden me down in life. That they will eat up any additional money for savings or to go on a family vacation, and also, that I wouldn't be able to give them what I deserve.

.

[MattB4]

Originally Posted by UKUKUK

Waking up this morning, I regret posting this. I was very tired, and I really came off as a complete ass.

It's not that I wouldn't like to have kids, it's that I'm worried they will be too big of a chore and burden me down in life. That they will eat up any additional money for savings or to go on a family vacation, and also, that I wouldn't be able to give them what I deserve.

Does anyone else feel this way about kids? My entire childhood life, I was made to feel like a burden, and would hate for the situation my parents claimed I put them in to happen to me (I know I wasn't the cause, but it just hurts to have your mom and dad tell you that you're the cause of all of their problems) and I think it could be a very real situation I clearly have some issues, thank god for anonymous online forums.

Either way, I'm really sorry I said those things. I'm not a selfish or immature person, moreso just afraid.

People in my field do not make very much, 60k/yr at most, and I would hate to ask my future wife to work. I'd love to have kids, I just honestly am afraid I couldn't give them a good life and that it would also reflect back on me. I want my kids to live in a good home, with food in their stomachs and a good education that they don't have to stay in debt for for the rest of their life. I'd want them to love me and not have the feelings I have towards my parents, who distanced themselves from me as much as I have them.

Great post! Kids will love you so long as you give them positive attention and roles to play in your Family, they just need to be wanted. Obviously your parents lacked the ability to provide that for you. But you are able to see that had happened and may be able to break from the behavior. Not always easy to change from our upbringing.

Wealth will not give happiness, it does provide nicely for the material side of things. So it is a nice thing to have but you also need to take care of the mental and individual needs. As for debt, learn not to go in to debt but live within your means. This by doing will get passed onto your children. In my experience you could live very well on much less than what you are capable of making.