Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Hi there, everyone. Basically... I'm looking to learn how to trust again in a relationship. Both romantically and otherwise.
My history is basically that every guy I've been in a romantic relationship with (and a girl...) has cheated on me. My father also cheated on my mother for a very long time. And basically... I want to trust the guy I'm seeing, but I'm really scared. I see things and think of what could be happening, but I'm also too afraid to voice my concerns because we haven't been together that long, and I have no idea if we're "going steady" or not.
But the first night I stayed over at his house, he was kind enough to let me have his bed and he took a bed in the basement. But I saw (I wasn't snooping through his stuff xD it was just sitting there, and I made a joke about it to him) a girl's perfume bottle on one of his shelves near the door to his room. I joked that I didn't know he liked wearing those scents, and he said it was one of his chick friends' things from when she stayed over. I tried to not think about it... I mean, that had maybe only been a week into our relationship.
Another time I was in his car, and there was a yogurt cup in it with some napkins. I noticed what I believe was lipstick on it. I still think that it could just be from the frozen yogurt... but I just don't know what to think. I know he has a lot of chick friends. And what bothers me is that before I wouldn't care. Before the last big betrayal I was put through, I wouldn't have cared all that much.
See, he's a big flirt (I've never noticed him flirt with my chick friends, though), and he's always saying how "frigid" he is... but yeah. I can't help being worried. I'm the kind of person that commits to a relationship and expects the same. And if I really like someone (like this guy... we have personalities that just click), I put myself out there too much and I can't help it.
Anyway, excuse the big ramble. If anyone has pearls of wisdom, please talk about them here. Thank you!
If I were you, I would not try to worry about the "little things" so much.
If he had something to hide, you would be able to tell, but he was upfront, and honest with you about it. Its when they start the long, oh hum excuses, is when you should put your head up.*
You try to trust them, unless they give you a good reason not to.
First thing you need to sort out is why you're drawn to the cheating type. Once that's sorted out, trust will (or should) gradually come back as you stop dating cheaters.
Yankeegirl, thanks especially for that. See, I've spoken to the women in my mother's side of the family, and they all tell me that "He looks like a player! Men are all the same!" And stuff like that, and that's not good enough for me xD It's just really annoying when not even your own family can help you work through something you really want to. Because you know what? I know this guy is worth it. I just know. So thanks, it's nice to hear someone else other than myself thinks it's just little things.
Yes, Drover, I really should. Never really looked at myself as drawn to them though xD I guess it was because all those guys were part of the same "crowd" I guess? Could that be it? I dunno... *is fail*
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
