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Unread 04-24-2010, 03:15 PM
 
128 posts, read 185,274 times
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Default Is there generally a bigger age difference in second and third marriages (than first marriages)?

I know a number of recently divorced middle aged men (age 40-60) who will not consider a woman their age. Most want a woman at least 10 years younger. They believe (wrongly) that they still look and act young and women their age look ancient! (I disagree, then men look old too) But there seems to be many men I know who end up marrying a much younger woman in their second and third marriages.

Why is the happening? Why would a 30 year old woman accept a marriage proposal from a old looking 45 year old middle class man?
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Unread 04-24-2010, 04:39 PM
 
Location: Nashville, Tn
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I've noticed this on the singles website I use. There are many women who are in my age range but state on their profiles that they're looking for guys who are fifteen or twenty years younger. I'll bet the men's profiles are even worse given the kind of pigs that we are. I'm just trying to find someone within a reasonable range of age that's close to my own. It's not that I don't want a 21 year old wife, it's just that I know I'm not going to find one.
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Unread 04-24-2010, 04:55 PM
 
Location: 39 20' 59"N / 75 30' 53"W
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tough Questions View Post
I know a number of recently divorced middle aged men (age 40-60) who will not consider a woman their age.
Would one of them be Jerry?
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Unread 04-24-2010, 05:01 PM
 
Location: Whoville....
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Simple, having a younger partner makes them feel younger.

Older men/women will often lavish attention on a younger partner because they make them feel younger. I don't get a 30 year old woman with a 45 year old man unless he's financially secure and she's looking to have children. Given that the average life expectancy of a man is something like 72 and it's 78 for women, she's looking at a long widowhood.

I was 19 when I married my then 31 year old dh. Now that I'm 50 and he's 62 that age difference seems HUGE. It didn't seem like a big deal back then. Of course, I was only 19. What did I know?
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Unread 04-24-2010, 05:02 PM
 
Location: NYC area
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler View Post
Simple, having a younger partner makes them feel younger.
It makes them feel younger -- but it makes them look older.
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Unread 04-24-2010, 09:35 PM
 
Location: Wyoming
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Hmmmmmmm... I started dating my first wife in high school when I was 16. She was 15, about as young as I felt comfortable dating. The acceptable range of ages then was much narrower than when I divorced that first wife in my mid-to-late 40s.

Still, my second wife was a year older than I was.

But when she died, that acceptable range of ages remained wide. I figured anyone within 5 years older or 10 years younger was okay. (I had briefly date a gal who was 17 years younger, and while she was fine with it, I wasn't.) It just so happened that the woman with whom I really meshed this time was 10 years younger. She's always preferred older men; her ex was nine years older. -- Oh yeah, and the gal I dated who was 17 years my junior had been dating a guy 16 years older than her, so she preferred older guys too.


Life expectancy is based on more than just age. I'm probably in better physical health than my young(er) wife. She's smoked since she was a teen; I've only smoked a little now and then. She drinks more than she should and doesn't eat very healthy. My parents both lived into their late 80s. (Dad only missed 90 by a month.) Her parents died younger. I'm overweight and she isn't, but it's still hard to say which of us will go first. Before I'd disqualify someone because of their life expectancy, I'd consider aspects other than just age.

Last edited by WyoNewk; 04-24-2010 at 09:44 PM..
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Unread 04-24-2010, 11:02 PM
 
Location: California
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Quote:
I know a number of recently divorced middle aged men (age 40-60) who will not consider a woman their age
I consider the women their age lucky. Nothing worse than a male mid life mess.
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Unread 04-25-2010, 04:38 AM
 
128 posts, read 185,274 times
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So IF you were a middle aged man in your forties and were divorced and dating a woman 10-20 years younger than you, would she make you feel old or young?

The same question for middle aged woman dating much younger men (the cougars). Does being with him make you feel like an old lady or feel younger?
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Unread 04-25-2010, 10:29 PM
 
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When I was 43 years old I broke up with a lady I had dated and shacked up with for 6 years. Her youngest daughter was 25 and had been married twice and both husbands were physically abusive and beat her. While I was dating her Mom I always tried to help her financially anytime she needed help, because she always paid me back, I always went out of my way to treat her right and help her with any problems she had. When I broke up with her Mom she started calling me several times a week. She lived in a different town and eventually started asking me to come and spend the week end with her. I visited her during the day several times, but always had an excuse why I couldn't spend the night. She always greeted me with a hug and kisses, and did the same when I left. She asked me why I wouldn't spend the weekend and I told her I cared too much about her to hurt her. Her answer was, she wanted to go beyond dating because her best friend was married to an older guy and they were happy. She was interested in me because I treated her better than she had ever been treated before and I didn't ask for anything in return. Telling her I couldn't see her anymore was the hardest thing I ever did in my life. She was beautiful with an athletic build, and worked as an operating room tech, her personality was very pleasing. I couldn't see her having to 'put up'with, and take care of an old fart when she reached her forties.
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Unread 08-25-2011, 03:26 PM
Status: "Sleeping Train Conductor at the wheel" (set 2 days ago)
 
Location: USA
8,271 posts, read 3,705,014 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nite Ryder View Post
When I was 43 years old I broke up with a lady I had dated and shacked up with for 6 years. Her youngest daughter was 25 and had been married twice and both husbands were physically abusive and beat her. While I was dating her Mom I always tried to help her financially anytime she needed help, because she always paid me back, I always went out of my way to treat her right and help her with any problems she had. When I broke up with her Mom she started calling me several times a week. She lived in a different town and eventually started asking me to come and spend the week end with her. I visited her during the day several times, but always had an excuse why I couldn't spend the night. She always greeted me with a hug and kisses, and did the same when I left. She asked me why I wouldn't spend the weekend and I told her I cared too much about her to hurt her. Her answer was, she wanted to go beyond dating because her best friend was married to an older guy and they were happy. She was interested in me because I treated her better than she had ever been treated before and I didn't ask for anything in return. Telling her I couldn't see her anymore was the hardest thing I ever did in my life. She was beautiful with an athletic build, and worked as an operating room tech, her personality was very pleasing. I couldn't see her having to 'put up'with, and take care of an old fart when she reached her forties.
I would have had a bigger issue with having dated the mom than the age difference.

A dating site I am on has lots woman that are in their 20's having an age range of interest in being as much as 20 years older. That would be like me dating a 59 yo?
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