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Old 06-12-2007, 08:43 AM
 
Location: Teton Valley Idaho
7,395 posts, read 13,069,861 times
Reputation: 5444

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Roaddog View Post
I met my wife at the movies, neither of us was looking it just happened.
You wont met the-one in a bar or on-line, get out and enjoy the things you like and you may met that special person doing the same thing.
not true....met my hubby on-line....he had posted something about his relationship with his soon to be ex-, nothing that was negative, just truthful about how sometimes no matter how much you want something to work-it doesn't, and I messaged him because it struck me as such an honest and heart-felt statement, and I'd also experienced that. Neither of us was looking for anything serious. Six months later he moved from Southern Maine....and now the sign above one of the fireplaces says..."and they lived happily ever after"....and it's true.
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Old 06-12-2007, 10:47 AM
 
1,569 posts, read 3,397,622 times
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I've been single, hmmm..I guess around 14 years (geez..where did the time go?) I like meeting people doing activities I like doing. Cliches are annoying. Nothing like when you're having a lonely moment and someone in a relationship slaps you with "when you're not looking" etc. Thanks, I needed to hear what I was doing wrong at this moment. For every cliche there is refute. I think you have to be open to having a relationship in some way otherwise you'll walk right by or just say no.

Although I've made many friends, dated a few guys for a short time, had many interesting experiences learning to date in my 40s (married when I was 20), I have only fallen in love once during this time and I met him at work. It didn't last but it was delightful to know I can still fall in love. Now really, Costco opens in an hour and I still have to put my makeup on just in case.....well maybe one more since it is only mascara.
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Old 06-12-2007, 10:29 PM
 
Location: California
11,466 posts, read 19,321,678 times
Reputation: 12713
Quote:
Originally Posted by mollysmiles View Post
not true....met my hubby on-line....he had posted something about his relationship with his soon to be ex-, nothing that was negative, just truthful about how sometimes no matter how much you want something to work-it doesn't, and I messaged him because it struck me as such an honest and heart-felt statement, and I'd also experienced that. Neither of us was looking for anything serious. Six months later he moved from Southern Maine....and now the sign above one of the fireplaces says..."and they lived happily ever after"....and it's true.
I'm sure it works out for people but in my opinion if you are looking for a relationship and want to meet someone then you will have faster results meeting people face to face in an envioment you are comfortable with, it's a lot harder to tell if someone is being honest on-line than face to face, a person can exagerate their looks and their personality on-line but not so much in person, joe can say he's got a good job and drives a sports car but when he shows up, looks 15 years older than the picture he sent you and is driving a in 63 rambler with his world packed in it it may not be the best situation to be in. The main thing is the original question How to find love(w/o using the internet)?
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Old 06-13-2007, 08:15 AM
 
Location: Kentucky Bluegrass
28,883 posts, read 30,181,434 times
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Wull I stopped looking 6 years ago, and haven't dated since. All I ever found were cheaters, players, non-trust worthy people. People who were not very confident...plus...it seems today, people think when they meet, they should jump into an intimate relationship right away...without knowing each other...which is really crazy, they fall in love with lust, get married, and down the road wake up aside of someone they don't really know????

Ohhh my....is it me? Sometimes I ponder, is there a sign around my neck which says..."Loosers apply here"

I've not dated in 6 years....tried the internet and God, one guy....after a movie, the guy walked me to my car and proceeded to pin me there and wouldn't stop kissing me....let it be said, he went home singing soprano.

Others were so darn enfactuated by themselves and their wealth, that is all they talked about...????? Never asking me, who I was....what I enjoyed....or even considered the fact to explore my qualites, what I lacked, what I owned that made me special????

It got so, I could tell in a telephone conversation, if we were not a match and most of them were not good matches. My girlfriend keeps telling me...most people who respect themselves, are home like you, and have given up...and are quit satisfied with their lives.

I consider myself, intellectual...not that I can express myself as well, as I think...I suppose that is why I write poetry.

Anyway, long story short...I've never been lucky at love...and I don't just want anyone...not anyone will do...or stimulate my mind...yanno?


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Old 06-13-2007, 09:07 AM
 
1,569 posts, read 3,397,622 times
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Cremebrulee - It is not just you, most of the time I think that sign is on my head too and it gets discouraging but I've also met some nice guys that were mature. The others just out number the nice guys and stand out because of the drama (married men that hit on me are the worst--what the hell would I want with a guy cheating on his wife--talk about self centered!) Although I've heard enough stories from male friends who date to know it is not just men. I've gone on two dates in the last four years that were great--nice memories--and reminders of why I enjoy men. I think the nice guys are doing the same thing we're doing - other things and unlike women, they usually aren't social things.

Mexi-in-Arlington-Heights- what are your interests? What are the very important things for you? If faith is important, many churches have singles groups. Ask your friends if they know anyone. I still think the best way is to get out and do things you enjoy and meet people and get to know them thru activities. You have fun and aren't so lonely. I tend to think it is harder for women to find someone because we like to socialize and get out whereas many men don't unless they are with a woman. Typically when I take community classes, volunteer, do singles club things, it is 75% (or more) women. Even hiking clubs--women (women are, rightfully so, more reluctant to hike alone although no one should.) There are all kinds of clubs for every interest. Birding-bicycling-archery-woodcarving—I could go on and on. If you are young, take a college class. They are full of young people (and a few older women.)

I'm putting an ad on the Internet but plan to start doing more social things this summer since I'll have some time and I want to (not to just look for someone.) LOL unless I fill it up with all the other things I miss--roadtrips, camping, bicycling, reading for fun, creating art. Maybe I’ll get to an Audubon group trip or join the Wanderers hiking club or the archery lessons…….after my trip to Virginia.
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Old 06-13-2007, 09:23 AM
 
Location: Kentucky Bluegrass
28,883 posts, read 30,181,434 times
Reputation: 19077
Dancingearth

thanks for your feedback, so nice to hear, other experiences....

fear has kept me from dating, mostly...and since then, I've learned who I am, enjoy the company I keep and the independence...no longer desire, bad boys and insecure players....

and yes, I know it's both genders that experience this...I've heard some whopping stories

wishing you lots of luck...hope you meet a fantastic fellow
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Old 06-13-2007, 02:18 PM
 
16,579 posts, read 20,658,614 times
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Mexi-in-Arlington Heights,
I was single for a long time. I dated a lot and met my husband when I was 34. We’ve been together for 11 years now and married for 9. Here’s what I learned from others and from experience about meeting people and dating.

1. Whatever qualities you’re searching for in a person should be qualities you’re working on in yourself. If you want someone attractive and fit, make sure you’re attractive and fit. Start exercising if you aren’t doing so already (also a good way to meet people–gyms, running at the track, etc.). Make sure you’re always clean, buy some decent (don't have to be expensive) clothes that fit, get a good haircut and keep your nails clean and trimmed.

If you’re looking for good conversation, make sure you have something to talk about, especially if you’re shy. Books, movies, history, hobbies, travels, politics are all good conversation starters. Family and personal problems are not. Ask open-ended questions and listen to the answers.

If you’re looking for well-educated and/or well-employed, you need to be the same. You get the picture.

2. Get out of the house. Strangers are not going to knock on your door and ask you to go somewhere with them. Get outside–walk your dog, go for a run, read the paper at the coffee shop, take a class, volunteer, go to church, join a club.

3. Make sure you have a life independent of your search for a significant other. Go out with and enjoy your friends, buy a house if you’re able, get a degree, acquire pets, do whatever makes you happy. People like to be around happy, competent people. Nobody likes a whiner.

4. If you do meet someone, find a happy medium between shy and over-eager. Puppies are great but no one wants to date one. And as archaic and last-millennium as it sounds, it’s more fun to chase than be chased. Don’t always be there and never, ever come across as desperate or needy.

5. As corny as it sounds–be nice. Be happy, friendly, helpful, polite and courteous. Those qualities are attractive in people. Not obsequious–that’s creepy.

If you remain open to the possibilities of the universe, you will most likely find your “one.”
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Old 06-13-2007, 02:56 PM
 
Location: California
11,466 posts, read 19,321,678 times
Reputation: 12713
Marlow, thats some real good advice, thanks for sharing it.
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Old 06-13-2007, 03:07 PM
 
Location: Vancouver, Canada
550 posts, read 2,822,244 times
Reputation: 549
Quote:
You wont met the-one in a bar or on-line, get out and enjoy the things you like and you may met that special person doing the same thing.
I met my husband in a bar. I was just there to dance, didn't look my tip top best but a song came on that I loved. I ran furiously to the first man I saw and said "I love this song, please dance with me!!

That was....wow, 13 years ago!

Am I really that old???

So, thats my story!
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Old 06-13-2007, 03:27 PM
 
16,579 posts, read 20,658,614 times
Reputation: 26860
What was the song???
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