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While what you're saying is plausible (about me not wanting her), its not the case. I do really want her, but when nerves get in the way, how else could I prove it beyond just saying it? She has aroused me several times before and wasn't even aware. When she put her clothes back on, you have to understand how that made me feel. I understand her frustration, but I am a guy, and my ego is fragile. I felt embarrassed. And she throws her clothes on almost like a barrier, a sign to just leave her alone. I'm not going to try to force her to take her clothes back off.
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Originally Posted by Professor Griff
Also, I'd like to add that she's 31. And also, I know its not a health issue. It's just psychological. I may have been putting too much on this and, yes, overthinking it.
Hopefully there will be a next time. I can't see her opening herself to potential frustration too many times longer.
You said earlier that you have pleasured her, but she has never reciprocated. I'm kind of curious why that is. Do you feel she lacks enthusiasm for you, are you getting other vibes from her, has she maybe said something to you about her past that maybe is throwing you off?
Sounds like you feel under a lot of pressure & anxiety and from just reading your posts I can't figure out why.
Well, the title pretty much gives this one away. I've been dating a certain lady for the past couple months, during which time I could see things building up to eventual sex. Well, the other night, she invites me over very late. I wasn't really thinking anything of it because of the circumstances that preceded it. Soon as I got there, she comes out from behind the door to reveal herself completely naked. We start making out vigorously, she leads me to the bed, I'm quite nervous at this point, and BOOM nothing. He wasn't moving. OK, we got over that one.
Fast forward a couple days. I figured hey, she had a rough week, why not get her some massage oil and massage her legs (she's a runner). Well, I figured it would lead to something, which is what I thought I wanted. It lead to something, and all cylinders were firing up until the point where she asked me to go get my condom, at which point I completely lost it. And it wasn't coming back. Disappointed and frustrated, she turned a bit indifferent and just detached herself. Threw her clothes back on and got ready to sleep. I never felt so embarrassed, never wanted so badly to just crawl into a hole. I couldn't leave since the arrangement had already been made for me to sleep there. So I lay there restless while she went to sleep. That was the most uncomfortable thing ever. She did give it one more try later in the night but Johnson was not moving. The next morning she felt distant. I know what the morning after a night of good sex is like; this was like the complete opposite.
About me, I'm 27, and I consider myself to be healthy. I'm not on medication, I wasn't under the influence of alcohol. I'm attracted to her and I do want her, there's just no way to prove it. I understand that these things happen, my fear is that she will lose her desire for me if she believes that each time she puts herself out there physically, I wont be able to measure up. Has this ever happened to any of you? How did you move on from it? Females, how do you respond when something like this happens?
This has never happened to me. To be honest, I'd probably never want to see you again. I really don't know, but I can imagine it would be a total turn off.
If you have pleasured her orally and she hasn't pleasured you back, that makes me think that she's not that into you and you should walk away from this one. The fact that she threw her clothes back on when it didn't happen also makes me think it will never work--it was extremely insensitive on her part.
I'm a woman and I can't say that oral is my favorite way to go, but esp in the beginning of a relationship, you can bet I'd be trying my best to please him and I'll bet that oral would have turned things around for you and her. I think you should walk away from this and consider that your "third leg" might have more sense in this issue than you have and you can consider yourself lucky to have discovered this so early on. This one just wasn't meant to be.
This has happened to 99% of men and those who say it hasn't are either inexperienced or lying. From your post it sounds like it was anxiety causing it.
Count me among the 1% that it hasn't happened to, and no I'm not a liar or inexperienced. I've never had this problem when it came time to perform. It may be common, but I wouldn't say it's happened to 99% of men.
Well, the title pretty much gives this one away. I've been dating a certain lady for the past couple months, during which time I could see things building up to eventual sex. Well, the other night, she invites me over very late. I wasn't really thinking anything of it because of the circumstances that preceded it. Soon as I got there, she comes out from behind the door to reveal herself completely naked. We start making out vigorously, she leads me to the bed, I'm quite nervous at this point, and BOOM nothing. He wasn't moving. OK, we got over that one.
Fast forward a couple days. I figured hey, she had a rough week, why not get her some massage oil and massage her legs (she's a runner). Well, I figured it would lead to something, which is what I thought I wanted. It lead to something, and all cylinders were firing up until the point where she asked me to go get my condom, at which point I completely lost it. And it wasn't coming back. Disappointed and frustrated, she turned a bit indifferent and just detached herself. Threw her clothes back on and got ready to sleep. I never felt so embarrassed, never wanted so badly to just crawl into a hole. I couldn't leave since the arrangement had already been made for me to sleep there. So I lay there restless while she went to sleep. That was the most uncomfortable thing ever. She did give it one more try later in the night but Johnson was not moving. The next morning she felt distant. I know what the morning after a night of good sex is like; this was like the complete opposite.
About me, I'm 27, and I consider myself to be healthy. I'm not on medication, I wasn't under the influence of alcohol. I'm attracted to her and I do want her, there's just no way to prove it. I understand that these things happen, my fear is that she will lose her desire for me if she believes that each time she puts herself out there physically, I wont be able to measure up. Has this ever happened to any of you? How did you move on from it? Females, how do you respond when something like this happens?
Nothing a good ol' glass of vodka can't fix.
Just don't drink more than one, it might end badly.
The more you stress about it, the more it will happen in the future. You two need to sit down & talk about this before it gets hot & heavy. Things happen (or not) and if this woman is interested in a future with you, she needs to be able to deal with things. You may be better off moving on.
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. Has this ever happened to any of you? How did you move on from it? Females, how do you respond when something like this happens?
