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Old 04-25-2010, 02:10 PM
 
Location: Back in the gym...Yo Adrian!
10,168 posts, read 20,713,889 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by malamute View Post
True. Those who wanted and had the ability to commit are doing just that and aren't out looking.
Not true, there are plenty of men in that age range who may be divorced after a long marriage. Perhaps they waited for the kids to be grown before splitting up. Some just might be tired of the single life and want to settle down. Widowers too.
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Old 04-25-2010, 02:15 PM
 
47,525 posts, read 69,466,176 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Coolhand68 View Post
Not true, there are plenty of men in that age range who may be divorced after a long marriage. Perhaps they waited for the kids to be grown before splitting up. Some just might be tired of the single life and want to settle down. Widowers too.
The divorced coming out of a long marriage will tend to want to make up for all that lost time, get all the action they felt they missed. Especially if they suffered through hell waiting for the kids to grow up so they could become carefree. Die-hard bachelors have a committment problem. I think the widowers could be a pretty good bet though, many of them were committment types.
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Old 04-25-2010, 02:16 PM
 
Location: Back in the gym...Yo Adrian!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Onglet39 View Post
OK, now THIS is the sort of info I am looking for, thank you.

For instance, I have mentioned travel in the past, and it never occurred to me that they are thinking sex-filled weekend romp.

I've never mentioned cocktails but I've mentioned wine... perhaps I shouldn't mention that either.
Yeah, I'd leave out the wine and travel. These are things he can discover about you after you've had a chance to get to meet in person and feel him out a little.
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Old 04-25-2010, 02:19 PM
 
Location: Back in the gym...Yo Adrian!
10,168 posts, read 20,713,889 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by malamute View Post
The divorced coming out of a long marriage will tend to want to make up for all that lost time, get all the action they felt they missed. Especially if they suffered through hell waiting for the kids to grow up so they could become carefree. Die-hard bachelors have a committment problem. I think the widowers could be a pretty good bet though, many of them were committment types.
I don't know, at that age you know more about yourself and what you want in a partner. You're more likely to settle at a younger age, unless you're just afraid of being alone. A guy who has endured a long marriage has grown accustomed to companionship. In the beginning he may want some variety and just keep things light and breezy, but eventually he'll probably want something more meaningful.
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Old 04-25-2010, 02:23 PM
 
Location: silver springs
791 posts, read 1,422,024 times
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[quote=Coolhand68;13896885]I don't know, at that age you know more about yourself and what you want in a partner. You're more likely to settle at a younger age, unless you're just afraid of being alone. A guy who has endured a long marriage has grown accustomed to companionship. In the beginning he may want some variety and just keep things light and breezy, but eventually he'll probably want something more meaningful.[/quote]true ....I became a widow early in 06.....it went exactly like that....
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Old 04-25-2010, 02:26 PM
 
Location: southern california
61,289 posts, read 87,129,640 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Thursday007 View Post
Your posts, and I stress posts as plural including your nasty millionaire post, in this thread do not bother me one bit it is your overall hypocracy. If you are going to be an instigator than don't complain.

But this is not my thread and I will not go further into it - people can read I don't need to further it.
sorry you dont like my posts, not everyone does. dont let it ruin your day.
enjoy.

Last edited by Huckleberry3911948; 04-25-2010 at 02:35 PM..
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Old 04-25-2010, 02:34 PM
 
Location: California
37,054 posts, read 41,998,003 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by malamute View Post
The divorced coming out of a long marriage will tend to want to make up for all that lost time, get all the action they felt they missed. Especially if they suffered through hell waiting for the kids to grow up so they could become carefree. Die-hard bachelors have a committment problem. I think the widowers could be a pretty good bet though, many of them were committment types.
This is true. And why I'm not interested in newly single middle aged men.
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Old 04-25-2010, 02:35 PM
 
47,525 posts, read 69,466,176 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Coolhand68 View Post
I don't know, at that age you know more about yourself and what you want in a partner. You're more likely to settle at a younger age, unless you're just afraid of being alone. A guy who has endured a long marriage has grown accustomed to companionship. In the beginning he may want some variety and just keep things light and breezy, but eventually he'll probably want something more meaningful.
I'm sure there are some and of course some at various stages. Fresh out of a divorce, they're likely going to want to make many conquests. It has something to do with that greener grass they missed out on from the other side of the fence. Then after a few years, they start looking back on their old side of the fence again, missing the days of not having to be on the prowl always.

Plus being on the prowl gets harder and harder on an old cat so they will tend to want someone to love them again, be there for their golden years and push their wheelchair.

So the OP might need to raise the age up or raise the age down - but 45-50 isn't the best age group to find for committment.
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Old 04-25-2010, 02:40 PM
 
Location: Southern Illinois
10,364 posts, read 20,727,235 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Coolhand68 View Post
Not sure how your profile reads, but I'd avoid any reference to sex, breast size, or any descriptions of your body that are made to sound attractive...lot's of curves, soft skin, pouty lips etc. Guys will hone in on the superficial stuff real fast and they seem to get fixated on a woman if she describes herself liberally with lot's of adjectives. The most intellectual, respectful, and confident man can read your well written profile but if you stated that you have a 36C cup size he's already picturing you face down, ass up in his bed.

Put emphasis on the things you enjoy doing in your free time in the body of your ad. You want someone who will be friends first and who enjoys concerts, the theater, ice skating, shooting pool, hiking etc. or whatever it is you enjoy doing. Keep the activities to a strictly platonic nature. Write it as though you were looking to hang out with an 8 year old or a female friend.

If you mention that you enjoy traveling he'll probably start thinking "weekend getaways" right away which in his mind mean "debauchery filled weekend" and he's thinking sex right away. If you mention you like going out for some cocktails, again, lot's of guys will start thinking "I'll get a few drinks in her and she'll loosen up and invite back to her place" and thinks the night will end with sex.

When stating what you're looking for in a man, remember the same rules about decribing yourself. No mention of specific body types, uninhibited in bedroom, good kissers, or experienced.

None of these are fool proof methods of finding a guy who won't want to jump in bed with you right away. Most will, but at least you can curb their expectations by writing a very platonic ad similar to something you might place in Meetup.com when looking for a friend or activity partner. Actually, that probably would be a decent place to look for someone without actually coming off like you are looking for someone. Find someone with similar interests and if you get lucky you'll make a friend and possibly more out of it.
Great post as usual cool guy, but even that doesn't discourage the horny ones. I put in there that I'm Christian and don't watch TV b/c I'm home reading the classics and that sort of thing and still had several young and older guys wanting to know my bra size. One man who seemed to be a serious prospect, and one that I made it clear to from the beginning that there wasn't going to be casual sex, told me straight out on the 4th date that I was not the one, but that he'd be more than happy to have a FWB relationship with me. Well, it's discouraging but I still like men. I like the advice about whether they'll spend time talking to you. That seems like the best bet. I don't know how you can prescreen them though.
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Old 04-25-2010, 02:43 PM
 
1,561 posts, read 2,199,312 times
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Interesting question. I am a 50 year old single male so perhaps have something to add. You will not find me on a dating site, it just is not my kind of thing. I am not all that interested in casual sex since I believe things always come at a price. Not to say I am against sex (will not more than 3 times a day at most) just that it is not everything anymore at my age.

So how would you make yourself more attractive to someone like me? Not easily because you would have to do something that is hard for women to do. You would have to find me and pursue me (and that is not due to my ego problems). People like me are not in bars or mall hangouts. Most likely you would only encounter us as a neighbor or at work or out shopping. Be aware that truly mature men are suspicious and wary. We may really love to have a long term relationship but the slings and arrows of time have taken their toll.

Physical attractiveness is a plus but it is also a negative if you think it entitles you to attention. A big heart, a bigger smile and genuine interest in my well being would be dangerously attractive. I better shut up now since I am giving away State Secrets.
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