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Old 04-25-2010, 01:09 PM
 
Location: NYC
7,371 posts, read 11,556,740 times
Reputation: 10221

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I'm hoping to hear from men on this; I need male opinions and I don't trust female ones. No offense gals!

It's been a few weeks since I decided to really try to start dating again. Being more practical, I revised my age requirements upward, and decided to do away with all physical ones (except for too overweight).

So far, I've only attracted men who want to have sex with me right away, and if I don't do it, they are gone. I don't mind some guy hitting the road because I won't sleep with them quickly enough - I figure they are doing me a favor by not wasting my time. Either they aren't interested in a relationship, or they aren't interested in a relationship with me but still think I'm worth a shag or two.

I should also add, I don't have any personal hang ups about casual sex. It's simply not what I am currently looking for. And furthermore, I can attract a way hotter guy for casual sex than i can for a relationship... if I'm going to do the casual thing, I'm going to be shallow about it and bang someone hot. I am well aware that my days are numbered in terms of this, but for right now I can still pick.

So what I am asking is, men, how can I do a better job of screening guys so that I'm not wasting my time early on? What should I be looking for, if I go back online (as I am considering) are there certain things I should write in my profiles, and are there certain things I look look for in their profiles? Any particular red flags come to mind?

I need to tighten up my screening soon because I'm about to head into my busy season for work, which will have me on the road a lot.
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Old 04-25-2010, 01:12 PM
 
Location: downtown Sarasota
4,545 posts, read 11,484,979 times
Reputation: 1867
great post.
my sentiments exactly.
Can't wait to hear the men's responses!
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Old 04-25-2010, 01:15 PM
 
Location: New Zealand and Australia
7,460 posts, read 10,449,569 times
Reputation: 7783
Interesting I didn't know that was so common in men those ages, 16-35 sure.
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Old 04-25-2010, 01:16 PM
 
Location: silver springs
791 posts, read 1,137,658 times
Reputation: 593
just saw your pic ....yeah, looks like you can still have your pick ....you are going into season for work....on the road. hmmmm......
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Old 04-25-2010, 01:20 PM
 
Location: silver springs
791 posts, read 1,137,658 times
Reputation: 593
you dont want the casual thing...you want a relationship. Cut right to the deal and tell the guy straight up.....no candy coating and you will get the response....no response? NEXT BATTER!!!!
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Old 04-25-2010, 01:21 PM
 
Location: NYC
7,371 posts, read 11,556,740 times
Reputation: 10221
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ladywithafan View Post
great post.
my sentiments exactly.
Can't wait to hear the men's responses!
It seems to me that single/divorced men over 40 are in a renaissance phase in terms of desirability on the dating market. It's sort of similar to being a 23 year old gal... but the difference is, 23 year old gals don't know they are in their prime phase, but the 40-50 year old men are well aware.

So a lot of them simply want to have fun, don't want to settle down. I don't blame them at all for it. But I'd like to figure out which one do want to settle down.
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Old 04-25-2010, 01:23 PM
 
Location: New Zealand and Australia
7,460 posts, read 10,449,569 times
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Just be straight up about it, like post #5 says.
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Old 04-25-2010, 01:26 PM
 
Location: NYC
7,371 posts, read 11,556,740 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Iamthere View Post
you dont want the casual thing...you want a relationship. Cut right to the deal and tell the guy straight up.....no candy coating and you will get the response....no response? NEXT BATTER!!!!
I have a date on Thursday and I will do that. If he jets, no worries!

but I am still seeking advice on how to attract men who want a relationship.
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Old 04-25-2010, 01:27 PM
 
Location: Bradenton, Florida
27,236 posts, read 38,219,259 times
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I don't know what you can do to dissuade those sorts of men from responding. Maybe say you're looking for a relationship with someone who respects you, who will take the time to get to know you...

Are you looking for courtly love?
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Old 04-25-2010, 01:29 PM
 
Location: So Cal
37,401 posts, read 34,586,285 times
Reputation: 37544
40 yrs old dude here.


I would almost think that 45 or 50 yrs old guys would almost be just out for sex only. I say that cause most guys that age have either been in relationsips for a long time or are confirmed bachlors.
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