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She's getting remarried, certainly couples talk about why they divorced. Anyone who cheats has a reason, unless they're a serial cheater. Of course, eventually they may have divorced anyway, but he couldn't get past what she'd done. She's feeling guilty about the omission and knows this man well enough to know it'd bother him.
To some cheating would be relative to the new relationship, I'm sure you've heard the expression "once a cheater..always a cheater".
Exactly! My one friend keeps going back to her ex whom cheated on her!
I tell her she is just nuts for going back to him. This was three times! And with the same chick! WTF?! Now they have a "relationship counselor". She says its better now. I'm sorry but it seems he is using her to feed his appetites for now...then will go back to the lady he wants.
They've stayed together bc she allows the cheating, I hope she gets something from the counseling, even if he doesn't stop his pattern.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Raena77
Exactly! My one friend keeps going back to her ex whom cheated on her!
I tell her she is just nuts for going back to him. This was three times! And with the same chick! WTF?! Now they have a "relationship counselor". She says its better now. I'm sorry but it seems he is using her to feed his appetites for now...then will go back to the lady he wants.
The past is the past. Maybe this time around she'll speak with the husband before running out. If she does speak to him and nothing changes, then he's the idiot and deserves to be cheated on.
What will the new husband feel when he finds out from someone else? And, he will. There is always someone around who will let the cat out of the bag, eventually.
What will the new husband feel when he finds out from someone else? And, he will. There is always someone around who will let the cat out of the bag, eventually.
This is true.....I could see it now..."What...you did what with whom? Are you going to do this with me?"
Someone close to me is getting married a second time. Her first marriage fell apart for many reasons, but the main reason was her infidelity. She felt neglected in her marriage so she cheated. She later confessed it to her ex-husband and they could never get pass that.
Right now, she is agonizing whether or not she should have disclosed this information to her fiance. My opinion is that what happened in the first marriage is the past that doesn't need to be rehashed. She is not a perpetual cheater, she regretted cheating and wouldn't want to put herself in this position again. So I don't think she needs to tell. She feels bad that her fiance doesn't know.
What is your opinion? Don't you think that sometimes the past should stay in the past?
This information helps no one. There is no guarantee that she will repeat her past bad behavior. Telling him will only instill doubts into his mind that would not otherwise be there. Every marriage is different and everyone has the right to a fresh start. Nobody is perfect and we all make mistakes. She has the right to a clean slate.
I certainly would not tell unless he asks. Then she must be truthful and not lie about it, but to declare this information would be unwise, IMHO.
Thanks everyone for replies, interesting opinions.
If I was her, I wouldn't tell him. When her previous marriage was discussed and he asked why they got divorced, she told him that they became different people and drifted apart beyond repair, which technically is the truth. She had seen what infidelity did to her marriage and she swore to never do it again. I don't see what good it would do for her to tell him.
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This was three times! And with the same chick! WTF?! Now they have a "relationship counselor". She says its better now. I'm sorry but it seems he is using her to feed his appetites for now...then will go back to the lady he wants. 
