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I didn't try to make it seem like it's the Mother's fault that men are uneducated in relationships, it's just men aren't like that by NATURE.
Absolutely, I agree there. But they're not all poor, misguided souls who are oblivious to how wrong it is to behave like this. To suggest this would be to eliminate accountability.
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Meaning, women are more in touch with emotions and sharing those emotions, while at the same time tend to discuss relationships more often and therefore have a better understanding of them.
You just stated that it isn't about nature, but isn't that what you are suggesting here?
While this may be true, men are not incapable. There are plenty who are very much in tune with their emotions and discuss relationships quite often.
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Also, in American society (though it's evolving) men are typicall the ones to court the women into a relationship, and women are typically more passive and submissive. Now with the women's rights revolution, women now have a stronger voice and decision in who they choose as their mate, and therefore expectations have risen. Pair that along with the trend AWAY from marrying at a young age, and staying married until death, relationships are a lot more confusing for men who really don't have the opportunities to be taught certain things by society. It's just not in our nature, and society doesn't help us. Literally it's easier for women to sit back, wait for men to hit on them, and hold out for Mr. Perfect (and then complain that she hasn't found him). Men have to go the extra step, put their ego on the line (and the male ego is a significant yet fragile thing), and risk rejection by women who aren't expected to go out and put THEMselves on the line and ask out men. If they flirt, smile, talk to guys they like they haven't put it all out on the table like guys do when they ask a girl out on a date.
This really sounds more like the rantings of a bitter man. By this logic, women are also unfairly pressured by society. We are expected to not pursue men lest we be labeled as easy and unworthy. Men are not incapacited little victims. Women are putting themselves out there. They are asking men out. Internet dating is just one example; they are not all sitting back waiting for email to come in. If men are failing in relationships, it is because of their own individual hang-ups or defects.
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Of all the men in American who come across as needy or creepy, I'll bet most of them don't even know what they're doing wrong.
Just another excuse that serves to relieve them of personal responsibility. In my 40-ish years on this planet, I have seen many men totally disregard the advice that was given them about their behavior. While some people will ignore them and avoid them all together, there are others who won't put up with it. Someone, at some point, made them aware. They know what they are doing, they're not all dumb. They just don't care.
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Originally Posted by dogwalker425
I once went out with a guy I met online. We went to a hockey game. He was a decent guy, I just wasn't attracted to him (at the time I was still hung up on someone who wasn't available). At the time, I was looking for a new job and he knew that. Rather than blow him off, I told him I had a good time at the game with him but I didn't feel anything more than friendship. I tried to be as nice as possible about it because I hate hurting people. He responded with something like "I hope you find a new job that pays more." I assumed he was trying to insinuate that I only care about money. Whatever dude...
LOL. You can't control what you do or don't feel for another person. Why is that so hard to understand? *shrug*
Absolutely, I agree there. But they're not all poor, misguided souls who are oblivious to how wrong it is to behave like this. To suggest this would be to eliminate accountability.
I'm not trying to relieve accountability from everyone, I'm just saying men typically don't know what they're doing.
You just stated that it isn't about nature, but isn't that what you are suggesting here?
Got my words turned around, I meant they don't have the nurture aspect that women do in the relationship field as well as they are NATURALLY not as in tune to sharing and discussing emotions as females are.
While this may be true, men are not incapable. There are plenty who are very much in tune with their emotions and discuss relationships quite often.
I agree, I feel I'm one of them.
This really sounds more like the rantings of a bitter man. By this logic, women are also unfairly pressured by society. We are expected to not pursue men lest we be labeled as easy and unworthy. Men are not incapacited little victims. Women are putting themselves out there. They are asking men out. Internet dating is just one example; they are not all sitting back waiting for email to come in. If men are failing in relationships, it is because of their own individual hang-ups or defects.
I didn't mean to just put the blame on women, it's definitely something that wrong with both parties. It takes two to make it work. I was just explaining the typical scenario of why men will act a certain way and how easy it is for frustration to settle in or their ego to be bruised. Men's egos are more fragile than women, and it does get damaged as men "typically" are the ones puting themselves out there more and asking the women out.
For the record, I have a lot of women friends, and hardly any of them have ever asked out a guy in their entire lives. I'd say the majority of women do just sit back and pick and choose their men as they lay themselves in front of her. There are women who do the seeking, but my experience tells me many women are the sit back and wait for the man to ask them out type.
Just another excuse that serves to relieve them of personal responsibility. In my 40-ish years on this planet, I have seen many men totally disregard the advice that was given them about their behavior. While some people will ignore them and avoid them all together, there are others who won't put up with it. Someone, at some point, made them aware. They know what they are doing, they're not all dumb. They just don't care.
That's fine, I always try to take advice of others as an outside view is very important to improving yourself. Then you know who disregard advice about behavior are in the minority. The ones who do it and don't care aren't the typical well-rounded male.
LOL. You can't control what you do or don't feel for another person. Why is that so hard to understand? *shrug*
You definitely dodged a bullet with this one. The guy doesn't sound very stable. Best thing to do when you get an odd message like you did from him, is to ignore it and let it go away. To him, even negative attention is good attention, so he'll get off on any response. Eeew.
Men at no point in their lives are taught truly how women work, how to win them, and how to understand them and what is going on.
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Men don't know jack about relationships. Period.
I really don't want to go round and round in circles, but these are your assertions and that is what I am responding to. Along with the other generalizations, the comment about stalkers alone was completely off base, and quite scary to be honest. That kind of misinformation can harmful, but that is another topic. What you have expressed isn't congruent with what you say you actually mean. And what you say you actually mean, believe it or not, still paints them as being less responsible, whether that is your intention or not.
Regardless, these are your opinions and you are entitled to them.
I think he is trying to say is not put too much into many of these internet dating sites...and that many people on these sites oversell themselves.
Just giving my assessment, not being mean.
I think he is trying to say is not put too much into many of these internet dating sites...and that many people on these sites oversell themselves.
Just giving my assessment, not being mean.
You'd be right. They do. It's not life altering, just discussion.
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