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Old 06-11-2007, 03:45 PM
 
7 posts, read 13,274 times
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Me and my wife been together for 10.5 yrs. and married for 5. I got a job with a strong company (a large company and room to advance within the company)making two more dollars a hour and great benefits. We lived in NY and relocated to AZ. I wanted to get out of NY state and away from snow. I visited AZ and loved it. She visited AZ and said it was ok. We relocated and spent alot of money. it's a month later and she is home sick and wants to move back. Our relationship has been not so great in NY, so I wanted to move away and start new. What should I do?

Last edited by Diddypee; 06-11-2007 at 04:08 PM.. Reason: mistakes
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Old 06-11-2007, 04:13 PM
 
Location: California
11,425 posts, read 16,669,464 times
Reputation: 12447
It's a normal reaction to get home sick, i would give it some time, try to find something for the both of you to do that will interest her and she may get over it.
Good luck
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Old 06-11-2007, 04:15 PM
 
Location: Naptowne, Alaska
15,596 posts, read 34,568,070 times
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Show her the door, and tell her not to let it hit her in the a** when she leaves!

No...seriously...maybe if she had a short vacation back home with or without you. Maybe if she went alone she might miss you and Arizona. Maybe not. If you love her let her go. If she loves you she'll be back.
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Old 06-11-2007, 04:17 PM
 
Location: Las Vegas
13,441 posts, read 24,226,897 times
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A month isn't long enough to evaluate a new place. It's a big move. It will take some time to adjust. If you can, plan some excursions to see different things in your new area.
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Old 06-11-2007, 04:22 PM
 
7 posts, read 13,274 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rance View Post
Show her the door, and tell her not to let it hit her in the a** when she leaves!

No...seriously...maybe if she had a short vacation back home with or without you. Maybe if she went alone she might miss you and Arizona. Maybe not. If you love her let her go. If she loves you she'll be back.
I have problems with her lying to me. The point that I have with her going back is I don't trust her enough to let her go back home alone just yet.
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Old 06-11-2007, 05:01 PM
 
Location: Naptowne, Alaska
15,596 posts, read 34,568,070 times
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Well you can't keep her locked up and expect good things to happen. If she has a history of lying to you...that can't be good for the relationship either. In that case I would send her home. Like I said...if she loves you she'll be back. On her terms not yours. Because she wants to be with you, not because you "want" her there. If she ain't happy, it makes no sense keeping her around man.
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Old 06-11-2007, 05:05 PM
 
Location: Lots of sun and palm trees with occasional hurricane :)
8,292 posts, read 14,579,671 times
Reputation: 6980
Lying and not trusting? Why? Have you given her reason to have to lie? Has she done something that you have a reason not to trust?

Why did she even go to AZ with you if things were already not good?

Do you think there's hope?

I would let her go to NY. She may not come back and then you'll know for sure.
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Old 06-11-2007, 05:07 PM
 
Location: Mayberry
31,584 posts, read 12,714,733 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Diddypee View Post
I have problems with her lying to me. The point that I have with her going back is I don't trust her enough to let her go back home alone just yet.
What?? You don't trust her enough? It sounds like there are some other problems besides moving from NY to AZ which is probably a culture shock. You guys need to talk!! Really talk!!
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Old 06-11-2007, 05:34 PM
 
Location: Where the real happy cows reside!
4,281 posts, read 9,282,180 times
Reputation: 10414
Talk, talk and talk some more to eachother. Get it all out there. If you can't trust her to go back home by herself for a short time, then what is the point of being together? Trust is one of the major corner stones of a marriage. Let her go back to NY. She'll either be back in AZ in no time or you'll be living and loving life in AZ by yourself.

Good luck!
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Old 06-11-2007, 05:49 PM
 
Location: Tucson, AZ
1,696 posts, read 3,057,838 times
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The same two things jumped out at me, too: 1) A month isn't enough time to fairly judge a new place. Homesickness is normal. 2) If you had problems in New York, and simply thought moving to Arizona was going to solve them, then all you did was bring your problems with you.

You two need to do your level best to get on the same page, and quick. Good luck- I hope you two can pull through.
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