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I think the idea of making a good marriage "better" by going to counseling is just a part of the alarming trend of medicalization we see in this society.
Is counseling considered medical if there are no drugs invovled, just talking?
And I think that counselor is kind of copping out. People don't go to marriage counseling unless there is a problem or the beginnings of a problem. He pretty much said he can't help anyone if they have a problem. I mean, seriously? Then you're bad at your job. I mean of course I think its 90% the couple wanting to do the work, but you have to guide them as a counselor. Of course, most people don't want to do the work, just want to say they "tried everything", now they can finally get out and move onto someone "better". But saying that it's nearly impossible to come back after things have gone bad, is the most pessimistic thing ever, especially from a conselor who's job it is to give people hope and help them...
Is counseling considered medical if there are no drugs invovled, just talking?
Medically, no. But medicalization is a social phenomenon, not a medical one, and it applies to all kinds of therapy, even those that don't involve drugs or consultation with a physician. Medicalization is a process by which increasingly, life's ordinary difficulties are seen as not merely problems, but pathology. It is characterized by an ever-increasing involvement of "specialists" in addressing such problems. And in fact, when it comes to medicalization, psychotherapy and its off-shoots are the biggest culprits.
My husband and I sometimes joke that we need to seek professional help because he makes me giggles so much that my belly aches.
But, for the OP's question...no, going to therapy would do nothing for our already (honestly) great marriage. However, I am open to anything of that sort if someone/a couple needs to seek our help.
Medically, no. But medicalization is a social phenomenon, not a medical one, and it applies to all kinds of therapy, even those that don't involve drugs or consultation with a physician. Medicalization is a process by which increasingly, life's ordinary difficulties are seen as not merely problems, but pathology. It is characterized by an ever-increasing involvement of "specialists" in addressing such problems. And in fact, when it comes to medicalization, psychotherapy and its off-shoots are the biggest culprits.
I figured that's what you meant. I don't know if that's nessesarily negative, though. Sure, a lot of people go to counseling when they don't "need" But what's realy wrong with that if it makes them feel better to talk about what they ate for lunch today and why thier coworker is rude to them, etc? I see a serious issue with taking a pill for every single little thing, but not with seeing a therapist for every little thing.
I see a serious issue with taking a pill for every single little thing, but not with seeing a therapist for every little thing.
I do, although I wouldn't go so far as to characterize it as a "serious" problem. Why would a person need a therapist for every little thing? More so, why would a couple? Why not confide in your spouse and vice versa? That's what marriage is about, loving and helping one another and becoming a strong, supportive single unit. I don't need a mediator to listen to my problems; that's what my husband is for.
I figured that's what you meant. I don't know if that's nessesarily negative, though. Sure, a lot of people go to counseling when they don't "need" But what's realy wrong with that if it makes them feel better to talk about what they ate for lunch today and why thier coworker is rude to them, etc? I see a serious issue with taking a pill for every single little thing, but not with seeing a therapist for every little thing.
I believe what's wrong with seeing a therapist for every little thing is that it ultimately trains people to think that they are incapable of going through life without a "specialist" standing over them. At the same time, it gives them a basis for disclaiming responsibility for the failure or success of their own relationships; sort of like a bad student blaming his teachers for his lack of academic success. Also, as I stated before, in therapy every problem becomes a pathology, and once you view it as a pathology, the likelihood of it being permanent grows exponentially; it's a psychological reaction to labeling something a disease. It's not something that will happen in the course of a few sessions or if only a few couples are doing it -- but if our culture changes to make counseling a permanent fixture in marital life, and a counselor a permanent partner in a marriage, I think that would be a big problem.
I went to college with a lot of rich kids. For them, it seems, going to therapy is a cultural phenomenon; it's pretty standard. Most of these people I met had been in therapy since early childhood and most of them were seriously messed up. It's impossible to determine for a fact which came first, but since their long-term therapy was more a function of wealth than need, I would venture a guess that in the long run, therapy creates more problems than it solves (if indeed, it solves any at all). By the way, one of the biggest manifestations of those kids' "messed-upness" was the irresistible urge to analyze ad nauseam other people's behavior and their own feelings.
I can't think of a single reason for us to go to counseling. We would bore the therapist to death within minutes and he/she would kick us out. We are rock solid.
You know, that reminds me. Every Spring, we get a flurry of calls from Air Conditioning services wanting to come in and perform a checkup on our HVAC system. What they really do, however, is root around, look for problems, and then recommend major repairs.
Sounds like a marriage counselor trying to drum up business.
Personally, I think there's nothing a marriage counselor can do that old-fashioned common sense and consideration can't.
I agree completely about the drumming up business part.
I don't know about the nothing they can do part, though. Some people really need someone outside their relationship to put a mirror to their face and say, "This is how you are acting." Some people just have to pay for insight.
therapy creates more problems than it solves (if indeed, it solves any at all)
Really? You think there's a chance that therapy never helps anyone solve any problem(s)? Everything else: I see where you're coming from.
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