Ladies what is your defenition of a Gentleman? (loving, husbands, family)

[Toxiclove]

Pride and Prejudice. Mr. Darcy!!!

[fleetiebelle]

The men who want to be chivalrous do so because they like feeling big, strong, and in charge. They get just as much out of it as we do.

I was just in the breakroom, and the bottle on the water cooler needed to be changed. So I pluck the old one off, and pick up the new one and set it on the chair to take the lid/sticker off. Immediately the IT guys who were chatting across the room come running over, "let me help!" "you should have asked!" Can I change the water bottle? Of course I can. Did I let the guy do it for me? You betcha. He wanted to save the day, so I let him. Everyone wins.

[Urban Sasquatch]

Originally Posted by MattB4

I am sorry but your knowledge of the animal kingdom is wrong. Birds and reptilians have elaborate courtship rituals wherein a male seeks to attract a female. But mammals rarely do. Amongst the primates, females mate with the dominate male by his choice to do so. I do not think women would want men beating their breast and attacking all other males to drive them off. Meanwhile gathering as many females into his group as possible. But I might be wrong. Might be that women do want to be part of such a grouping since it is proper primate behavior. Is that what you want your mate to do, accumulate as many breeding females as possible?

It is amusing that humans look at the birds to create courtship rituals from. Must have fascinated early primitives when the ability to observe and compare became possible.

Are you actually listening to what you're saying? Have you thought this through?

Think Currency and Sex.

The female primate has sex to grant. Now... what might that dominaNt(-e) male's currency be?

Further, cheating is well-documented among primates of all levels, from monkey to ape (since we're talking animal rather than human), and NOT with only dominant males. Bribery has even been documented among them, with males currying favor with food and tidbits, cheating when out of sight of the pack dominant male, even being busted at it with a lesser male sometimes being killed by the dominant male.

Yep, sounds like it's all the Dominant Male's choice who she has sex with, doesn't it?

Oh, wait -- no it doesn't.

Rejected -- resubmit in 90 days.

[nan5623]

Originally Posted by Cherie Tebo

A definition of a gentleman to me is someone who holds the door for me while I walk through.Someone who pulls out my chair when we're dining out.Someone who helps me on with my coat/jacket.Someone who shows respect for me and others.A gentleman is someone who never forces me to do anything I don't wish to do.

Great post.. I agree.

[Cherie Tebo]

A man who's Chivalrous.A man who treats me with respect and makes me feel special.A man who has manners.

[Urban Sasquatch]

Originally Posted by Cherie Tebo

A man who's Chivalrous.A man who treats me with respect and makes me feel special.A man who has manners.

Okay, I gotta ask -- how does this hypothetical man make you feel special, aside from the earlier stipulation of not making you do anything you don't want to do?

[le roi]

Originally Posted by Urban Sasquatch

Okay, I gotta ask -- how does this hypothetical man make you feel special, aside from the earlier stipulation of not making you do anything you don't want to do?

oh c'mon, they're not supposed to think about how or why it happens.

[Urban Sasquatch]

Originally Posted by le roi

oh c'mon, they're not supposed to think about how or why it happens.

Well, thing is, le roi, I believe in gentlemanly conduct. I think certain aspects of it contain elements of chivalry. I believe there's more than one way to be a gentleman, even. I think everyone is raised differently and so what constitutes a gentleman for one woman might be remarkably different from the imago held by another woman.

Where it always gets a mite tetchy for me is when things like "feel special" leaves the realm of a MATE and becomes part of what constitutes a gentleman. I can see how a gentleman could make a woman "feel special", I surely can -- but not where "makes me feel special" becomes a gentlemanly qualification.

I mean no offense to the poster I was quoting when I say that "not making me do anything I don't want to do" COULD mean doesn't belittle me, goad me into distasteful activities, which I would mark as simply human decency (indeed, a quality a gentleman would possess); or it could mean what it says quite literally, in which case it reads less like a gentleman and more like a sugar-daddy.

Hence, the question.

[jimbms]

Ok I feel I need to answer this one fully, myself and she who must be obeyed (that’s a big clue for you) got together 28 years ago and even though we both had jobs that had us in charge it soon became pretty clear who the dominant partner was. A year later we got married into what was a female led marriage, she took the promise to obey part out and I had it put in. Many will say it is a Dominant/submissive relationship, so be it, in all these years we have remained faithful and loving to each other and not felt the need to do the making me dress in her stuff or her going out to get lovers thing, being the submissive partner does not mean you have to have no balls, in fact quite the opposite.
I feel that some people wrongfully classify subversive men as weak men. Somewhere along the line, they have been wrongly told that submission in a man is weak. It is my opinion that we are the strongest of men.
As a truly submissive man I am a protector, a servant, a planner, as well as a graceful reflection of my Dominant Partner. I am conscious that my appearance is reflection of her and therefore endeavour myself to always be well put together. I am a silent reflection of her strength and a supporter of her dreams and goals.
As a submissive man I act with dignity, in fact I act with the dignity of the best butler…anticipating her needs because I know her. I know she drinks a cup of tea before bed and strive to have it waiting for her when she retires. I know after a long day she will need a foot rub and at weekend a massage so I have learned to do these. I know after a bad day she want to have someone to moan and complain to without having an opinion or interruption, so I do that. I will always take her word as law and never question it and will always do as she asks.
I strive to posses the best of manners, and what I mean by this goes way deeper than what the general society believes. I go shopping with her and carry her bags, I always open the door for her, I pull out her chair every time, no matter the location. I stand when she leaves the dinner table, even when we are alone. I realise that my manners are a reflection of my deep gratitude for her.
As a submissive man I am a gentleman first. I am honourable. I don’t act out in order to seek what might be an enjoyable sexual favour or punishment. In fact, a punishment is never enjoyable; it’s a failing to please my Mistress. And it’s never fun.
The fun comes not only from the deep service I provide, but also when I am alone with my Mistress and a scene evolves. She knows me well and because I am indispensible to her, she will make every fantasy I have come true. When I am ill she cares for me deeply she forbids me to do a thing, it is at those moment I know how much she appreciates me.
She values me tremendously. I am not less than her, but an extension of her. I am invaluable because even though I am submissive to her, I am not submissive to everyone. I serve her and only her (mind you we have had a little fun in that with some of her female friends occasionally as she has a little bi tendency which I am happy to indulge her with), and in that service comes a sense of joy and purpose. It also defines me as a man, a strong man, a submissive man.

Anyway that is my opinion as a Manxman, maybe you lot across the pond have a more primitive chest thumping attitude but this has worked for almost 30 years for us so that alone says something. So maybe ladies you need to training your men to be real men and appreciate you.

[JustJulia]

When you explain it that way, Urb, I agree with you. A gentleman holding a door open for me doesn't make me feel special; he does that for every woman. My husband makes me feel special but in ways I do not expect from others.