Hi honey I'm home, ok see you in 3 or 4 hours, (every night) (girls, lover)

[NCyank]

Originally Posted by lionking

her~ring ring "hello?"

LK~ "hey its LK, what's up how have you been?"

her~ "ok blah blah blah, how about you?"

LK~ "great! , I'm doing great, you know work, do stuff around the house sometimes, play guitat mostly. Been learning White Lion's version of Radar Love, slowly I'm getting the solo down note for note, I work on it a hour a day for the last two weeks"

her~ "cool"

LK~ "hey, I am going to see a band at a place tonight, they have awesome buffalo wings, we can hang and eat and drink and shoot pool, maybe stay the night at my place tehehe?"

her~ "yeah ok, normally it is $200 a hour but how about $100 a hour?"

LOL, that's about what you've left yourself with.

If you want a woman to be there only when you want, not to distract you with silly things like calling you on the phone every few days or expecting you to pay some reasonable amount of attention to her then you have seriously limited your options. A pro doesn't care if you only call her up on weekends when you are in the mood. You can request someone with the appearance that you want and she won't be a distraction for you.

Seriously, any other commitment is going to cost you some effort and time on your part and you don't want to do that. The in your post seems to indicate that you don't want to pay monetary costs for a professional relationship that would meet all of your requirements.

What other options do you have?

[lionking]

Originally Posted by NCyank

If you want a woman to be there only when you want, not to distract you with silly things like calling you on the phone every few days or expecting you to pay some reasonable amount of attention to her
What other options do you have?

I don't mind being called on the phone sometimes, I like the idea of her saying lets do something tonight. What I can't deal with is answering her call and getting bitched at and explaining myself to 50 f***ing questions.

I never said to her I was looking for a serious deal I said I am looking for a FWB. I told her she is awesome, I like her and I want to know her, as a great friend. She developed that in her mind into something else. I don't know what I am going to do if she calls again, I think I may just ignore her and move on.

I am seeing in her now a chick with issues, potentially moody, and potentially psycho.

[20yrsinBranson]

Originally Posted by lionking

Yes, your kid if you have one is more important than you or the special other. It is why I remained "childfree" and shy away from a woman with kids. Isn't it why we often read replies to a person thinking about getting a divorce "think of the kids". Isn't it why so many who want a divorce don't because of the kids? Some do go ahead and split, a good many don't.

People may have been divorced 5 times, maybe with kids, they refer to the divorced as "ex", they don't refer to the kids as "ex". So seems to me, yes, kids are more important than the special other in the grand scheme.

Most likely they got divorced because they put their children above their spouse. One day their children will be grown and have their own lives and they will have nothing but an empty bed and lots of photographs to look at.

Hey, if that works for them, great. Personally, I think it would stink.

To each his own.

20yrsinBranson

[cpg35223]

You know, Khalil Gibran was a hack poet. But he did write one true thing, "Be apart in your togetherness." In that sense, there's a big difference between being together and being suffocating.

If you are a musician, writer, motorcycle enthusiast, golfer, woodworker, or fisherman, then that's part of what makes you the person your spouse married. It's not as if you walked back down the aisle after saying, "I do," and announced to your spouse, "You know what? I think I'm going to take up tennis now!"

Now, as somebody who devotes at least an hour daily to my writing, I don't apologize for disappearing upstairs while my wife is watching television. And if you're really begrudging your spouse an hour a day with his or her hobby, has it occurred to you that you are a bit of a control freak who really doesn't care about your SO's happiness?

At the same time, balance is important. our spouse and family comes first. The avocation comes second. People who don't understand this risk losing the most important thing in their lives.

[SactoBankerGirl]

Originally Posted by lionking

I don't mind being called on the phone sometimes, I like the idea of her saying lets do something tonight. What I can't deal with is answering her call and getting bitched at and explaining myself to 50 f***ing questions.

I never said to her I was looking for a serious deal I said I am looking for a FWB. I told her she is awesome, I like her and I want to know her, as a great friend. She developed that in her mind into something else. I don't know what I am going to do if she calls again, I think I may just ignore her and move on.

I am seeing in her now a chick with issues, potentially moody, and potentially psycho.

She isn't a chick with issues. She just wanted something different out of the relationship than you did. You wanted a booty call and she wanted a relationship. That doesn't make her psycho, it makes her incompatible for you. You should definitely move on.

BUT, be aware of this; the clock is ticking. I'm sure you have women crawling all over you now. But, if you're not careful, they might disappear one day. It won't be so easy to have them at your beck and call in 5, 10 or 20 years. You won't be the hip, sexy guitar player. You will be the cranky, set-in-his-ways older guy clinging to a younger man's lifestyle.

I'm just saying, gather ye rosebuds while ye may.....

[Ticatica]

Originally Posted by lionking

ok . So how many of you can/would deal with this as in often being put on the back burner by your special other because he/she has something else to their attention? It isn't that I don't love you, it is just there is something in my life I love besides you, get it?

Originally Posted by lionking

I don't mind being called on the phone sometimes, I like the idea of her saying lets do something tonight. What I can't deal with is answering her call and getting bitched at and explaining myself to 50 f***ing questions.

I never said to her I was looking for a serious deal I said I am looking for a FWB. I told her she is awesome, I like her and I want to know her, as a great friend. She developed that in her mind into something else. I don't know what I am going to do if she calls again, I think I may just ignore her and move on.

I am seeing in her now a chick with issues, potentially moody, and potentially psycho.

Your opening statements aren't even close to matching your closing statements. So how is she psycho? The first suggests you're a nice guy in love with a nice girl but by the end you sound like a gameplaying user. The woman you loved you are now going to ignore her call and move on?

[BriInNH]

I will give up my fiance before I give up drumming....hate to say it

[CESpeed]

Originally Posted by cpg35223

You know, Khalil Gibran was a hack poet. But he did write one true thing, "Be apart in your togetherness." In that sense, there's a big difference between being together and being suffocating.

If you are a musician, writer, motorcycle enthusiast, golfer, woodworker, or fisherman, then that's part of what makes you the person your spouse married. It's not as if you walked back down the aisle after saying, "I do," and announced to your spouse, "You know what? I think I'm going to take up tennis now!"

Now, as somebody who devotes at least an hour daily to my writing, I don't apologize for disappearing upstairs while my wife is watching television. And if you're really begrudging your spouse an hour a day with his or her hobby, has it occurred to you that you are a bit of a control freak who really doesn't care about your SO's happiness?

There is a difference between an hour and walking in the door and disappearing until bedtime every night. I would never have a hobby that was so time consuming and expect a man to be standing around waiting for some attention from me or sending him off o do something else because I can't take an hour out of my day to spend with him.

People who want to have a second career dominate their time should not be surprised when they remain single and/or every SO cheats on them.

At the same time, balance is important. our spouse and family comes first. The avocation comes second. People who don't understand this risk losing the most important thing in their lives.

The OP wants his cake adn eat it, too. People like him are the reason prostitution should be legal.

[lionking]

Originally Posted by Ticatica

Your opening statements aren't even close to matching your closing statements. So how is she psycho? The first suggests you're a nice guy in love with a nice girl but by the end you sound like a gameplaying user. The woman you loved you are now going to ignore her call and move on?

Nice guy and girl in love? Maybe you all, my question to you all was for whatever situation you are in.

Me, I am not in love. I told her what the siutation was, she chose to develop in her mind something else, to the point of yes, being border line psycho.

[j_jimerino]

Originally Posted by spinx

Is that a serious question? It's pretty self explanitory.

Because it pays the bills and is a necessary evil.

I'm just trying to understand the priority system being used here, it seems based on time.

What if he got a part time job. Then he could work 4 hours a day, play guitar for 4 hours and hang out with you for 4 hours. Probably couldn't afford to go out as much and might have to live in a cheaper place though.

As it stands now the priority system is:
1) Work
2) Relationship
3) Hobby