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Old 05-06-2010, 11:07 PM
 
47,585 posts, read 39,758,944 times
Reputation: 21717

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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
Well, the first thing you would want to do IF and when you fell in love with a black woman and you were feeling pretty good about it being long term is to give your dad time to adjust to the idea.

You start off by telling him one day that you have met a very nice lady you think you want to date seriously, and oh, by the way, she is black.

About a month later you mention it again and tell him her name.

About a month after that you start casually mentioning her name in conversation every time you talk to him.

This way, by the time you take her to meet him he's about as ready as he's going to be
Yes - you would not want to put her through anything that was about a surprise, and anyone who would make it a surprise meeting would likely have ulterior motives.

Like wanting to see the look on his face -- and not caring about the discomfort of the girl.

 
Old 05-07-2010, 12:51 AM
 
Location: Portlandia "burbs"
8,939 posts, read 8,835,060 times
Reputation: 21363
Quote:
Originally Posted by cuinlalaland View Post
Whenever I meet a new black woman that I like this thought always pops into my head: "If this progresses, how am I going to handle the introduction between her and my dad?"

How have other interracial couples dealt with this?

I don't know how old you are but are you at a place in life where you're ready for committment? And are you mature enough to handle stressful challenges as this one?

You should definitely not introduce her to your father until you've had a few chances to forewarn him. He may need to realize that you're serious about her. The "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?" strategy could per-plunk by shocking your father and humiliating your girlfriend.

If your relationship develops into something serious, you may have to make some uncomfortable choices. This is America and your father cannot make your choices for you. Either he will make an effort to stay close to his son or he will end up forcing you to make a choice.

I guess you're about to find out how adaptable your father will be.

Also, I hope you informed your girlfriend about him.
 
Old 05-07-2010, 04:39 AM
 
Location: Central, IL
3,407 posts, read 2,335,744 times
Reputation: 1353
Quote:
Originally Posted by cuinlalaland View Post
Whenever I meet a new black woman that I like this thought always pops into my head: "If this progresses, how am I going to handle the introduction between her and my dad?"

How have other interracial couples dealt with this?
contrary to poplular belief, many interracial couples never have to deal with this.
 
Old 05-07-2010, 05:15 AM
 
Location: Incognito
6,994 posts, read 14,016,272 times
Reputation: 5326
Been there, done that.
 
Old 05-07-2010, 05:49 AM
 
Location: St Thomas, US Virgin Islands
24,673 posts, read 32,503,684 times
Reputation: 25629
Don't you have enough relationship drama going on without looking for a hypothetical situation to start a thread on? Your Dad might not even be alive if and when you ever have a serious interracial relationship. Remember the old adage - don't sweat the petty stuff, pet the sweaty stuff ...
 
Old 05-07-2010, 06:46 AM
 
Location: Whiteville Tennessee
8,257 posts, read 12,158,437 times
Reputation: 9815
Just wrap her in the Confederate Battle Flag and knock on the front door! Dad will be so confused he wont know what to think!
 
Old 05-07-2010, 06:58 AM
 
Location: North America
1,089 posts, read 1,528,964 times
Reputation: 1094
Quote:
Originally Posted by starsfalling View Post
Do you have a gf? You were just talking about some 25 year old that behaved oddly according to you a day ago. Is this the 18 year old that you think is fun? I wouldn't call that a gf? Until you actually have one, I wouldn't sweat the intro stuff.
Mooooving on. Once I found out that the 25 year old's behavior had nothing to do with me personally, I wasn't upset anymore.

Quote:
I guess you're about to find out how adaptable your father will be.

Also, I hope you informed your girlfriend about him.
He's been an a-hole his entire life so I don't really care what he thinks. My only concern is to make the bare essential family gatherings as pleasant for her as possible.
 
Old 05-07-2010, 07:01 AM
 
3,261 posts, read 3,197,679 times
Reputation: 3913
Quote:
Originally Posted by cuinlalaland View Post
Whenever I meet a new black woman that I like this thought always pops into my head: "If this progresses, how am I going to handle the introduction between her and my dad?"

How have other interracial couples dealt with this?
Assuming that you care enough for her that you would want to introduce her to your family, why not first ask HER if she evens wants to meet him given his bigotry?

Secondly, in this scenario, why not TELL your father about who your dating and guage his reaction?

If neither seem to be willing to meet each other in a respectful manner, then you will have to make a decision which relationship you are willing to take the "risk" for.
 
Old 05-07-2010, 07:01 AM
 
Location: Incognito
6,994 posts, read 14,016,272 times
Reputation: 5326
Better yet, tell the old man you met her at a KKK rally.
 
Old 05-07-2010, 07:04 AM
 
Location: Houston, Texas
10,427 posts, read 32,782,709 times
Reputation: 9835
I suspect what you both have now will not last long enough to bring this to your Dad. So wait. I say this because as a whitey I dated a black girl about 7 years ago. She was the hottest thing on legs. We used to go to the casino several times a week to play the Horses and enjoy the free drinks...we both loved to gamble the Horse racing cards. As we walked, men turned their heads. She had long straight hair, pretty face, legs up to her armpits with real natural extra large chest. She towered above my 5'8".

In time our lust for each other was overshadowed by our cultural differences. She was the stereotypical African American gal. I hated her music, her taste in food and her loud mouth in a crowd. In the end we parted ways but I will never forget what she could do in the intimacy department. Holly Moses!!!
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