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Hi, I'm Kevin. I love being outdoors, exercising, spending time with friends, exploring new stuff, cooking spaghetti sauce, etc. I make a pretty decent sangria and I'm working on my mojitos.
You may have noticed from my pics that I don't always dress like a Kevin. Yes, I have come to terms with the fact that I'm what you might call a cross-dresser or a transvestite, meaning I like to dress in clothes designed for the opposite sex. It's pretty harmless. Either way, I'm not into labels. Call me what you will; at the end of the day I'm just me and I make no apologies for it. I just had an urge to be really honest and upfront so this post is kind of a tribute to my cross-dressing.
I've written posts about cross-dressing before, but I've had trouble really putting my thoughts together or being able to explain why some people, mostly men, choose to put on women's clothes so here's my newest attempt, but this time just explaining why I do it. My question to you is ,"How would you react if you found out your son, grandson, nephew, or best guy friend was a cross-dresser?" I'm always interested in how people respond to things that are a bit out-of-the-ordinary...
Why do I do it? I had a great childhood with lots of opportunities and wonderful parents and, looking back, I wish I could repeat it. I was a fairly regular boy: I loved drawing dinosaurs and firetrucks, played soccer and joined cub scouts, learned to ride a bike (I was a slow learner) and played the trumpet, though not very well. In the winter I skied and in the summer I participated in summer recreation. Take away my Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle lunchbox, blue t-shirts and toy guns (and all the other stuff that defined me as a boy) and I was just a quiet, painfully shy, affectionate, gentle, little guy who loved cuddling with animals and his Cabbage Patch doll. Though the times have changed (bye bye Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles) and so have I (where'd my plastic lunchbox go?), much of who I was still remains. There's a newfound creative side that loves expressing itself and it's in direct opposition to my awkward, sometimes childlike shyness that feels it has so much to hide.
I like being a guy. I like being able to pee standing up. Being a male or female is its own experience; it can be a gift for some and a nightmare for others. Somewhere, somehow it became apparent to me that I had a "feminine" side that was starting to take a stand. It's always been there--I just never cared to or knew how to define it. I guess I still don't know how to define it, but more importantly I want to explore it. You only live once.
What is "feminine"? You might say that my childhood introverted, flower-picking, doll-cuddling qualities are feminine, but none of these is wholly or exclusively masculine or feminine. Nothing is entirely masculine or feminine. Our often pointless and outdated gender roles have been constructed, enforced, reinforced and cemented for centuries without much review or consideration for anything inbetween or outside. My "feminine" side is kind of like the ying to my yang. It's a black to my white and it's put me in somewhat of a gray area that makes some people very uncomfortable. So, again, why do I cross-dress? Why bring dresses and heels into this?
Creativity. Humor. Fun. It's a fairly obvious, unique, visual representation of how I'm feeling at the moment. The psychology behind it is rarely "fairly obvious" to people I meet, but I don't do it for them. I cross-dress for me. It's a blend of genders, emotions and colors and an acknowledgement of my many different sides. In some ways it's like a tattoo come to life. It's animated and expressive.
I'd be lying if I said it wasn't also a turn-on. I'm a pretty kinky person and cross-dressing suits that side quite well.
It's also fun. Consider the wide range of colors, fabrics, styles and items readily available to females. The next time you go to the mall count all the stores devoted to women's shoes, jewelry, bags, accessories, clothes, makeup, etc. Think of all the possibilities! Men's clothing pales in comparison.
There are a lot of misconceptions about cross-dressers (CDs), namely that we're gay and dress up solely to attract men or that our ultimate goal is to undergo sex reassignment surgery (SRS). While this can be the case for some (and that's fine with me) most CDs are straight and have no interest in becoming women. Others consider it unhealthy and perverted and while I definitely am a bit of a perv (and I love it), there's nothing unhealthy about cross-dressing. Being able to understand and express yourself is healthy. Of course it can consume people, but like most things, it's about striking a balance and living a well-adjusted life. It's about compromise as well.
I dress about once or twice a month. I like going the whole nine yards--shaving my legs, applying makeup, putting on a wig, dress, and heels--in order to go out to a club or bar. I've met a lot of great people along the way and learned so much more about myself and what I'm capable of than I ever thought possible just a few years ago. In many ways it's been a blessing in disguise. It certainly hasn't always been easy. There's something to be said for putting it all on the line and making yourself vulnerable both when you look in the mirror and when you go out in public dressed as the opposite sex. It's exciting--you don't know what to expect, but you're doing your best to be true to yourself.
That's why I do it. =)
So how would you respond if you found out your son, grandson, father, nephew, or best guy friend was a cross-dresser? I'm not talking about a husband or boyfriend, but feel free to respond to that as well. I've met many CDs over the past couple of years and they've ranged from very stereotypical feminine gay men to very stereotypical macho masculine military men.
If you've got lots of free time, feel free to watch my video.
Didn't like the yellow shoes but where did you get that dress from (it's beautiful). Is there a statement you're trying to make since the yellow clashes with the black? It's not the colors but the style of the shoes.
You look good man. I hope you can find others to share with. I'm an older female that likes to dress like what you were wearing.
I have 2 sons and if they did this it wouldn't bother me at all.
Your face is handsome and features striking.
Good luck to you.
Last edited by tyvin; 05-10-2010 at 01:39 AM..
Reason: input about sons
Didn't like the yellow shoes but where did you get that dress from (it's beautiful). Is there a statement you're trying to make since the yellow clashes with the black? It's not the colors but the style of the shoes.
The dress is from Forever 21...$20 or so and they have other colors too. It might still be available on their website (www.forever21.com). The shoes, yeah I have a thing for bright sneakers.
If i ever found out my dad, son or brother dressed in drags ..my first reaction will be morbid .. however its their life their choice and theres nothing i could do about it ..but whenever they'd call for assistance i'll be there for them regardless of where i am or what i think about their interests.
Well you do make a beautiful woman! My view is this; as long as you're not hurting anyone, abusing animals, or breaking any laws. Go for it, be yourself and don't ever try to fit into a mold of what you're supposed to be. BTW that took guts
I don't care as long as you don't impact my life. Date my daughter and that would be another story. My, personal, feelings are something is wrong that causes this and sooner or later it will come to the suface so I don't want my daughter to have to deal with it. As long as you're not dragging someone who is unsuspecting into it and not hurting anyone, do what you want.
Too bad I don't have sound, I can watch the video but not hear it. Something's wrong with the mother board on my computer and I don't have the cash to replace it.
I say just be yourself. If others have a problem with it, then the problem lies within them, not you. I know a man, hetero, church-going, republican, the whole nine yards that secretly cross dresses. He is not gay either. I don't understand it, but I certainly don't condemn it.
Just don't look to others for affirmation or nice words because the bottom line is we all have to be happy with ourselves and learn to accept ourselves.
It's the person underneath who matters. Not the clothes.
As the Wiccans say, "If it harms none, do what thou wilt".
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