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Old 05-16-2010, 03:53 AM
 
Location: Hawaii
1,589 posts, read 1,406,436 times
Reputation: 2106

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The problem isn't the photos or lack thereof. The real problem is that you don't know how he feels about you. You've been seeing him for 2 years and are now living with him, sharing your bed with him every night and yet you have no idea how he feels about you or what his intentions are towards you.

I don't think that's an emotionally healthy situation for any women to be in. Personally, that would make me feel terrible. Two years is a long time to be in limbo. If it were me, I would move out and get my own place.
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Old 05-17-2010, 10:39 AM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX, USA
5,126 posts, read 7,153,253 times
Reputation: 2437
Quote:
Originally Posted by LaoTzuMindFu View Post
Yeah, you should probably be a bit concerned. But, dont worry. If you have any pictures of him, just post them on your own Facebook account and be sure to tag him in those pictures (all of his FB friends will see them) and make sure you put description of "Me and my boyfriend ...." or "My boyfriend and I at ....". If he complains or have a problem with it then you KNOW something is going on. At that point you can ask for an explanation and/or you can break up with him.
Exactly!
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Old 05-17-2010, 11:09 AM
GLS
 
1,990 posts, read 3,472,187 times
Reputation: 2323
Quote:
Originally Posted by jrzgrl5432 View Post
I dont want to sound juvenile here, and I considered the idea that I may be overanalyzing (which I tend to do from time to time), but I'm a little bothered that my boyfriend of 2 years has no pictures of me that others can see. I know it sounds stupid, but not one on facebook, in his wallet or at work. He has pictures of me in his phone and takes plenty of pictures of us any other time but nothing that publicly acknowledges us as a couple.

At first when he found out that I had pictures of him posted, he wasn't mad but sad he doesn't like his picture being online and asked me "not to get carried away with it." Let me be clear... I have not created an altar dedicated to him online and there are only a handfull of pics of him/us. Its more pictures of my friends and I than of he and I... but just a few little captured moments that I am proud of.... that I kind of wanted to show off and share with my friends.

He is new to FB and has fewer than 20 friends and it took him forever to join, like he was giving in to the darkside by opening a Facebook. I know he is a private type of person, and all of his "friends" are family or friends that I know. He doesn't even have pictures of himself. He says he basically just wants to use it to connect more with his family. He even tells me about the people who send him friend requests and he ignores them...male and female. I believe all of that to be true.

Also, I rarely go to his page and didn't even know how many friends he had until I brought it up last night, which of course led to a small arguement. I told him I thought of it as just a little show of pride or a "trophy"....something you're proud of. I said that "chicks like that type of thing," trying to keep it light hearted. When I half jokingly said that "maybe he didn't want some of his friends back home to know about me" he got offended (maybe rightfully so) and told me "that was all in my head" and "Have I seen his friends? They all know me." Even all of his immediate co-workers know me and we have gotten together with them many times.

I certainly didn't want this to turn into a fight and I'm not "mad" about it, just a little hurt I guess... and I dont think he understands why. I trust him and dont think that he's doing anything shady, but I cant help but wonder why he doesn't want to post even just one picture of me or the two of us. I just look at it as he's proud to show the people in his social circle "this is my girl." When I tried to explain that point of view, and tell him how I felt it just didn't come out right. He said that he thinks that FB is High School BS and he was thinking of deleting his account anyway, but if he didn't delete it, he'd add pictures when he was ready...????? Ready for what...if its just Facebook and High Schoolish... than what is there to be ready about? Are we talking about FB or something more...Or am I overanalyzing this?

The last thing I'll add (and this could be key... or nothing) is that he was in a bad marriage that led to a divorce, but that has been over for years now. But in the beginning of our relationship, when I had pictures of him on FB, he would say he didn't want his ex to have anyway of finding out. I assured him I wasn't friends with anyone she was connected to and my account was locked up like Ft. Knox... since then he's more comfortable with it all, has seen all of my pictures and never mentions his ex. Infact, we now live together and get along great. I know he loves me, and I'm really not trying to **** on my territory, but there is still that little spark of my imagination wondering "Is he really "just that private" or is he not ready to broadcast our relationship?" Is he still unsure of where this is heading? Is he still keeping his options open? Or are men really much more simple than all of that and I'm letting my imagination get the best of me by putting too much thought into this? Either way, my ego takes a very small hit on this topic. Do I have a right to feel that way? Should I be concerned? Or should I let it go and stop putting anymore thought into it?

Sorry this was so lengthy, but thanks for hanging in there with me...
My overly simplistic comments are as follows:

1. He appears to be a very private person. He did not want to join
facebook, and has limited his participation. The salient point is that he
is not treating you any different than the standards he holds for himself.
He is uncomfortable with having his own picture on FB, so why would he
want to post yours?

2. If this is really important to you, be creative in thinking of a way to
satisfy yourself, but respect his privacy. For example, you could give
him a small picture of yourself in a nice frame, and let him know you
thought he might like something to look at when you aren't around. If
he does not put it in an intimate area such as his dresser or nightstand,
then you may be correct that there are other issues than the
embarassment of a FB display.

3. Some type of reasonable compromise that acknowledges your feelings is
up to you and him to discuss. Unfortunately, posting it on CD invites a
few people with the need to abuse and insult you.

Good luck.
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Old 07-18-2010, 08:47 PM
 
1 posts, read 9,895 times
Reputation: 11
Thumbs up You are all giving bad advice...totally!!!

Ok, first of all people, any man who does not admit to the world hat he is in love or has a girlfriend is a sneaK, a liar, a cheat, etc. You name it.
If he is just too lazy to put a photo up, ok. If he barely uses fb, ok. But if he does not put a photo up because of an ex...he doesn't want to hurt the ex's feelings but is ok with hurting the current girl? There is a red flag there that no one is seeing. I have seen DOZENS of facebooks and everyone has at least one photo of their love. Thats what fb is all about, friends, family, and loved ones. He is hiding you from someone...keeping himself open, in a way, so it does not look like he is that serious about you, though he may be quite serious. He is just protecting both ends, like the cake and eat it, too, type of men. Those ones suck but they are a part of this game in life, unfortunately. ok, MY boyfriend turned out to be the biggest liar and fake I ever knew. He never posted any pics of me, but had his exes as friends on his fb. He told me he never uses fb, but I could see everytime he added a new friend...yes it is public knowledge. He was keeping the exes smiling and giving him hope...while keeping me quiet and happy at home. Playing both sides...also adding new girls he'd meet at work....AND calling them! (one turned out to be a friend of a friend of mine that told me). I finally got tired of the ****** and asked him to go back to where he came from...not the USA. not sure where he is today or what poor girl hes lying too today, but I am much happier and my new beau has him and I on his profile pic and we are expecting our first baby this year. Beware of the guys who are afraid of what others will think of him all of the time. Especially his exes or girls he meets at work. Those guys are all the same and will lie his pants off to make sure everyyyyyyyyyyyy one likes him. You are not over analysing...you are being smart! G.

Last edited by Nottstupid2010; 07-18-2010 at 08:51 PM.. Reason: I misspelled a word.
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Old 07-19-2010, 12:50 AM
 
Location: The Middle
5,252 posts, read 8,125,023 times
Reputation: 6678
Food for thought....
Do you see more than one item on the list?

Seven Surprising signs he will never marry you by Niki Evans

1. All of His Exes Are "Crazy"
Be wary of a man who refers to his former girlfriends as crazy, psycho, or clingy because what's the common denominator here? Him. The dude's either looney-bin glue, or he never really wanted the relationship to work in the first place.

2. He Plans Ultra-Romantic Dates
A cozy candlelit dinner is nice and all, but if he only takes you to secluded places, it could be a tip-off that he doesn't want other women to spot him on a date. Next time he asks you out, suggest hitting up a busy restaurant or popular bar and see how he reacts.

3. He's Hot and Cold on the Phone
He'll text you 10 times in a night, then go MIA for days. He'll chat on the phone for an hour, then ignore your messages for the rest of the week. Wondering what the heck is going on? We're going to be brutally honest: He's mostly likely busy dating other women.

4. He Guilt-Trips You
It's normal for a guy to be jonesing to sleep with you from day one. But this behavior is a red flag if he a) lays the pressure on thick, or b) tries to make you feel bad if you choose not to get physical like by giving you a sob story about how worked up he is without the release of sex.

5. Stuff Is Missing from His Facebook Profile
Has he untagged any photos of you and him? Does he post updates often, yet never mention hanging out with you? Is his relationship status hidden? We smell a rat. A guy who's leery of commitment will make sure there are no traces of you on his page.

6. His Buddies Act Distant
Even though a player's bros may be friendly enough, they probably won't ask you many personal questions about your job, interests, etc. The ugly truth: They don't want to invest time and energy getting to know you because they figure you're not going to be around very long.

7. He Says You're Soul Mates
Okay, we adore the idea of love at first sight but too much too soon could also indicate sketchy intentions. If a dude comes on super strong right off the bat (we're talking the first couple of weeks), telling you things like that he's starting to fall in love with you, just make sure you play it safe and trust your gut. Those powerful words might be rolling off his tongue so smoothly because he's spoken them so many times before.
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Old 11-14-2010, 09:54 AM
 
1 posts, read 9,394 times
Reputation: 11
Thank you i felt totally the same and now i feel awesome as i'm with the love of my life not my facebook life!
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