Older man w/ baggage (girlfriend, marry, kids, pregnant)

[TheImportersWife]

Originally Posted by Jdawg8181

I'm not saying I do or I don't...but he hasn't tried to sleep with me yet like most men, so that's a +1 in his direction.

You clearly don't think he's being honest or you wouldn't have googled him or posted your original post.


And your decision to continue seeing him is partially based on the fact that he hasn't tried to sleep with you? Based on my experience, most men try and make the moves. Doesn't mean you have to give them anything and I didn't take it as them necessarily thinking differently of me (meaning I'm easy, not worthy of a LTR or that they had little respect for me.) If you decline and they still continue to show an interest, then maybe they're interested in you and just happen to be attracted to you as well.

Originally Posted by Jdawg8181

I don't know...I HATE HATE HATE being single, and I really do try to give people the benefit of the doubt...but I do agree there are a lot of red flags here.

Sounds like you're settling because of that.

[Currency Pair Crocodile]

Originally Posted by Jdawg8181

Sooo...how do I approach this situation?

Hi all- I'm a 28 year old, single gal. Recently an older man, 45 years old, has taken interest in me. I do like him and it isn't really the age that is the factor...it's more his living situation and the fact that he has A LOT of baggage.

He is divorced with a 10 year old son. He wasn't married to his ex-wife very long. He got her pregnant and she said if he didn't marry she would have an abortion. Shortly after the kid was born, they filed for divorce. This was about 10 years ago. In between he has had some relationships. His last relationship ended approx. around new years time. She had 2 kids (not with him) and she and the kids were living with him...and still are! Even though he is not with this ex, I, as someone who he is trying to court...can't even fathom this situation. He told me I cannot come over his place b/c his ex is living there and she would be furious. I don't understand why he can't just get the balls and kick her out...or speak up to to her and say no and invite me over.

I don't want to have to inconvenience anything to have a relationship with him...just to keep HER happy. I want to be able to have a boyfriend and visit him freely and not have to worry about an ex or her kids or any other drama. Not only that, but I googled him and I found out that they were engaged- NOT just boyf/girlf...but he hasn't admitted it to me.

So I guess I'm a little stuck. He is a very nice guy, so that's the part that is telling me it's worth it...but the baggage is just too much for me to handle. Plus, I feel if he indeed WAS engaged to this woman, then he isn't being honest with me.

Thoughts would be appreciated. Thanks

Aren't you that young hot chick with that career obsession? I remember your threads of the past.

Why would you stoop down to the level of seeing old guys?

Being single can be frustrating, but you can wait for the right guy for a little more. It's not like you are 38 and running off the clock. It does not have to drive you towards second grade men.

[thebobs]

Originally Posted by TheImportersWife

Sounds like you're settling because of that.

Thats the worst thing you can do. I almost did that with an ex but thankfully my migraines convinced me otherwise. I probably would have hung myself already if I married her.

[Thursday007]

What a flippin' mess. I'd totally back off and have him look you up when he cleans up the mess he's in. Run, don't walk.

[Jdawg8181]

Originally Posted by TheImportersWife

You clearly don't think he's being honest or you wouldn't have googled him or posted your original post.


And your decision to continue seeing him is partially based on the fact that he hasn't tried to sleep with you? Based on my experience, most men try and make the moves. Doesn't mean you have to give them anything and I didn't take it as them necessarily thinking differently of me (meaning I'm easy, not worthy of a LTR or that they had little respect for me.) If you decline and they still continue to show an interest, then maybe they're interested in you and just happen to be attracted to you as well.






Sounds like you're settling because of that.

I google everyone I meet...people who interview me for jobs etc. EVERYONE. I'm not saying he is honest- clearly he isn't, but I really do google everyone...even myself from time to time...and my best friends and family...and they are ALWAYS honest with me. Googling has nothing to do with an honesty level.

And if I was settling, I'd already be with him.

[yellowsnow]

Ask this guy to take you home for dinner......and introduce you to the EX as his current GF. Should be no problem if he and this woman are really done and dusted. If he says no, you have your answer.

I know the age thing doesn't bother you today but what about when you are 45 and still ready to go out and have some fun? You know, he will go from distinguished to frail and elderly before you are ready to hang up your dancing shoes. As long as you are willing to provide his elder care, it's all good. You also need to know you will most likely have a lot of sexless years with this man because of the age difference.

[Buburuza13]

my dear,i am sorry about you,if you believe such a story...you need to grew up and become smarter!!

many married or commited men tells such stories to the younger (not too smart) girlfriends..in reality,they do nto even want to divorce or ever separate..

please move on and stop believe in such stories...a woman needs to get respect you do not get this respect when you are always on the second place,do you get it???BE A PROUDE WOMAN MY DEAR,not somebody's toy.

in your place i woudl go to his place, talk with his girlfriend...you will be very surprised and maybe you will learn your lesson...do not trust men and their stories!!!especially older men..Like i said grew up!!

he did not want to sleep with you?..not yet??...trust me,he will wnat it later...first he wants to cry on your shoulder..make you feel sorry about his terrible situation,the mean ex wifes...stop believe in such guys...you waste your time..loneliness is no excuse for stupidity...

[Jdawg8181]

Originally Posted by Buburuza13

my dear,i am sorry about you,if you believe such a story...you need to grew up and become smarter!!

many married or commited men tells such stories to the younger (not too smart) girlfriends..in reality,they do nto even want to divorce or ever separate..

please move on and stop believe in such stories...a woman needs to get respect you do not get this respect when you are always on the second place,do you get it???BE A PROUDE WOMAN MY DEAR,not somebody's toy.

in your place i woudl go to his place, talk with his girlfriend...you will be very surprised and maybe you will learn your lesson...do not trust men and their stories!!!especially older men..Like i said grew up!!

There are spelling and punctuation errors left & right in this post...and yet I'M the stupid one?

[Ep-]

old dood
kid
live in ex wife
more kids


gotta wonder what goes through some of you ladies heads


he sounds like a catch

Originally Posted by Jdawg8181

There are spelling and punctuation errors left & right in this post...and yet I'M the stupid one?

see what i wrote above

[Beth56]

Originally Posted by Jdawg8181

There are spelling and punctuation errors left & right in this post...and yet I'M the stupid one?

Being from another country might have something to do with it. Your comment was immature and harsh.

And I don't recall anyone calling you stupid.