Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
No, I'd really like to know why single women are encouraged to go but single men are virtually banned?
Why is it alright for a hubby to bang a single woman there but wifey must bang another man who is married?
What is even the point of getting married if you want to have sex with other people?
I don't know the answers to your questions, LK...like I said, it's not my type of scene. I would imagine it has to do with ratios. More single men would be inclined to particpate than single women, therefore leaving less to go around.
I mean, could you see how many men would hop at the chance to have a buffet of women at their disposal...it would be a true humpfest.
I don't know the answers to your questions, LK...like I said, it's not my type of scene. I would imagine it has to do with ratios. More single men would be inclined to particpate than single women, therefore leaving less to go around.
I mean, could you see how many men would hop at the chance to have a buffet of women at their disposal...it would be a true humpfest.
Actually, your last paragraph is the reason for restrictions on single males: it isn't THEIR buffet. Trust me, more men are needed/wanted at swing parties, but most don't understand they are there for the women's use as much as they think it's the reverse. The men who come in thinking they are at an all they can eat buffet don't last long - if they even make it past the interview process. It was that very attitude that would make me turn a single male down when I was doing interviewing.
However, you're wrong about the reason for the ratios. The problem is, very few men can go long times and still be able to perform. It's more often that the men get worn out leaving only women to play with each other. That's the biggest reason for having single men at all: while 90% of women who swing are bi, there is that 10% who are hetero only and we need men who know how to handle that kind of situation - and with the right attitude to not p*ss off the husbands/boyfriends while doing so.
Even the most fine and best looking of folks can have AIDS, chlamydia, gonorrhea, hep C, be a serial killer, or just a pervert.
You're safer going to the Bunny Ranch, at least they test those women for disease and have some standards in place.
Ok, I've got to address the repeated references to AIDS and other STI's.
First of all, the majority of clubs that allow onsite sex also require the use of condoms and dental dams. In addition, unlike the general population who deludes themselves into thinking that because they've only had two or three sexual partners in their life, they're "safe," swingers tend to be obsessive about safer sexual practices. These are men and women who are usually tested with extreme regularity, and who would no more go without a condom than you'd go without breathing.
It's the same phenomenon that happened in the GLBT community after the AIDS epidemic got into full swing in the 80's... the majority of those at higher risk became extremely conscientious about using condoms and thus decreased the spread within their population... while the hetero/mono population who decided they were "safe" saw a massive upswing in instances of HIV.
There have been only two documented and verified cases of HIV transmission among swingers... both at the same club, both in women, both the result of anal sex. And that was in 1986. The club had over 700 members.
Last but not least, people who practice alternative sexual lifestyles tend to be a lot more open and honest about their sexual activity level... their partners know they are having sex with multiple partners. The same is not true among the het/mono population... where affairs are happening constantly and disclosure is rare.
It's the lying and deceit, the irresponsibility for practicing safer sex, the lack of education about safer sex practices, which allows for the spread of STI's. It's the conservative propensity for believing that if you don't "tempt" people with the topic, it'll all go away, and only those dirty sl*ts will catch something. That's working very well, isn't it? Teenagers are growing into adults with NO CLUE how to protect themselves, how to be responsible in their sexual behavior... het...mono...teens... who have been raised by parents who think "don't ask, don't tell" means "don't educate."
I'm not into swinging... never have been... it's simply not my thing. I don't find casual sex to be fulfilling or satisfying. But I have a strong aversion to disinformation and the spread of fear-based garbage that has zero basis in reality.
In any population group you are going to find the inherently stupid and inherently unsafe. We are all at risk for STI's, regardless of if we're with one partner or dozens... because the only person's behavior we can know about, with absolute surety is our own. We can believe our partner is/has always been faithful. We can trust that they have been. But we cannot know. And unfortunately, the dishonest among us, among every population group, put the rest of us in danger. It's up to each individual to be responsible for minimizing their risk within their own risk level.
In the big scheme of things, stupidity and irresponsibility spreads STI's, not sex itself. And there are plenty of stupid and irresponsible people out there, in EVERY segment of the population.
Actually, your last paragraph is the reason for restrictions on single males: it isn't THEIR buffet. Trust me, more men are needed/wanted at swing parties, but most don't understand they are there for the women's use as much as they think it's the reverse. The men who come in thinking they are at an all they can eat buffet don't last long - if they even make it past the interview process. It was that very attitude that would make me turn a single male down when I was doing interviewing.
However, you're wrong about the reason for the ratios. The problem is, very few men can go long times and still be able to perform. It's more often that the men get worn out leaving only women to play with each other. That's the biggest reason for having single men at all: while 90% of women who swing are bi, there is that 10% who are hetero only and we need men who know how to handle that kind of situation - and with the right attitude to not p*ss off the husbands/boyfriends while doing so.
Very informative NYAnnie!! Not that I plan on participating but can I understand the reasons behind the rules and interview process. It's interesting to learn about so I thank you for your posts!
Last edited by seeniorita; 05-19-2010 at 01:44 PM..
Ok, I've got to address the repeated references to AIDS and other STI's.
First of all, the majority of clubs that allow onsite sex also require the use of condoms and dental dams. In addition, unlike the general population who deludes themselves into thinking that because they've only had two or three sexual partners in their life, they're "safe," swingers tend to be obsessive about safer sexual practices. These are men and women who are usually tested with extreme regularity, and who would no more go without a condom than you'd go without breathing.
It's the same phenomenon that happened in the GLBT community after the AIDS epidemic got into full swing in the 80's... the majority of those at higher risk became extremely conscientious about using condoms and thus decreased the spread within their population... while the hetero/mono population who decided they were "safe" saw a massive upswing in instances of HIV.
There have been only two documented and verified cases of HIV transmission among swingers... both at the same club, both in women, both the result of anal sex. And that was in 1986. The club had over 700 members.
Last but not least, people who practice alternative sexual lifestyles tend to be a lot more open and honest about their sexual activity level... their partners know they are having sex with multiple partners. The same is not true among the het/mono population... where affairs are happening constantly and disclosure is rare.
It's the lying and deceit, the irresponsibility for practicing safer sex, the lack of education about safer sex practices, which allows for the spread of STI's. It's the conservative propensity for believing that if you don't "tempt" people with the topic, it'll all go away, and only those dirty sl*ts will catch something. That's working very well, isn't it? Teenagers are growing into adults with NO CLUE how to protect themselves, how to be responsible in their sexual behavior... het...mono...teens... who have been raised by parents who think "don't ask, don't tell" means "don't educate."
I'm not into swinging... never have been... it's simply not my thing. I don't find casual sex to be fulfilling or satisfying. But I have a strong aversion to disinformation and the spread of fear-based garbage that has zero basis in reality.
In any population group you are going to find the inherently stupid and inherently unsafe. We are all at risk for STI's, regardless of if we're with one partner or dozens... because the only person's behavior we can know about, with absolute surety is our own. We can believe our partner is/has always been faithful. We can trust that they have been. But we cannot know. And unfortunately, the dishonest among us, among every population group, put the rest of us in danger. It's up to each individual to be responsible for minimizing their risk within their own risk level.
In the big scheme of things, stupidity and irresponsibility spreads STI's, not sex itself. And there are plenty of stupid and irresponsible people out there, in EVERY segment of the population.
Even when used correctly and consistently, condoms do not offer 100% protection against the transmission of AIDS, the deadliest STD out there. So big wop de do that clubs require use of them
Agree that stupidity and irresponsibility spreads STD's, but without sex as the vehicle for that stupidity the diseases wouldn't be able to leave the body they inhabit.
Sadly, the beautiful gift of sex we've been given is more often than not abused, perverted and misused from its original intent. I believe one day we'll all be called to account for how we nurtured and cherished this very special gift - or how we abused it. But that's just me.
I just don't get it, getting turned on by seeing your hubby or wife having sex with someone else.
I wonder how often affairs beyond the club start after meeting someone there?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
.......um, I mean hearts can't handle that kind of buffet! 
