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Old 05-19-2010, 06:38 PM
 
5,879 posts, read 9,236,920 times
Reputation: 2753

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Quote:
Originally Posted by himain View Post
Ok so its going to be my 35th bday tomorrow. My best friend and her husband and I are going to go to a swingers club on Friday night. They have been once and I've never been and just to clarify, the three of us are not getting together It's something I've always been curious about and just wanted to try something new. I'm very openminded but honestly I'm nervous but excited at the same time. I honestly do not see myself dive bombing into a gigantic orgy going on, LOL but would I stand there and watch?? Sure, why not? I mean you can totally go and not participate. Anyone else been and what was your expierence like??? You can DM me if you choose not to post in thread. It should be interesting, LOL
I never have in a personal adventure but I have stumbled into the middle of one that was almost in progress at work while on the job. I have posted this here before and it was a pool party/orgy/swinger party. I was there to service the A/C and had to walk by the pool to get to it. They were only doing heavy petting and making out at that point. I was embarrassed as hell and couldn't get my tools and get out of there fast enough!LOL.......

 
Old 05-19-2010, 06:39 PM
 
Location: in my imagination
13,584 posts, read 21,358,138 times
Reputation: 10082
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
Well, sure. Just as it might repulse your wife someday to know you fantasized about five busty women and a camera ... that's not every woman's cup of tea, either. Everybody's different. I'm sure you've seen the threads here from women freaking out because their boyfriends and husbands look at porn or go to strip clubs. There was a recent thread about whether it's OK for married people to even flirt. To some people, these thoughts and feelings are NOT OK. It's NOT okay to flirt, it's NOT okay to look at other people, it's NOT okay to fantasize. If that's what someone wants to believe, fine. I think that attitude comes from deep-seated insecurity, hence the question, "I wonder how often affairs occur afterward." The answer is not very. Some people just have come to terms with these thoughts, and it's not so much about getting to do stuff (she says in an ominous tone) but that it's okay to want to. As someone who regularly posts lusty comments and posts pictures of big butts and what you want to do to them, consider that those thoughts won't simply go away when you are married. So what then? Sneak around and have an affair, or tell your wife, "Hey, that waitress has a chunky butt and I kind of want to slap it." Then she can laugh at you and tell you to finish your meatloaf.

OH PLEEZE! Fantasizing and actually acting it out are two different things. Whoever my wife might be, if she had a fantasy fine, if she wanted alone time with a vibrator to indulge in a mind fantasy, fine. However passing her around like a bowl of gravy at the dinner table is another matter.
 
Old 05-19-2010, 06:42 PM
 
Location: southwest TN
8,568 posts, read 18,070,811 times
Reputation: 16702
LionKing, I'm not going to jump on you, I am going to sit here and watch you defend some of your most recent statements, specifically this one:

What kind of husband would ALLOW his wife to......


I will, however, correct your statement about swingers being about a relationship - cuz it just ain't so. I have sex with people I swing with. There's no relationship beyond yours with people on your bowling team. Sex is an activity; it doesn't require much more than being acquainted. That and some body parts and a great attitude.
 
Old 05-19-2010, 06:45 PM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,901 posts, read 42,625,050 times
Reputation: 42767
Quote:
Originally Posted by lionking View Post
OH PLEEZE! Fantasizing and actually acting it out are two different things. Whoever my wife might be, if she had a fantasy fine, if she wanted alone time with a vibrator to indulge in a mind fantasy, fine. However passing here around like a bowl of gravy at the dinner table is another matter.
You might want to argue adultery on the Christianity boards about that. There's a large contingent of people who don't agree with that at all. "Two different things," my eye.

You have your own boundaries. You have decided that it's okay for your hypothetical wife to do those things. That doesn't make it universally okay; there are quite a few men who would not be comfortable with that. That doesn't make you right and them wrong, any more than your opinions now make you right and me wrong.
 
Old 05-19-2010, 06:45 PM
 
Location: southwest TN
8,568 posts, read 18,070,811 times
Reputation: 16702
Quote:
Originally Posted by himain View Post
LK-I kid you not, another couple thats friends that are swingers have basically the same conversation after doing their thing the night before. NO LIE, LOL. It works for them so I can't say anything.

Ditto on the conversation. Mine were grown, but I have wakened next to a couple who had almost this exact conversation - only theirs wasn't kids, it was grandkids! And man, if I wasn't used to watching sex before my eyes, I'd have been outa there - they got so mushy! Eww - hugging and kissing and.........
 
Old 05-19-2010, 06:48 PM
 
3,486 posts, read 5,675,989 times
Reputation: 3868
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
You might want to argue adultery on the Christianity boards about that. There's a large contingent of people who don't agree with that at all. "Two different things," my eye.
Exactly. How does it go? "Thou shall not covet thy neighbor's wife." Even thinking about adultery is tantamount to adultery in the eyes of religion, so not surprisingly, a lot of people are firmly convinced that even fantasizing about sex with someone you are not married to is deeply immoral.
 
Old 05-19-2010, 06:53 PM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,901 posts, read 42,625,050 times
Reputation: 42767
Quote:
Originally Posted by Redisca View Post
Exactly. How does it go? "Though shall not covet they neighbor's wife." Even thinking about adultery is tantamount to adultery in the eyes of religion, so not surprisingly, a lot of people are firmly convinced that even fantasizing about sex with someone you are not married to is deeply immoral.
And yet one of the most frequently cited male fantasies is a threesome with two women. Well, um, who's the other woman? Like it's all super fun if you're strangers, but if one of them happens to be someone you're married to, then OH MY GOD EW GROSS. And if the other person is a MAN, then ... well, damn, the world just farkin' implodes.
 
Old 05-19-2010, 06:56 PM
 
Location: in my imagination
13,584 posts, read 21,358,138 times
Reputation: 10082
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
You might want to argue adultery on the Christianity boards about that. There's a large contingent of people who don't agree with that at all. "Two different things," my eye.

You have your own boundaries. You have decided that it's okay for your hypothetical wife to do those things. That doesn't make it universally okay; there are quite a few men who would not be comfortable with that. That doesn't make you right and them wrong, any more than your opinions now make you right and me wrong.

What did I say earlier? I said some will judge me also, and they have the right to speak their mind about what they think of me. They don't have the right to legislate me, as long as it is consenting adults which swinging is also.

However like others can state their thoughts about me, I am doing so also. Will this thread end in changing the habits of everybody? Probably not. But it is a discussion and that is what this forum is about.
 
Old 05-19-2010, 07:02 PM
 
Location: Wherever I go...
396 posts, read 731,326 times
Reputation: 715
Quote:
Originally Posted by lionking View Post
I'm sorry.....ugh what? How wrong for me to assume that you were having sex with a boyfriend after you state you have a boyfriend and it was right after getting married, and that your husband would assume he and you were naked?

Oh gosh pardon me, I should thought you two were playing cards in the room.

What the F kind of husband would allow a wife to have a boyfriend, let him sleep with his wife, sex or not, and have to ask if they were decent before opening the door?

Let me ask, does this swing the other way, can he have a girlfriend in bed, will you ask if they are decent before opening the door and make them breakfast?

Lets get one thing straight, if you have a guy friend who you are not having sex with, refer to him as a friend, not a boyfriend.

Sex is not the only reason for a relationship but it is part of it, and obviously since swingers are about sharing their wife or husband, sex is what it is about.
Um, yes, it clearly does "swing the other way" since it was his (then) girlfriend dousing the eggs with nasty ketchup. And yes, I've gotten up and knocked on their door and asked if they were decent and made them breakfast. Then again, on his and his current girlfriend's anniversary, I made them breakfast in bed.

And I didn't say I don't have sex with my boyfriend... I said we didn't have sex that morning. As I said, just because you're in bed with someone, doesn't mean you are at that moment (or even recently in the last few hours or even days) having sex with them.

Also, to be clear, we're not swingers. Swinging is not my scene. NY Annie prefers swinging to relationships, I prefer relationships to swinging. They're two different things. I would bet I've had fewer sexual partners in my life than you have by a wide margin. I don't "do" one night stands OR casual sex... never have, not my thing.


Quote:
Originally Posted by lionking View Post
WHY? Because different people don't agree with you, don't see it as proper. Start and try to understand why they don't agree with you besides wondering why you should be questioned?
Um... I was asking so I could understand why you find it repulsive... nowhere in anything I've said have I stated, hinted or implied that I should not be questioned OR that you are not entitled to your opinion.

Perhaps you should take a little more time to actually read what people write, instead of jumping to conclusions and going off half-cocked. You've made a number of incorrect assumptions in this conversation...despite things being spelled out pretty clearly. This is just another one.
 
Old 05-19-2010, 07:17 PM
 
Location: in my imagination
13,584 posts, read 21,358,138 times
Reputation: 10082
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wingsy View Post
Um, yes, it clearly does "swing the other way" since it was his (then) girlfriend dousing the eggs with nasty ketchup. And yes, I've gotten up and knocked on their door and asked if they were decent and made them breakfast. Then again, on his and his current girlfriend's anniversary, I made them breakfast in bed.

And I didn't say I don't have sex with my boyfriend... I said we didn't have sex that morning. As I said, just because you're in bed with someone, doesn't mean you are at that moment (or even recently in the last few hours or even days) having sex with them.

Also, to be clear, we're not swingers. Swinging is not my scene. NY Annie prefers swinging to relationships, I prefer relationships to swinging. They're two different things. I would bet I've had fewer sexual partners in my life than you have by a wide margin. I don't "do" one night stands OR casual sex... never have, not my thing.




Um... I was asking so I could understand why you find it repulsive... nowhere in anything I've said have I stated, hinted or implied that I should not be questioned OR that you are not entitled to your opinion.

Perhaps you should take a little more time to actually read what people write, instead of jumping to conclusions and going off half-cocked. You've made a number of incorrect assumptions in this conversation...despite things being spelled out pretty clearly. This is just another one.

oh my gawd.ok I'll give this thread a few more minutes before I bail outta here. You want to know why I think I find it repulsive? If you have to ask that then we are on such different mindsets that there will not be a understanding.

Better that I turn it around and you answer me why you don't think there is anything wrong with getting married, and spreading your body to others? You don't feel any amount of jealousy?, of envy? That maybe your husband might want another more than you? That a vow is a promise of being faithful?

I jumped to conclusions about you having sex with your *boyfriend*? You just verified in this post that you do have sex with him, your husband has sex with other women. So I guess I was right after all.


What is my problem with all this? A vow of marriage is a vow to be true and faithful in every way. A vow that is meant o be taken seriously. You have found a way to pick out the parts that are inconvenient to the vow and twist it into being "enlightened", how convenient.

How about this, if you want your cake and eat it to, don't get married. Just live together and live that life style. My problem with all this is you trivialize marriage, you trivialize the vow because you can't live up to the whole part of it. It is like making a promise while crossing your fingers behind your back.

Now do you understand what I am thinking about all this?
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