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Well, that's the thing. If you can't verbalize to a teenager why they shouldn't do a pleasurable behavior, they're going to do it. "It's just wrong" is an argument that never holds water with teens. They need a reason.
As a girl myself, this kind of behavior breaks down ones self esteem because ultimately boys do not care about you as a person. They are just using you because you don't care enough about yourself enough to be with someone that has deeper feelings other than just sexual ones. Your name gets around that you are the go to girl to have sex with because you don't care and love it. Is that the kind of life you want for yourself or your daughter? What type of person do you suppose this type of girl turns out to be as an adult? Enjoying sex is great but having sex for sex sake makes it as special as shaking hands. If you behave this way and believe that as long as no one is pregnant or getting a disease and therefore no big deal than how do you think you will feel about sex in your 40's or older. Ho hum? Please. A male, no matter how old, will only respect you as much as you respect yourself.
I think the real question is that as long as the teenage girls aren't getting pregnant and making babies and as long as they aren't getting or spreading STD's, are promiscuous girls really a problem? I'm talking societally here, not religiously. Obviously if it's against your religion to have sex before marriage, then it's a problem whether or not you're a teen girl.
The only problem is jailbait, 15 will get you 20 ...
Quote:
Originally Posted by 4doglver
I'm talking about good students with intact families that go to church, belong to clubs after school and plan on going to college but when it comes to guys, they give it up so easily before even dating and being in a committed relationship! A father I know found a maids costume, handcuffs and other "toys" in the back of his daughters car the other day.
So this girl has her life together enough to attend church, school, and extracurriculars, and is doing well enough to go to college. But because she is having sex theres something wrong with her??? AS long as she is safe an not getting pregnant or spreading stds the only thing I see wrong here is I didn't find a girl like that in high school
Quote:
Originally Posted by TempesT68
It's been like this for generations. People looking at the flapper girls of the 30's showing ankle, to the "filthy" dancing of elvis in the 50's, the free love flower power of the 60's to the big hair glam metal groupies of the 80's and so on. Sluts will be sluts, always have been, always will be.
"Sluts will be Sluts" if thats not a bumper sticker already it needs to be.
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,516 posts, read 20,005,830 times
Reputation: 9418
Quote:
Originally Posted by Violett
Well, that's the thing. If you can't verbalize to a teenager why they shouldn't do a pleasurable behavior, they're going to do it. "It's just wrong" is an argument that never holds water with teens. They need a reason.
Who can't verbalize it? Ok, I'll bite. I did just fine explaining to my kids why you should think more highly of yourself than to give it away too fast and to just anyone. You may think it's no biggie as long as they're not getting pregnant--as if that's the only thing wrong with our society right now, teen/unwanted pregnancies--but I see the bigger picture. It's all relative, the way they see themselves now, how they behave because of it later and what they teach the next generations, those which will be heading this nation. It's all relative, you let one domino fall and eventually they'll all come down, one at a time.
As a girl myself, this kind of behavior breaks down ones self esteem because ultimately boys do not care about you as a person. They are just using you because you don't care enough about yourself enough to be with someone that has deeper feelings other than just sexual ones. Your name gets around that you are the go to girl to have sex with because you don't care and love it. Is that the kind of life you want for yourself or your daughter? What type of person do you suppose this type of girl turns out to be as an adult? Enjoying sex is great but having sex for sex sake makes it as special as shaking hands. If you behave this way and believe that as long as no one is pregnant or getting a disease and therefore no big deal than how do you think you will feel about sex in your 40's or older. Ho hum? Please. A male, no matter how old, will only respect you as much as you respect yourself.
Any guy who doesn't respect you if you sleep with him is a misogynist dbag and totally not worth your time.
As for the reputation thing, it all depends. In my high school, there were some girls who were "known" as being slutty girls, and yes, everyone talked smack about them and belittled them. But there were more popular girls who had the same sexual behaviors as the slutty girls and no one cared or shunned them for it. I really think it just comes down to who's popular and who's not and that it's not about sexual behavior.
Who can't verbalize it? Ok, I'll bite. I did just fine explaining to my kids why you should think more highly of yourself than to give it away too fast and to just anyone. You may think it's no biggie as long as they're not getting pregnant--as if that's the only thing wrong with our society right now, teen/unwanted pregnancies--but I see the bigger picture. It's all relative, the way they see themselves now, how they behave because of it later and what they teach the next generations, those which will be heading this nation. It's all relative, you let one domino fall and eventually they'll all come down, one at a time.
I just don't think a person's worth should be measured in how many people they do or don't sleep with. A person's worth should be measured on how you treat others, and the amount of good you do for society. The number of people you sleep with should be irrevelvant, as long as you're protected and careful and not sleeping with other people's S.O.'s and as long as you don't use sex as a weapon.
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,516 posts, read 20,005,830 times
Reputation: 9418
Quote:
Originally Posted by Violett
Any guy who doesn't respect you if you sleep with him is a misogynist dbag and totally not worth your time.
As for the reputation thing, it all depends. In my high school, there were some girls who were "known" as being slutty girls, and yes, everyone talked smack about them and belittled them. But there were more popular girls who had the same sexual behaviors as the slutty girls and no one cared or shunned them for it. I really think it just comes down to who's popular and who's not and that it's not about sexual behavior.
Just because some excuse it because the person is 'popular' doesn't diminish the fact that it's about sexual behavior. Their bias has nothing to do with what it is or isn't. A rose is a rose....
Just because some excuse it because the person is 'popular' doesn't diminish the fact that it's about sexual behavior. Their bias has nothing to do with what it is or isn't. A rose is a rose....
4doglver said a reason teen girls shouldn't have sex is because it will damage their reputation. I was just saying that it's not always the case.
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,516 posts, read 20,005,830 times
Reputation: 9418
Quote:
Originally Posted by Violett
I just don't think a person's worth should be measured in how many people they do or don't sleep with. A person's worth should be measured on how you treat others, and the amount of good you do for society. The number of people you sleep with should be irrevelvant, as long as you're protected and careful and not sleeping with other people's S.O.'s and as long as you don't use sex as a weapon.
I don't think you get it though, it's not about what others think, ultimately. It's about what you think of yourself. And you're not going to think too highly of yourself once your eyes are truly opened if you're giving yourself away so freely.
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