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My wife and I are partners in crime. We married less than a month after we met, and will be married 21 years this July. We love each other very deeply, but for a few months, my wife has been wanting to explore the idea of an open relationship.
I have been okay dealing with the idea. I have to say--I suffered a severe injury and subsequent infection which nearly killed me a few years back. I hate to overshare, but it destroyed my ability to have an erection. My wife and I still have fun, and there are ways to have a sexually fulfilling relationship without penetration.
I say this just to stress--my wife is a wonderful human being and I do not blame her for anything, nor do I hold any anger, resentment or hate for her.
A few weeks back she began seeing another man. It's a bit troubling because I assumed she wanted to just meet up with people and have fun, not be as exclusive (with another man) than it has become. However, she is being very open and honest about everything, and has been encouraging me to find other partners to interact with.
I'm not really inclined to be with any other women. But I wouldn't discount the possibility entirely.
My wife is getting an apartment this week and will be dividing her time between there and our home.
I have told her I will always be here for he and hope that she and I will always come back together. I may be delusional, but knowing our relationship and history, I actually think this is possible, and can say that the time we have together now is more fun and exciting. We get together and it's like we're in our teens again. Pretty fun. I don't want her to feel awkward or unwelcome ever when she comes home.
Our daughters are 17 and 18, are aware of what is happening, and are very philosophical about it. Our family is loving, strong and free-spirited.
It's weird, new and I feel a bit like I've left the Known World. But I'm not crushed and don't feel like a cuckold or anything. In fact, the man she's seeing is apparently made of money and I get to reap some benefits from that.
I have been talking to some local women online and am going to be attending some upcoming events for singles. Who knows what may happen?
Does anyone think this is inherently immoral? Does anyone think this will ultimately spell the end of a relationship?
I realize things may change. My wife's feelings for this new man may grow into something deeper. She may decide she wants to turn the page and go off into a new life that doesn't include me. But I don't see that happening. Who knows? Nothing is certain.
To be honest mate this situation to many may sound unconventional and they might even have something negative to say on it but BOLLOX TO 'EM! As we say the side of the pond
As you've both clearly been very accepting and understanding of what's good for each other and your needs as the communication seems outstanding between the two of you
I don't have a similar experience so can't relate as such but have lived to know what's what and have a good idea of how things are for you so I really would like to wish you well as you sound a very decent bloke mate
PS I've seen your personal ad above and that's original to say the least lol but as you clearly have respect and time for a lady you'll always be one step ahead of many of the mugs that don't so you're half way there
I fully support consensual and ethical non-monogamy. You do you. Just keep lines of communication open. I have many friends who are in non-monogamous relationships and marriages. It works for some couples, often those wired for it, and not others.
My wife and I are partners in crime. We married less than a month after we met, and will be married 21 years this July. We love each other very deeply, but for a few months, my wife has been wanting to explore the idea of an open relationship.
I have been okay dealing with the idea. I have to say--I suffered a severe injury and subsequent infection which nearly killed me a few years back. I hate to overshare, but it destroyed my ability to have an erection. My wife and I still have fun, and there are ways to have a sexually fulfilling relationship without penetration.
I say this just to stress--my wife is a wonderful human being and I do not blame her for anything, nor do I hold any anger, resentment or hate for her.
A few weeks back she began seeing another man. It's a bit troubling because I assumed she wanted to just meet up with people and have fun, not be as exclusive (with another man) than it has become. However, she is being very open and honest about everything, and has been encouraging me to find other partners to interact with.
I'm not really inclined to be with any other women. But I wouldn't discount the possibility entirely.
My wife is getting an apartment this week and will be dividing her time between there and our home.
I have told her I will always be here for he and hope that she and I will always come back together. I may be delusional, but knowing our relationship and history, I actually think this is possible, and can say that the time we have together now is more fun and exciting. We get together and it's like we're in our teens again. Pretty fun. I don't want her to feel awkward or unwelcome ever when she comes home.
Our daughters are 17 and 18, are aware of what is happening, and are very philosophical about it. Our family is loving, strong and free-spirited.
It's weird, new and I feel a bit like I've left the Known World. But I'm not crushed and don't feel like a cuckold or anything. In fact, the man she's seeing is apparently made of money and I get to reap some benefits from that.
I have been talking to some local women online and am going to be attending some upcoming events for singles. Who knows what may happen?
Does anyone think this is inherently immoral? Does anyone think this will ultimately spell the end of a relationship?
I realize things may change. My wife's feelings for this new man may grow into something deeper. She may decide she wants to turn the page and go off into a new life that doesn't include me. But I don't see that happening. Who knows? Nothing is certain.
Anyone here have any similar experiences?
You have an excellent attitude. I cannot give any specific advice other than to encourage you to continue being who you are.
I think you messed up. I mean, you basically gave her the green light to cheat on you while you're sitting at the house injured. High school sweat heart and everything. I mean, wow, you guys had something special.
And she goes out and disrespects you like this?
And your daughters don't even support you? Damn. I would be so mad. I mean, at the very least you should make her feel like pure ****. Instead, she doesn't even feel remorse.
You deserve better than this. I feel like she betrayed you. I think you should be mad. But that's just me.
Just because you can't get an erection doesn't make you any less of a man. I'm telling you, this type of behavior exhibited from men gives us all a bad name.
We are men. We went to war for this. I mean, we die for this. This is crazy.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 05-23-2017 at 06:50 PM..
Reason: Save relion for the Religions forum.
I realize things may change. My wife's feelings for this new man may grow into something deeper. She may decide she wants to turn the page and go off into a new life that doesn't include me. But I don't see that happening. Who knows? Nothing is certain.
Anyone here have any similar experiences?
Im glad you realize that's a high possibility, even with you, if you decide to start seeing other people, too.
Ive not personally experienced it first hand, but know of couples that have, and it always turned out for the worse. Never a happy ending. But that's just my experience.
I dont find it immoral, but it isn't what i envision a marriage to be.
I'm only going to comment on one sentence. Your wife found herself another man to play with, which made her feel as she could say that you could have a woman to play with yourself. What if you don't want any other woman but her? I don't think that's right. Here's why. What's good for the goose is good for the gander in her eyes; however, she's the one who's stepping out on you and not the other way around. I understand that you two have discussed this, but it doesn't sound like you two discussed appropriate guidelines and parameters to abide by. Sounds like your wife came up with the thought of an open relationship, which isn't wrong if both parties agree to it. I just can't let it slide that she likely only felt obligated to say you can have someone, because she had someone.
I think you messed up. I mean, you basically gave her the green light to cheat on you while you're sitting at the house injured. High school sweat heart and everything. I mean, wow, you guys had something special.
And she goes out and disrespects you like this?
And your daughters don't even support you? Damn. I would be so mad. I mean, at the very least you should make her feel like pure ****. Instead, she doesn't even feel remorse.
You deserve better than this. I feel like she betrayed you. I think you should be mad. But that's just me.
Just because you can't get an erection doesn't make you any less of a man. I'm telling you, this type of behavior exhibited from men gives us all a bad name.
We are men. We went to war for this. I mean, we die for this. This is crazy.
Okay, I saw the post where she might be able to bring home money.
I guess you can find a way to justify it like that. Just make sure she brings you the money. In fact, make sure he pays. But now you have to redo your entire relationship. You have to think of it as a business arrangement where your wife works for you.
I don't know...I'm sorry about your situation. Nobody deserves that.
OP, I don't know that you want to ask the internet if "we" think this is immoral. I don't know how that would help your situation. It doesn't sound like a true open relationship because you are more vulnerable, and you didn't really want it in the first place.
I also don't know anyone who has experienced this, so I can't offer much else except to say good luck.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 05-23-2017 at 06:54 PM..
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