POLL: Who is at Fault? (girlfriend, loving, clothes, responsible) - Dating, marriage, boyfriends, girlfriends, men, women, friends, attraction ... - Page 2 - City-Data Forum

BacktoNE · 05-21-2010, 05:24 PM

It is the responsibility of the person who was wearing the jeans (or any article of clothing) to check the pockets. However, if something gets washed accidentally, I would NOT b*itch about it. Crap happens. It's not like anyone is going to do that on purpose.

GypsySoul22 · 05-21-2010, 05:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lakeman0

person washiing should always check, how can you not feel a damn remote?

Sometimes I pour the laundry directly into the washer. I don't always touch each piece of laundry. So that is how you don't feel it.

My friend has washed 2 of her son's Ipods. It can happen.

fleetiebelle · 05-21-2010, 05:33 PM

It sounds like part of her issue is that the thing that got messed up was a gift that she gave you. And a bit of what people upthread were talking about: she may have had a flash of spending the rest of your married life making sure she doesn't launder your valuables because you didn't empty your pockets.

max's mama · 05-21-2010, 05:47 PM

I wonder if she would have made the same fuss about something that got washed that wasn't her GIFT. I think she got upset that you were careless with the remote.

You need to be the one checking pockets before throwing anything in the laundry, although it's a collective effort.
She was blowing it out of proportion, but I think the reason was that it was her gift that got ruined.

Chowhound · 05-21-2010, 05:50 PM

To me it seems rather obvious. If you leave your shyt in the pockets and it gets ruined, it's your fault. Yes, it's nice if who ever does the wash double checks the pockets, but you know things get missed.....

GTOlover · 05-21-2010, 06:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lakeman0

person washiing should always check, how can you not feel a damn remote?

agreed person washing should check but accidents happen
I have washed my wallet a few times

boodhabunny · 05-21-2010, 06:23 PM

First off, how nice of her to do your laundry! I hope you thanked her for that. Secondly, the fact that you seemed to not care about the damaged gift and acted like it was nothing special and no biggie probably hurt her feelings a little.

Tell her your sorry (again) and that you loved her gift and that she's the most beautiful woman in the world and everything will be fine.

Easy Peasy.

Chowhound · 05-21-2010, 06:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by boodhabunny

Easy Peasy.

Easy Peasy Japaneasy.

Sorry, I couldn't resist.

desertsun41 · 05-21-2010, 06:38 PM

Responsibility? All ya all can do is place blame on one of them as if you were taking sides? How about who cares? Just blow it off, say "oh sheet" then go to the bedroom for a quickie. If you 2 are arguing about something that stupid now, guess what's going to happen very very quickly after you say I do. The new line will soon be "I used to".

You love her huh? See how much you love her when those silly arguments start and you become starved of no sex. Next you find yourself handing over every thing you own to her when she leaves (or kicks you out) including the rug rats you may have. 18 years later you will be pizz poor with nothing to show for your prime earning years.

NY Annie · 05-21-2010, 06:40 PM

This is an argument? Oh my, what will happen when you folks hit the big stuff? Seriously, you both are acting like chldren.

When she gets "all up" about something, you allow her to have her feelings. You apologize, tell her you will try to be more careful, and (don't demean her gift to you by saying it's not a biggie) tell her it's especially sad because it was a gift from her.

Right there, you will have diminished her anger, respected her, and accepted responsibility for your part in the accident. No need to turn it around and blame her - it isn't a biggie but don't say that now, she's upset.

Now reverse the issue: you gave her a gift ($$ irrelevant). She dropped it unknowingly getting out of the car. YOU back the car over it, destroying it. You probably would have at least expressed some disappointment, if not anger, at her for dropping it; with your scenario, she then turns on you, blaming YOU for not looking where you're driving and says it's no big deal. Um, yes it is - you gave it to her and it had meaning for you.

Don't sweat the small stuff; there's too many big issues in life. Pick your battles wisely. But mostly understand that anger is usually hurt being defended or pushed away. Feelings are just that - feelings and need to be acknowledged and respected.