I need advice on how to get boyfriend to move out (loving, sex)

[virgode]

This guy isn't going to be out of jail anytime soon with his history and present charges, unless someone came up with some serious bail money, but agree with Onglet and PTC, you need a plan for future safety, work with victims services in your local area, they can provide many services.

[swanstone1]

Been there done that and all I can say is change the locks immediately. I know easier said than done when you live in fear and are trying to talk yourself into making "it" work. If you had a best friend/sister in your situation, what would you tell her???? Now take your own advice!!!! There are too many leeches in the world. New locks, restraining order, alarm system......punk ass men like that only spout off big because fear controls women. They spout off and rarely do anything. It sounds like you have bigger balls than he does anyway and it's obvious you don't need a man for anything and it sounds like you need to buy a vibrator too boot! many awesome wonderful men out there that would appreciate you.....now let yourself BE appreciated before your spitrit is broken and you haven't the gumption to get away!

[swanstone1]

p.s. to Adoptstrays-----he is not your charity case to save when it means sacrificing yourself. Your log name says alot about you.......stick with the helpless creatures that deserve your attention. Those are the ones that can't "do" for themselves..........

[MontanaGuy]

I didn't see anywhere if you answered this question but what about all of his belongings? Are they still at your house? If they are that's another issue that's going to have to be addressed.

[yellowsnow]

Originally Posted by MontanaGuy

I didn't see anywhere if you answered this question but what about all of his belongings? Are they still at your house? If they are that's another issue that's going to have to be addressed.

I'd load them up and drop them off at Mom's house. Gets me off the hook and doesn't give him any reason to be even angrier.

[virgode]

OP, you don't have to let him in for his belongings, but if he should, the police can escort him, they'll only stay for a short time. He can file a replevin action in court and never come in your house, its probably the best way.

[PassTheChocolate]

Originally Posted by Onglet39

A restraining order will NOT save your life if this guy is truly dangerous. I am not going to go into specifics right now, but the one time I got a restraining order the cops strongly urged me to move. They pointed out that all a restraining order does is give them the grounds to arrest him if he violated it in a non-lethal way. If he violated it with lethal intentions, the likelihood of the cops getting to me in time to save my life was somewhere between slim and none.

Think about it, if the guy broke into your place and put that knife against your throat, what is that piece of paper going to do for you? Not a damn thing. They also told me that a lot of people become even MORE enraged after being served with a restraining order. After a lengthy discussion with law enforcement, I ended up leaving town when it was served, came back the next week and promptly moved.

That was a good move. It is very true, many of them do become more enraged and have no problem violating the order. That's why it's not as simple a solution as some people think.

[nichirenx]

Originally Posted by Redisca

If he does not own any part of the residence or pay rent, you can kick him out at any time. Ask him to leave (and have a couple of friends present when you do), and if he does not, call police. Make sure that when he does leave, he takes every last shred of his possessions, or anything he's paid for, with him.

Based on what you said, I don't think you have enough for a restraining order, but if you are truly afraid of this man, you might want to talk to a lawyer in your area.

[Playful]

I would be damned if I let this guy treat me like that especially in my own home. I would also not push him when I was alone with him or involve my family. I wouldn't have my ex or brother or father there for fear of him getting mad and doing something to them. Today no one gives a thought to pulling out a gun, then its too late to take back what happens. I would call the police and alert them to what you are going to do. Ask their opinion. Maybe they can drive by the house that night to make sure you are ok. Or talk to him in a public place. If he gets mad, he won't do anything there. Then when you get home...make sure there are people in your home to protect you while placing his belongings on the lawn. This guy is a loser. let us know what happens.

[akck]

With what has happened, I'd reconsider the gun. Hitting you and pulling a knife means he had lethal intentions and if he shows up, no one will get to you in time to help you. Do get some training and practice shooting the gun. Also, you'll need to get in the mindset that if the situation arises, you're willing to use the gun with lethal intentions. If you're just hoping to scare him off, you're better off not having it as he'll just take it and use it on you. Good luck and I hope you never have to deal with him again, except in court testifying.