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Sweetie you're in a bad spot and you need this man gone ASAP.
I hate to tell you this but if he receives mail at your house then he has a "right" to stay. Is that fair? No it isn't but you may have to serve him with a 30 day notice to get out. We have a messed up legal system. I'd be scared that hell get violent when you do that.
My suggestion would be to make his life as uncomfortable as possible until he leaves - disconnect the Internet for awhile (or change the wifi password), no massages, no sex heck try not to speak to him. Tell him that he needs to man up and get a job.
I'm sure other posters will have great advice. Good luck.
Oh boy, this sounds so familiar. I have an unemployed addict that I fell in love with. Its horrible. Rarely do we have good days. He's up all night, sleeps all day, while I work my ass off. I am disgusted with myself. I've never kept a man! It's been 3 1/2 years still no jib! He's spent time in prison. He has children he never sees (they live in another state). I'm scared to ask him to leave. But I can't do this any more.
Start going to a holy roller-type church. Tell him you are saved and you want him to be saved, too. Keep opening the bible and reading it to him. Say things like "Praise the Lord!" every other sentence. Tell him you are praying for him--no, even better, ask him to pray WITH you. Tell him you are thinking of becoming a missionary in the jungles of South America.
I am kinda going though the same thing.. idk what to do.. except my boyfriend is the nicest thing ever. Too nice! Iv tryed having him move out twice already.. and he just sits and crys for hours!! I dont know what to do.. iv tryed being a *****.. cut him off of sex.. like i dont know what else to do. I just dont feel the same way i did before.. its my apartment and i just want him to leave. But im to affraid to say anything again. Because he just crys and crys and crys and it makes me feel like an aweful person. Any help please!!
Ok. .so this is an awful lot like my story...girl gives guy chance to have everything in her home...he is so mean and speaks to me like no real man ever would...is now staying in r v out in my backyard...i just want him to leave..he doesn't pay bills i do...no rent...would help by fixing cars and some things but not to completion and i just need him gone...so tired..afraid of him off and on...just done with this...advice...do i have to evect if we were together for 10 month off and on...and i always told him you CANNOT live out back...i just can't believe that anyone. .a guy would mooch off a single mom of 5 like this. And not leave when asked to...i don't want to call cops and don't think they will help at all anyways...i get very afraid but he hasn't actually hit me yet..he is so weird. ..drugs fry his brain to often and he spins out like now..don't want any more of this..
Not sure how it works, but I think you should be able to get him kicked out with police. Just go to the local police department, tell them he is not welcome in your home but he won't leave, and you are afraid to push it because of his temper. See what they say. If there are some legal implications, police should be able to refer you further.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Adoptstrays
Hi all, I'm new here and I need some advice.
I met my boyfriend a year ago. He moved into my home 8 months ago due to job loss and I thought we were in love. He has said he wants to marry me, etc, but now I think he's just blowing smoke. He is an ex-alcoholic, three years sober, and is trying to get visitation rights with his two year old son which makes him very angry. He has a temper and often assumes things me, such as my mood..he says hateful things to me. I ask him why if he says he cares about me so much how can he act the way he does? He says and I quote: I am the way I am and I ain't changing, take it or leave it". Mkay...
In the last few months things have gotten downright awful. He makes no attempt at getting a job. Why should he, I have a good job and a home so I realize this. He plays World of Warcraft for 12 hr stretches. He is not affectionate period. He wants back rubs, neck rubs, from sitting at that stupid computer for hours. He wants sex only when he wants it and he never touches me or gives any foreplay, just three minutes and done.
Now. My problem is I am afraid of him. He has never hit me but has thrown things and has said things that make me afraid. Such as the neighbor's dog barks a lot. He has said that one day I'll come home from work and if the dog is dead I'm not to say a word to anybody. He's told me stories from his past of things he did while drunk...an uncle wouldn't let him drive his truck for some reason or other so he told some nasty friends where his uncle's safe was in his house and they broke in and stole a lot of money and guns. He has also keyed cars, has multiple DUI's, has spent a year and a half in jail because of them...How the hell do I get this man out of my house? I cannot get the courage up to even speak to him about it. I've thought of a million ways to say it..I've written letters but can't get the courage up to actually give them to him..
He takes and takes and gives nothing. He is always in a hateful mood and says mean things. I deserve better than this. Would someone please help me? I am on pins and needles around him, never knowing what his mood will be. I'm taking Xanax because of this man. I can't leave because I own my home and I'll be damned if I have to leave! But I am so afraid of him I don't know what to do. Thanks in advance.
I can't believe I am reading this. I am in the same exact situation. I have a boyfriend for about 13 months now and he has been living in my home since November. He pays no rent. He has a small used cat lot that is not doing very well. He is trying to get visitation with his children and that isn't going very well. He is on meds and the doctor has changed them a couple of times since we have Been together. He is very moody and he seems to becoming angrier and angrier with me and he's very hostile. He has totally changed and snaps at me constantly. He critizes me constantly. Nothing I do is good enough. He thinks I am stupid, and a slob. He is living in my home. I want this nightmare to end. He's lazy, and has a big foul mouth. He is a bully and I am sick of it.
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