WTF is it with men and never wanting to deal with "drama"?

[sophialee]

Originally Posted by solytaire

Why are you still calling him your boyfriend?

AFAIK she still hasn't dumped him. Someone update me if she did.

[Sprawling_Homeowner]

Originally Posted by *VaNiLlaGoRrilLa*

Sometimes I feel as though my boyfriend only ever wants to be around me when I am happy, laughing and positive.

Whenever I am upset or angry he completely shuts down. Doesn't want to talk about it, doesn't have time for it etc etc. If I say 'we need to talk' or 'can we talk about this' he usually just rolls his eyes and walks away, or gives me his attention, but with a filthy 'just hurry up and get whatever you want to say over with' look on his face. If we have an argument before bed he just rolls over and goes to sleep, despite me telling him I don't want us to go to bed angry. I usually cry myself to sleep!

I feel like we have a lot of unresolved issues and I hold in pretty much everything when it comes to my feelings.

Aren't relationships meant to be about taking the good with the bad?

As Marilyn Monroe once said "If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best"!

P.S. please don't base your answers on my previous threads. Things have taken a bit of a turn lately and I'd just like some opinions on this current situation.. Ladies have you ever had a man do this to you? Guys, do ALL men behave like this?

It's one thing if my woman had a bad day, or has a problem, and wants to vent or to talk about it... if she wants some constructive advice.

It's entirely another thing for her to inundate my ears with love triangles, shallow gossip about Jane who likes John who was once dating Jane's best friend Mary who had sex with John at a party in 2005 which is the year Jane and my woman first became friends... it's another thing if she pouts and b/tches and moans about something in her life and then gives me a hard time when I give her specific steps she must take to solve her problems.

I have zero patience for people who bemoan their issues but have no will to do anything to solve them. Sure, we all face hardships and we are all entitled to a day when we're just overwhelmed and spent, and comfort as well as a listening ear and a warm smile do wonders. But please spare me any meaningless and worthless drama when life is tough enough as is.

[anp1983]

Originally Posted by *VaNiLlaGoRrilLa*

Sometimes I feel as though my boyfriend only ever wants to be around me when I am happy, laughing and positive.

Whenever I am upset or angry he completely shuts down. Doesn't want to talk about it, doesn't have time for it etc etc. If I say 'we need to talk' or 'can we talk about this' he usually just rolls his eyes and walks away, or gives me his attention, but with a filthy 'just hurry up and get whatever you want to say over with' look on his face. If we have an argument before bed he just rolls over and goes to sleep, despite me telling him I don't want us to go to bed angry. I usually cry myself to sleep!

I feel like we have a lot of unresolved issues and I hold in pretty much everything when it comes to my feelings.

Aren't relationships meant to be about taking the good with the bad?

As Marilyn Monroe once said "If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best"!

P.S. please don't base your answers on my previous threads. Things have taken a bit of a turn lately and I'd just like some opinions on this current situation.. Ladies have you ever had a man do this to you? Guys, do ALL men behave like this?

Those words can not be good news. I am not thrilled to hear them either, most men are not.

[gman6974]

I put up with enough drama at work. I work with all females in an office and I'm so damn sick of it.

I sure as hell am not going to deal with it when I get home.

[*VaNiLlaGoRrilLa*]

Originally Posted by gman6974

I put up with enough drama at work. I work with all females in an office and I'm so damn sick of it.

I sure as hell am not going to deal with it when I get home.

See now this is exactly what I'm talking about... how are we supposed to let you guys know how we feel if you act this way? You then get mad if we keep our feelings in, but what's the alternative??

[Braunwyn]

Originally Posted by *VaNiLlaGoRrilLa*

See now this is exactly what I'm talking about... how are we supposed to let you guys know how we feel if you act this way? You then get mad if we keep our feelings in, but what's the alternative??

I think what they're saying is that their women are largely shallow creatures that come to them with meaningless drivel. If that's what you're doing, stop. If you are a person of depth and require your partner to meet you half way IRT communication in your relationship, a characteristic of a healthy relationship, than you have a legitimate problem. It depends on the players involved.

[anp1983]

Originally Posted by gman6974

I put up with enough drama at work. I work with all females in an office and I'm so damn sick of it.

I sure as hell am not going to deal with it when I get home.

I understand where you are coming from man. Females are drawn to drama and over analyzing every little detail.

[TJenkins602]

I can tell you why I don't like drama.

All I ever dealt with is drama and I have my own problems that I am neck deep in. The fact is I can't fix your problems if I have my own.

It is not that we don't ever want to deal with drama, it is that we have a very low threshold and after a certain amount of drama we have to take off.

[TKramar]

Originally Posted by Sprawling_Homeowner

I have zero patience for people who bemoan their issues but have no will to do anything to solve them. Sure, we all face hardships and we are all entitled to a day when we're just overwhelmed and spent, and comfort as well as a listening ear and a warm smile do wonders. But please spare me any meaningless and worthless drama when life is tough enough as is.

I have zero patience for people who are only to eager to chuck it all away. That's why our divorce rates are so high--no one knows what commitment means any more.

[BQ12345]

VG, you just have to acknowledge and respect the fact that most of us men are just wired differently. Personally, I hate drama. I accept that women are wired differently, yet you don't seem to be able to accept that men are wired differently. It's fine to vent, but if it gets to the point that there's a problem you're just endlessly venting about, despite the fact that I've told you the solution, it gets really old after a while.